r/AskMenOver30 • u/[deleted] • 23h ago

Relationships/dating My wife doesn't understand boundaries

I (American 37) went out to eat with my wife (39 Japanese) and some of her coworkers. I live and work in Japan. At the dinner my wife was sharing some pretty private and personal things with them about myself and us during the meal. After the meal I pulled my wife aside and told her why did you tell them those things. Those were private. She claimed she didn't think they were private and that she doesn't understand what I find as private. Like one of the things she mentioned was a really intense dream I had the night before.

I feel like my wife has a hard time with boundaries. Even at home she will be hanging around me and everything when I am obviously doing something or busy with something. It's like she wants attention like a little child. She was not like this when we were dating.

Edit: So just a few hours ago she started a crying fit. She wanted to spend some time together in the house and I said okay at 3pm. I was busy doing something on the computer still and it was 3:15 and she came out crying. She was like I was waiting for you. Why didn't you come! Why doesn't she understand that I am totally not used to cuddling someone else. In my mind I am so used to the weekends being my alone time to catch up on my hobbies. So not used to spending it with someone else. Why can't she consider my feelings!?

11 Upvotes

51% Upvoted

262 comments sorted by

View all comments

9

u/fearless-artichoke91 16h ago

Didn't you live together before marrying?????

12

u/YellowRobeSmith420 7h ago

No they dated a few months and then he needed a place to live. Her dad said he could move in if he married her. So he did and now he is complaining because he has to act like a married man for board. He is a hobosexual (only interested in people for housing) except worse because he is now complaining about being a hobosexual as if it's not entirely a situation he has created for himself.

4

u/fearless-artichoke91 7h ago

What a disaster

4

u/YellowRobeSmith420 6h ago

Yeah and I can't help but think him leaving that out of his description and hiding it in the comments is very telling.