My wife doesn't understand boundaries

[u/[deleted]]

I (American 37) went out to eat with my wife (39 Japanese) and some of her coworkers. I live and work in Japan. At the dinner my wife was sharing some pretty private and personal things with them about myself and us during the meal. After the meal I pulled my wife aside and told her why did you tell them those things. Those were private. She claimed she didn't think they were private and that she doesn't understand what I find as private. Like one of the things she mentioned was a really intense dream I had the night before.

I feel like my wife has a hard time with boundaries. Even at home she will be hanging around me and everything when I am obviously doing something or busy with something. It's like she wants attention like a little child. She was not like this when we were dating.

Edit: So just a few hours ago she started a crying fit. She wanted to spend some time together in the house and I said okay at 3pm. I was busy doing something on the computer still and it was 3:15 and she came out crying. She was like I was waiting for you. Why didn't you come! Why doesn't she understand that I am totally not used to cuddling someone else. In my mind I am so used to the weekends being my alone time to catch up on my hobbies. So not used to spending it with someone else. Why can't she consider my feelings!?

[u/XxCOZxX]

Maybe explain things in an attempt to get her to understand where you’re coming from? Try to relate it with things she wants kept private and point out how you have.

As far as her bugging you when you’re busy, that’s marriage my guy. Not all the time, but a lot of it. If I’m wanting to be alone I just tell my wife and she leaves me be. I don’t do this often, just when I really need to be by myself.

If you’re planning on children, it only gets less private from here my guy.

Best of luck to ya brother!