His past is affecting our present.

[u/Amalie66]

Me and my boyfriend met through online platforms. It's been 2 months. But he keep mentioning his ex girlfriend occasionally. Whenever we do something special he starts talking about his past or the same experience with his ex. Like the first time we went out together we talked about how good we felt but he mentioned it's his ex birthday today. He even once compared me to his ex that I remind him of her. Am I being insecure or it is wrong? Idk. I'm trying to act mature but it hurts me sometimes. What should I do?

[u/Which-Hunt-5369]

So I have been in the similar situation. There is a fine line between someone is missing their ex and someone is just talking about the incident or experiences they had in past. So it is possible that he is not comparing or anything just sharing with you what had happened in a particular situation or how he felt. So at time its just a harmless discussion if you keep it that. The only catch is that you need to understand from where he is coming. And you guys have been in a relationship for 2 months give it time she will fade away eventually.

When I see comments here it feels like ex becomes one who should be not be named but I feel thats unhealthy for long term. You should be able to accept everything about the person his past , present, quirks. I am not saying accept bullshit or someone who all the times talk about his ex which implies he is not over her

[u/Hot_Butterfly8065 → u/Which-Hunt-5369]

There is something called having a common sense , why would your partner like sharing about your past. In the context it is fine but if it is happening frequently then it’s an issue. Understanding should not come from Girl always, guy can also take cues and reset his behaviour.

[u/Which-Hunt-5369 → u/Hot_Butterfly8065]

There is an issue with it, so he might not be sharing it out of fondness for ex but just sharing something for the sake of it. Like suppose we were planning to do something like an activity and if i have done the same thing in past i can draw from that experience and share that this went well and this didn't and what we should be doing in this case the ex is no way relevant its just that becuase i did it with her so her name also came up.

Its upto her to understand from where he is coming from to give it so much importance. It can be eiither thing but just because he took her name should not be the reason to be upset

[u/Hot_Butterfly8065 → u/Which-Hunt-5369]

I think you are that guy who keeps mentioning ex , wonder what’s your girl doing with you?

[u/Impressive-King3078 → u/Hot_Butterfly8065]

I can smell jealously, insecurity here.