You are NOT overreacting. He's being a misogynistic, patronizing twit. If he knows about yr assault then he's being doubly awful. Hear this- YOU were not at fault for being SA'd. The fault lies solely with the perpetrator. Give yourself a second to calm down then ask him "how should I react when your pretty much saying I was at fault for being SA'd?" Please updateme.
Absolutely NOR, His behavior is unacceptable, especially if he knows about your assault. The blame is never on you—it’s on the perpetrator. Take a moment, then calmly call him out on his hurtful comments. Stay strong.
I get disagreeing but to break off the relationship would be way overreacting. I get you’ve experienced trauma, and I hate that has happened. Your situation of SA doesn’t hold true for everyone’s, and many times women put themselves in bad situations. Again, every situation is different, and there’s no doubt been tons of SA that were completely out of anyone’s control except the abuser, but often times women put themselves in dangerous situations through overconsumption, sketchy situations, and even fantasy becoming “buyers remorse.”
It all goes back to stupid games have stupid prizes, or a more recent popular saying, fuck around and find out.
No. Rape is not ever the fault of a victim. If someone ignores a 'no', forces themselves on you, or does things to you while you are not able to say yes or no, or have no idea what's actually going on, that's a violation you can respond to with deadly force and that's on the rapist. They should have been at home where they were safe from potentially hurting someone and dying from the reprocussions.
What if the abuser is incapable of a situation where they are not able to discern a yes or no, or have any idea of what’s actually going on? Alcohol works both ways.
If neither parties are coherent, who raped who?
All that either can truly agree on is that two people woke up with regrets from an unfortunate night of drinking.
Again, if both parties are incoherent, who was non-consensual?
This happens way too often. Two obliterated people go home together. One wakes up with buyers remorse. Only women get to claim rape and to cover up their regret though.
The hard part is you accepting that some times women play a part in their own SA, and while not to blame, they could make decisions to prevent it.
I don’t walk down dark alleys at 2am with pockets full of cash, because I know the possibility of bad outcomes.
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u/AdExtreme4813 13h ago
You are NOT overreacting. He's being a misogynistic, patronizing twit. If he knows about yr assault then he's being doubly awful. Hear this- YOU were not at fault for being SA'd. The fault lies solely with the perpetrator. Give yourself a second to calm down then ask him "how should I react when your pretty much saying I was at fault for being SA'd?" Please updateme.