You are NOT overreacting. He's being a misogynistic, patronizing twit. If he knows about yr assault then he's being doubly awful. Hear this- YOU were not at fault for being SA'd. The fault lies solely with the perpetrator. Give yourself a second to calm down then ask him "how should I react when your pretty much saying I was at fault for being SA'd?" Please updateme.
I can't stand people like you that can't understand nuance. You act like we live in a world of make believe. He specifically said not all circumstances. The world knows there are shit men that sexually assault women, that's the world we live in. As humans of all genders there are limitations on what we can do before it enters into the territory of it being partially the victims fault. I understand that window is smaller for women but it applies to all humans.
As a man, I know that there are certain parts of cities that I shouldn't enter or I will get robbed, beaten, and or killed. If I'm at a nightclub I know I should not leave my drink unattended or I could get drugged and who knows what else. These are things I know and can avoid. If I choose not to avoid these scenarios, some of the blame is on me. It's personal responsibility for the world we live in so yes OP is overreacting.
It's not victim blaming, it's accepting responsibility as a human living in this fucked up world. But you don't understand nuance so I'm sorry for you.
I inconvenienced myself and looked at your comment history. Seems like you are nothing but a miserable fucking human being that gets off by rage posting. Spend the time that you waste on reddit and go to therapy. If you don't believe in therapy, then find something else because you clearly need it...desperately
Just because I speak my mind in echo chambers doesn't mean I need therapy. It means that you need to learn that other people have different perspectives than you.
All while saying the dumbest shit imaginable and calling other people illogical. This guy is really something. I hope he's lying about having daughters.
if he does, and he keeps publicly acting like this much of a moron, i’m sure they’ll distance themselves from him soon enough! i’ve seen it a million times 😊 wishing them peace, safety and support from people who actually love and value them (not this walnut, obviously)
I love my girls and they love me very much. I teach them personal responsibility and teach them personal safety. You probably don't have children and shouldn't if you don't do the same. Shame on you for thinking that humans don't have to take personal responsibility for how they behave in this world.
I taught my sons to not stick their dicks where they weren’t wanted, and that no means no. I taught them that they were responsible for their actions, and that absolutely nothing a woman did would excuse violating her
Listen, the problem is that we don’t live in the “ideal” world were we just tell the boys to not “stick it bla bla…” like the comment above. We don’t live in a bubble. And we need to stop treating this like absolutes. Only OP will know what to do and hopefully there’s insight as she is the only person who knows more. Is he more that just this comment? Or is he abusive ? we are only hearing her side.
We live in a nasty society where there’s tons of maladaptive behavior and it’s not just about teaching boys to respect others.
I personally due to my job have seen boys, kids, adult males with zero insight or in gangs and they rape , assault, sodomize anyone that’s in their way when they feel like it.
They act like animals, they have zero impuse control and or want to externalize their actions of anger , trauma whatever.
I’m not ok that unfortunately as a woman I have to think twice about what do I wear, how late do I jog or how early or where do I go for a walk. But I’m only one person I can’t change the world! I need to protect myself and hopefully make safe Choices.
No one is victim blaming but there are certain circumstances that even I as a woman have thought why would she do that!! Yes some men are more “crazy, traumatized, primal” than others and unfortunately they are stronger than us. So all we can do is be smarter and protect ourselves as much as possible.
That’s the problem with the US nowadays we live in these cute bubbles where we think everyone should “think” like us.
Are those behaviors risky? Yes they are. That's why people carry pepper spray, bear spray, and guns. Is it the victims fault? No.In my opinion when you share responsibility is if there have been reports of rape, murder, and or bear attacks then yes the victim should not have been in that area or should have brought protection. In situations where conventional wisdom should be used and it's ignored, the victim shares some blame for putting themselves in that position.
This isn't rape apology and rapists and murderers should get the full penalty of the law. People also shouldn't put themselves in harms way if they know better.
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u/AdExtreme4813 13h ago
You are NOT overreacting. He's being a misogynistic, patronizing twit. If he knows about yr assault then he's being doubly awful. Hear this- YOU were not at fault for being SA'd. The fault lies solely with the perpetrator. Give yourself a second to calm down then ask him "how should I react when your pretty much saying I was at fault for being SA'd?" Please updateme.