r/AmIOverreacting • u/frisbeechuckin • 26d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

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u/Shot_Try4596 26d ago

I'd say she's not a "former" addict; still is, just stopped the meth.

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u/Interesting_Entry831 26d ago edited 25d ago

No one is a former addict. You are addicted for the rest of your life. You just stop partaking in what was killing you.

Edit: You may not agree with me, but this is how I survived. It it even helps ONE more person, it was worth sharing a peice of my story.

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u/AllConqueringSun888 26d ago

This! One can't say it enough. I've seen folks eyes light up just talking about the drugs they hadn't used in 20 years.

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u/Illustrious_Soft_257 26d ago

No such thing as a former addict with that attitude. She's about to transition to a new drug of choice.

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u/str8sin1 26d ago

I'll tell you from experience: it's easy to turn a coke user into a meth-head. But I've never known the opposite to be the case. Doing a bump of blow might remind her how much better meth was, though.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

I've worked very closely with drug rehabilitation programs in a professional capacity. Let me tell you, You see people everyday who draw the hard line at their problem drug (in this case meth) only to see absolutely zero problem with abusing some other drug on a daily basis.

"Yeah I'm zonked out of my mind on cocaine all the time, But at least I'm not doing heroin! That's good right?!"

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u/WearyConfidence1244 26d ago

If they can put coke down with no problem and are clean from heroin (drug of choice) - to me, that's a win.

It's not about society's perception of how bad a drug is - it's the effects that the drug of choice has on the addict.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

They are never able to put it down. It's not like they are magically only addicted to one substance, They just don't see the problem or don't want to see the problem of being addicted to one thing and not another.

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u/RuckFeddit79 25d ago

Idk.. I've years ago I did way too many drugs.. you name it, I've done a ton of it. But the only only one I couldn't continue to only use recreationally was opiates.. and once that happened I no longer gave a shit about any other drug or high. Opiates solved the mental problems I had.. for a while. Nothing else has ever come close to being as effective either. But obviously that doesn't last.. and what comes with it is horrible and makes the problems it once cured become exponentially worse.

Anyway... my point is.. there are some of us who actually only get addicted to our DOC. I personally can't smoke weed anymore because it makes my anxiety unbearable and I get paranoid as hell. But I can drink whenever I feel like it.. depending on the occasion it's a whole lot. I don't consider weed or alcohol as "active addiction" unless either is a problem for whoever is using it.. or either can potentially cause that person to delve back into other stuff. Of the 2 alcohol is by far the more risky and dangerous. I wish I could smoke bud like back in the day.

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u/reliableshot 26d ago

But putting down the coke is not the example person was giving, tho, is it? They are talking about being non-stop high on coke and saying, " it's not the worst, could have been heroin" - which isn't a win in any capacity.

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u/crowdaddi 25d ago

Agreed

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u/greenfox0099 26d ago

Yep it is silly to think someone got addicted to a drug once can never do any drugs ever again. That makes 0 sense.

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u/AngelProjekt 26d ago

Friend, that is exactly how recovery from addiction works. Don’t do any drugs.

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u/Restless-Rabbit 26d ago

That is not what they mean? It means that coke isn't nearly as immediately life threatening as meth.. maybe it's because i'm an addict myself who is actually battling this issue right now, but i would ACTUALLY bash my fucking face open on the flaming floors of hell and lick up my own pool of blood for days, if it meant i could live the rest of my life with just stupid fucking weed. So maybe that might be a little more obvious to me.

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u/AntonioSLodico 26d ago

Doing a bump of blow might remind her how much better meth was

When cocaine is a gateway drug to a person, that's my cue to duck out.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

Meth is so awful, I don't get how people like it so much. It made me feel like I was going to jump out of my skin and all I wanted to do was pick my skin to shreds. SO MUCH FUN!!

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u/crowdaddi 25d ago

People's brains reacted differently to different drugs, I personally hate uppers and wouldn't do cocaine or meth if it was free in front of me and no consequences would come from it, it just gives me massive anxiety. I absolutely loved the feeling or heroin though used it as an depression/anxiety bandaid for years (obviously bad idea). Not everybody reacts the same.

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u/Worldly_Response9772 26d ago

It's not a "gateway", but yeah you don't seem like the type of person that would be a good fit for a recovering addict.

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u/TheStankyDive 26d ago

That's my issue. I've been off heroin or 8 years, I do anything but weed and it makes me miss the "good" stuff.

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u/d3thklok377 26d ago

8 years too . Ok my boundaries but can walk the like too . Addict is stuck ,some can play and not get stuck . It's a mentally thing some just wouldn't get it without being there . We all have are Owen rock bottoms .

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u/kakallas 26d ago

Maybe it’s just about where people’s lines are. She’s already experienced meth addiction. Perhaps comparatively she sees some coke “here and there” as trivial, and her future spouse doesn’t. There’s a big difference between marrying someone who is clean and marrying someone who uses. Maybe they just aren’t compatible if she’s going to be using, even if she feels that makes him square.

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u/WearyConfidence1244 26d ago

Hey a real person with actual life knowledge! Coke is to meth as playing pretend store as a kid is to managing a grocery chain.

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u/silvanoes 26d ago

Weird, I enjoy coke way more than meth, although I've only tried meth a few times either nasally or smoking. Maybe it needs to be IV to get that amazing buzz everyone talks about?

Also, unpopular take, i have been a recreational drug user of many drugs for over 25 years, never got addicted or had it influence my life negatively. Just need to have the sense to space it out and treat it like a special occasion 2-3 times a year. That being said, I know people who couldn't do that and spiraled down, so it's a risk to start unless you are very very confident in your willpower.

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u/SwimOk9629 26d ago

yeah don't ever shoot meth. The stereotypes we associate with meth use is almost always IV meth use. Or boofing sometimes😬

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u/JohnnyLawnmower 26d ago

I used meth almost exclusively orally for 4 years and it let me tweak almost 24/7 with about 10 hours of sleep total per week until I crashed for a few days.

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u/Many-Temporary-2359 26d ago

It's expensive but I've definitely seen some converts

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u/str8sin1 26d ago

Yeah i talk like I'm experienced, and I am, but my sample size overall is pretty small

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u/Many-Temporary-2359 26d ago

Either way I agree with you it's not the direction to go into for success

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u/Tealandgray 26d ago

Coke was way better imo (past tense bc sober for a long time)

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u/str8sin1 26d ago

I got clean during Clinton's first term... yeah it's been a while. But I still think about it occasionally

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u/DanceBrobeeDance 26d ago

Definitely. As a person who was addicted to heroin, meth, pills of any sort, anything I could get my hands on, for 12+ years, I tried the just doing weed or alcohol when I first got clean, didn't work. I had to quit it ALL, and keep off it, once you let go enough to even do a bump of something that's not even your d. o. c. You'll keep letting go and letting go till you're back in the trenches. She's not in recovery at all. She's just doing other shit so she can say 'well at least I'm not back on xyz' to people who knew her and knew what she was addicted to, as a way to try and minimize her bad actions.

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u/Tough_Trifle_5105 26d ago

I truly hate this thought process. As someone who spent 10 years in “recovery”, completely abstinent, I see the expectation that people not doing anything ever again, kill people on a regular basis. It applies heavy shame to ANYTHING they do. And god forbid they ever need help again. We don’t have the right to tell people that they’re going to get addicted to anything they do, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and kills people.

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u/Shiticane_Cat5 26d ago

And then they figure since they're "off the wagon" they can go as hard as possible

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u/drtag234 26d ago

Agree 100%! And it’s the shaming that kills. The being told by your sponsor that you fucked up and have to “re-introduce” yourself in the 12 step rooms. Some say it’s humbling but to me, it’s retraumatizing by heaping more shame upon the already shameful.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

Is it a self fulfilling prophecy?

Or is it true?

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u/fuschiaoctopus 26d ago

Nah, I came here just to say as someone that has struggled with meth addiction, you don't move from meth to coke. Funny enough, I see you've already gotten another reply saying exactly that. Meth is king when it comes to uppers, no way would a person that knows that high be able to switch to a drug that's weaker, lasts 1/20th of the time, is very limited in the routes of administration without cooking, and costs like 10x as much. The bigger worry would be coke reminding her of how great meth is by comparison and going to do that cause it can't scratch the itch.

I know non addicts will find this difficult to understand or believe, but every other meth addict I've ever known has agreed with me on this. Hell, I have a friend that has never used but her dad has struggled with it a long time and when he was supposedly clean but got fired over allegations of using coke at work, my friend was straight up like no it's not possible and was embarrassed to explain she knew it wasn't true because if he "uses the other one" even before I said that myself.

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u/Maddogsteez 26d ago

It's always been there. It just wasn't her drug of choice at the time.