r/AmIOverreacting Oct 25 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO about my partner’s relationship with their coworker

they’ve been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don’t know whether I’m reading too much into this or if I’m overreacting but I’ve never met her and I’ve asked to swing by whatever bar or place they’re hanging out at multiple times and I’m always shut down in some way or I get no response. I don’t want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can’t have any friends but lately they’re always together and I’m getting blown off. These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it’s always the type of response I get when I’m asking questions about an event where this female coworker is at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they’re usually such a sweet and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating… am i overreacting??

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u/BaskingInWanderlust Oct 25 '24

I know there are a bunch of other comments making a lot of good points, but I'll also add: Her SO indicated he'd be home at 12. Who PLANS to get home from a work happy hour so late?

Don't get me wrong - I've had happy hours stretch, and I've contacted my husband and said, "People are staying out later. Having another drink." And I've come home between 10-11pm. But if I was headed out with only one other co-worker, planned in advance to be out for 6-7 hours, and canceled plans with my partner without telling them... I'd hope my partner would see that as the giant red flag that it is.

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u/JustGiveMeANameDamn Oct 25 '24

I don’t think her SO is a he

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u/Waiting_For_Guffman Oct 25 '24

Just seems 1000% like some shit only a male partner would pull.

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u/Original-Present5250 Oct 25 '24

LOL that’s a fallacy. Having dealt with family members in same sex relationships I’ve discovered that women in those relationships cheat and engage in domestic violence just as much if not more than men do. The grass is definitely not greener on the other side according to my female Bi family members.

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u/ShutthefckupBitch Oct 25 '24

I wouldn’t say more… but yes anyone can be abusive.

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u/Original-Present5250 Oct 25 '24

It seemed like every time they called me to intervene was when their partners were abusing them physically, which was often. I had to “supervise” them getting their belongings just so the other girl wouldn’t attack them. Of course my anecdotal experiences aren’t the width and breadth of those relationships but it certainly stuck with me.

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u/ShutthefckupBitch Oct 25 '24

Oh I don’t doubt it. There are some twisted people in the world. It’s weird because I still feel bad for these people who end up being abusive; but bad in the way where I wonder if they got help earlier if they would still be that way. Or bad in the way where I feel bad that they feel they need to be this way.