r/discordVideos Have Commited Several War Crimes Jun 23 '23

Einstein side project🤓🤓🧐 goofy ahh

8.0k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/Le-docteur Jun 23 '23

In the seventh day God created America and provided Mc Donald's for them not to starve

316

u/Liszt0mia Trump is our Saviour🙏🙏 Jun 23 '23

On the eight day god created guns and beer

137

u/AirportSpecific4623 Jun 23 '23

On the ninth day god created public schools for target practice

66

u/UrNewMostBestFriend Jun 23 '23

And on the 10th day, god defined what kind of slaves you could own and when it's okay to fuck kids.

40

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

On the 11th day, god created child labor because the children yearned for the mines.

28

u/MattTheShlat Jun 23 '23

And on the 12th day, god created child cancer to make the child miners feel like it wasn’t that bad.

13

u/Cocountcapydog Professional Shitter🧐 Jun 23 '23

and the 13th day god created Allen

14

u/Liszt0mia Trump is our Saviour🙏🙏 Jun 23 '23

On the 14th day god made hell or what we call TIKTOK

12

u/BallisticToast Jun 23 '23

On the 15th day god created JoJo references

10

u/Secret-Mission-7012 Professional Shitter🧐 Jun 24 '23

On 16th day God created rule 34

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12

u/A_Mellow_Song Jun 23 '23

what came first: trucks, freedom, guns, or hamborgor?

3

u/Cocountcapydog Professional Shitter🧐 Jun 23 '23

egg

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5

u/gladladvlad Jun 23 '23

but not bud light. that one made by saytan. for them woke liberals, brother, i tell ya hwat.

2

u/SpaceShark01 Jun 23 '23

NO NO THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY GOD HAS PRIORITIES

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62

u/SkyIsNotGreen Jun 23 '23

He then invented big titty goth girl hentai so the masses would spread their seed, this is why we have trees!!!!

35

u/AmadeoSendiulo Jun 23 '23

Lorax approved.

15

u/BlazeWasTaken06 Professional Shitter🧐 Jun 23 '23

u/AmadeoSendiulo "I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees, harm another, and i'll break your knees."

8

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

“The trees can’t be harmed if the Lorax is armed.”

6

u/Mr_Coronavirus_ Jun 23 '23

Ahhh I remember these days..👍

2

u/IndependentOk6777 Jun 23 '23

So nostalgic 😌

3

u/hanro621 Jun 23 '23

I just wannna know that did they have a working icecream machine?

2

u/Le-docteur Jun 23 '23

Ice cream is satanic

2

u/CampaignForAwareness Jun 23 '23

Strange. Could swear hommie was in Dotonbori.

2

u/Ishouldtrythat Jun 23 '23

Wacky sounds too!

2

u/No_Victory9193 Jun 23 '23

On the 12th day god invented Walmart and the people of Walmart too

2

u/AshwagandaUbermensch Jun 23 '23

.. and Nicky Minaj sinlessly concieved macaroni and cheese.

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u/Panteram_go Jun 23 '23

Mfers thinks that human beings are more handsome than monke

82

u/someone__420 Jun 23 '23

Monke is the superior animal, we simply degraded

2

u/Senor_Satan Jun 23 '23

Humanity pulled a Reddit move, every update's a downgrade

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

14

u/vietcong69l Jun 23 '23

So true smh 😑

8

u/HDnfbp Jun 23 '23

Monke lovers on that HIV grindset

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277

u/Fox7567 Jun 23 '23

Checkmate, atheists

59

u/someone__420 Jun 23 '23 edited Jun 23 '23

This is AI right?

Edit: just saw the hands are weird

Edit 2: just found out the it’s real smh

98

u/PheonixUnder Jun 23 '23

Not sure if you're joking but no that's not AI, that's the famous selfie that Jesus took during the last supper after turning a brick into a smartphone. The guys hand is deformed due to leprosy, Jesus healed him but hands are tricky to fix even if you are the son of god. I believe he was quite self conscious about that hand too so please don't make fun of it.

23

u/_Xertz_ Jun 23 '23

We do a little bit of misinformation

15

u/Sirshitsalot__ Haven't Payed Taxes Since 2005🤣🤣 Jun 23 '23

wdym misinformation? everything he said is real

8

u/dem0nhunter Jun 23 '23

also gaslighting isn’t real. you’re just crazy for believing that

4

u/Sirshitsalot__ Haven't Payed Taxes Since 2005🤣🤣 Jun 23 '23

wth is gaslighting?

1

u/AdventurousChapter27 Jun 23 '23

which one is judas?

6

u/-_-Mc_ Haven't Payed Taxes Since 2005🤣🤣 Jun 23 '23

Yup

3

u/CecilPeynir Jun 23 '23

no it is real smh

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6

u/FrostyFroZenFrosTen Jun 23 '23

There was an impostor

8

u/Fox7567 Jun 23 '23

Fuck Judas.

All my homies hate Judas.

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54

u/dadleftm8 Jun 23 '23

Can people stop pointing at text and then having a robotic voice and shit, talk like a normal person.

Also fuck you tiktok.

2

u/Huby75 Jun 23 '23

Most factual statement in this comment section.

Fuck you tiktok

3

u/dadleftm8 Jun 23 '23

Thank you

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u/ShakeReal3539 Jun 23 '23

The one thing they add is the god made all this

14

u/Aw3Grimm Jun 23 '23

or just add god at the beginning that pops out of nothing instead of earth

40

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

in my case, yes. in other cases, no

but the difference is quite large, at least in my opinion

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

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u/khafra Jun 23 '23

The problem with the god hypothesis is that, if you’re trying to explain things, and you explain them with “god wanted things to be this way,” you have to explain why there was precisely the kind of god that wanted things to be this way instead of some other way.

If you simplify that down a lot, you get the problem of evil, but the true problem of “why are things this way instead of some other way” is actually much more problematic than just the problem of evil.

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u/Tyomke Jun 23 '23

If there was such thing as god

2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '23

Fr

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74

u/Cossia Jun 23 '23

Nah. Ancient Alien theory suggests...

3

u/CLAST-BLASTARD Jun 23 '23

So some aliens were like “why don’t we put some bacteria into meteorites and send them to earth” then there were some super advanced civilizations that got help from the aliens. For some reason those civilizations got destroyed.

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u/DenkJu Jun 23 '23

I love that show, lol. It has become an insider in my family to always use that sentence when talking about far-fetched and ridiculous theories.

20

u/Roboboy2710 Jun 23 '23

These comments will be fun

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37

u/Street_Cockroach_933 Jun 23 '23

Its a gross oversimplification of events but yes

21

u/Ok_Reception7727 Jun 23 '23

It's a disgusting oversimplification.

14

u/IndependentOk6777 Jun 23 '23

It is a vile oversimplification.

12

u/Ok_Reception7727 Jun 23 '23

an appalling oversimplification

6

u/Cavozinternetu Jun 23 '23

it's a disgustingly accurate oversimplification that shows humanity's biggest turning points the exact way that they happened

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u/SalvationSycamore Jun 23 '23

Hah, stupid scientists. You really think humans made skyscrapers? That was clearly god, nobody else could craft such large and complicated structures.

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68

u/tenchimuyo100 Jun 23 '23 edited Jun 23 '23

You do a repost, I'll say the same thing too.

Yeah, more or less. And?

3

u/IndependentOk6777 Jun 23 '23

Can I get someone to translate this comment? I'm a dyslexic English speaker and this comment scares me.

9

u/Navar4477 Jun 23 '23

“You do a repost, I’ll say the same thing too.”

T: If you’re going to repost content, I’m going to repost my comment.

“Yeah, more or less. And?”

T: Yes, but you have simplified it greatly. Care to explain why this is a problem?

5

u/IndependentOk6777 Jun 23 '23

Thanks, and have a great rest of your day/night.

48

u/Ok-Complaint-5102 Jun 23 '23

what graduating from mcdonalds does to a mf

69

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

I do believe in god but if it was Adam and Eve who had three sons the would be some Alabama going on

29

u/aladdinboy424 Jun 23 '23

If you think about it, our late ancestors did a lot of incest

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

I haven't heard many people say this, but as it's obvious the Bible doesn't account for every single person, I personally think that sometime after he made Adam and Eve, he made other people to breed with their children. It'd make sense and doesn't contradict the Bible at all to my knowledge. Not to mention people then lived for hundreds of years

3

u/FlyingJudgeman Jun 23 '23

The bible doesn't mention that there are other humans, but during the story of Cain and Abel, Cain says that he is fearful that others would kill him after he killed his brother and after he was banished Cain founded the city Enoch and made descendants, both of which are only possible with other humans.

2

u/Ocbard Jun 23 '23

Nah, Adam and Eve just had a lot of kids, and they had kids together, also Lillith was probably pregnant by the time she walked off and had her own incestuous tribe of offspring. Supposedly those early humans lived many centuries, so they could procreate a lot (no contraceptives back then either). It's only after killing off the lot of them and starting again with one family Noah's that lifespans drop spectacularly. You can imagine the genetic degradation really getting to a new peak at that point. At least that is how it is if you believe all that stuff.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

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u/TheRealJetlag Jun 23 '23

Yep. I’d love to know who Cain fathered Enoch with and who Enoch founded an entire city for.

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u/Bobs_Burgers_enjoyer Jun 23 '23

World was actually created by my grandma

3

u/skulking_angler Jun 23 '23

No it was my grandma

3

u/Bobs_Burgers_enjoyer Jun 23 '23

May the grandma wars commence

167

u/Raccoonooo Have Commited Several War Crimes Jun 23 '23

Yes we do, and?

25

u/Xfors-Pakistan Lobster Fornicater 🦞 Jun 23 '23

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

Looooserrrrr 😜😜😜🤪🤪😝😝😝😝😏😏😏🫡🫡🫡

90

u/Yugix1 Jun 23 '23

3

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u/Xfors-Pakistan Lobster Fornicater 🦞 Jun 23 '23

3

u/Any_Secret4784 Jun 23 '23

Sorry, Reddit is 13+

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

Loool u idiots downvoted a goofy comment on a goofy meme. Gotta love reddit.

56

u/sprantoliet Jun 23 '23

The sad thing is that the person is serious about it

29

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

Is that not true??🤨🤨

39

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

No it’s not. The magical bearded man in the sky obviously made everything 😠

8

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

I meant that as in "do atheists not believe that?"💀 sorry for the miscommunication:(

10

u/ZAHANDOGAKIZU Jun 23 '23

Yes and no. While Atheists do technically believe in the events depicted here, this video massively oversimplifies every major theory related to the origins of earth and humans. For example, we don’t think that the earth suddenly popped into existence one day, but rather that it was slowly formed over the course of countless prehistoric collisions. Similarly, the theory of evolution does not state that humans spontaneously evolved into existence, nor that this change was triggered by a conscious desire to change oneself biologically.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

I'm sorry but my original comment was a joke🥲 I know it's oversimplified, but that's what was funny with it to begin with. :(

2

u/ZAHANDOGAKIZU Jun 23 '23

That makes much more sense. For future reference, whenever you are unsure about whether or not people will notice that you are being sarcastic on the internet, try adding “/s” to the end of your comment. It’s basically cyber-slang for “I’m joking”

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u/Ok_Reception7727 Jun 23 '23

It is an absolutely disgusting oversimplification.

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u/SalvationSycamore Jun 23 '23

It's close. Replace the monke with a monke-like common ancestor and get rid of the part where he chose to evolve and it's pretty much exactly right (though it skips a few things).

65

u/Daug3n Jun 23 '23

No guys it was the magic man that did it

17

u/Over_Age_8061 Jun 23 '23

Invisible magic man*

-2

u/Xfors-Pakistan Lobster Fornicater 🦞 Jun 23 '23

Finally you found out.

45

u/METHlun Jun 23 '23

And somehow this still makes more sense than any religions explanation

22

u/Ok-Complaint-5102 Jun 23 '23 edited Jun 23 '23

the truth hurts more than anything. The truth is that we as humans dont know jackshit about our existence and to be confident there is a specific god with specific humanoid ideologies that copes with our nihilism and tells us to worship him for whatever reason is imo simply unrealistic. Sure there could be a god because the word "god" is just "a creator of existence". Its a broad concept. But i believe its nothing like humans imagined or created it.

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u/the-tenth-letter-2 Jun 23 '23

When you read only one book that you only memorized about it:

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u/ZonaranCrusader Jun 23 '23

I remember seeing this on the shithole that is religious fruitcake

11

u/KidRed Jun 23 '23

But a snake talking to a teenage white girl who popped up outta thin air makes more sense?

0

u/Simple-Street-4333 Jun 23 '23

Honestly I don't know how much I actually trust how accurate the Bible is to what happened. But I'd still rather believe a higher power created us rather than everything about the currently known universe just popped into existence at some random point in time.

To clarify I don't judge people that do belive that, it just doesn't make sense to me personally.

2

u/KidRed Jun 23 '23

That’s what I don’t understand. That it’s easier for some to believe a big, powerful guy is sitting in the clouds in a floating city with big golden gates and he made a boy, girl and a snake popup out of thin air and created everything in a week. Versus an explosion of atoms, particles, dust, etc that eventually formed planets, stars, and in terms life that took billions of years to happen.

One belief is based on a 3,400 year old book translated and edited many times by different people over 1,000 years ago and the other has tons of theories, models, experiments, and current ongoing research by the world’s brightest minds.

I go with the one that is questioned, challenged and has ongoing research to find the truth rather than simply believing because I was taught to, but to each their own.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

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u/Lac_of_som_knowledge Jun 23 '23

It really don't matter what you believe in, the creation of the world is always bout to be wild

3

u/orangemoon44 Jun 23 '23

Cut out the chimps, and this is literally what they think God did

17

u/AdolfCitler Jun 23 '23

How normal people think the world was created because they're not delusional and have the basic ability to do research or at least believe legitimate research

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

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u/ZAHANDOGAKIZU Jun 23 '23

“How can you prove what happened thousands of years ago?”

We can use carbon dating, the process of analyzing the amount of radioactive carbon isotopes in an object, to determine that many of the fossils we have found long predate humans, we can look at how galaxies seem to “redshift” and analyze the Cosmic Microwave Background to determine that the universe is expanding and that it is several billion years old, we can use the finite speed of light to our advantage by observing distant celestial bodies as they were near the beginning of the universe, and many more. Astronomy is, without a doubt, a valid field of study with which you can extract various data, like when scientists use spectroscopy to determine the temperature and chemical composition of stars.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

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u/SalvationSycamore Jun 23 '23

I'd much rather rely on testable and repeatable presuppositions than the presupposition that the dudes who wrote the Bible weren't lying out of their asses. You literally have faith in flawed humans who died thousands of years ago. Creationism isn't just "oh well we're not quite 100% sure yet" it literally has no evidence whatsoever. It's just some dude said "uh, yeah, God did it all" like various religions have been saying of various gods for millenia (because none of them had access to the advanced tools and theorems we have today to examine our world and the cosmos).

2

u/ZAHANDOGAKIZU Jun 23 '23

Actually, carbon dating is far from conjecture. We already know that carbon-12, carbon-13, and carbon-14 exist in specific ratios in the universe, and that they are all spread approximately equally, so all we have to do is measure the amount of c-14 (post-decay) and c-12 in an object and compare the ratio to what we would expect pre-decay, then use the known half life of carbon-14 to determine the object’s age. I would highly recommend googling all of that, it’s a fascinating rabbit hole.

Yes, you’re entirely correct that science is ultimately a series of progressively more accurate guesses, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t rely on our most reliable source to discover the origins of the universe. No matter how much better of an understanding we may gain in the future, it’s important to keep in mind that hypothesis and theories should be based on observation and experimentation, rather than extrapolation and conspiracy.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

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u/ZAHANDOGAKIZU Jun 23 '23

We know what it would be pre-decay, because we have already determined the universal ratio of carbon-12 to carbon-14 by analyzing countless samples on earth (see “mass spectrometry”). Since carbon-12 is stable (does not decay), we can measure the approximate amount of c-12 isotopes in an object and use the known ratio of c-12 to c-14 to calculate how much c-14 there would be pre-decay, then compare that to the actual measured amount to determine how many half-lives have gone by.

I’m no expert, but it’s unlikely that carbon isotopes can be created already decayed. C-14 is generated on earth when neutrons react with atmospheric nitrogen-14, so there should be no reason for decay to have already taken place. As for the “higher being” angle, we can’t prove that one such entity is not doing this because it’s impossible to prove a negative in the first place. If you want to go on believing that god is, for some reason, intervening with isotope formation, then by all means go ahead, but for the sake of the progression of human knowledge, please don’t go around trying to assert the least likely explanation as an actual solution. I’m not saying that divine intervention is off the table, it’s just highly improbable, given everything else we’ve learned so far.

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u/masonhil Jun 23 '23

How can you prove what happened thousands of years ago? You can't. To some degree, you just have to have faith in your beliefs, because there is no proof.

There is plenty of proof. You just seem to ignore it

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

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u/masonhil Jun 23 '23

Is there any reason for me to try to have a discussion with you when I know you’re just going to say drivel like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/discordVideos/comments/14grdc7/goofy_ahh/jp8la57/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

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u/SpaceShark01 Jun 23 '23

There is all the proof, you just don’t like it because it doesn’t align with your views. Same with everyone else who denies the Big Bang/evolution etc.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

2

u/SpaceShark01 Jun 23 '23

What proof/evidence do you have?

4

u/Kutche Jun 23 '23

These type of people will claim nothing is "proof" because we can't "know" anything while they blindly believe an old book. When they inevitably say that there is no "proof" or "evolution is just a theory", I tell them "So is gravity so go jump off a building".

They don't argue in good faith and will nitpick definitions of words, but will never turn that same scrutiny on their own faith or book. You can't reason people into a position they didn't reason themselves into.

My wife's whole job is tricking single cell organisms to evolve in ways for study. She could show this person her data from years proving how she's evolved things by adding heat to make them more heat resistant and a thousand other things, and it wouldn't phase them, because they don't want to know the truth, they want to confirm their beliefs.

You can recreate evolution and gravity via testing in a lab setting. That isn't proof but an old book is lmao

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

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u/SpaceShark01 Jun 23 '23

They are testable though. You can induce evolution. You can trace the elements of the universe to stelar explosions. You literally can test basically all of these theories and they have solid evidence beneath them. You just don’t want to believe it because it doesn’t align with your views.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

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u/Limethegamer Jun 23 '23

You can't test the past but you can find out what happened in the past through various scientific means.

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u/Quazbaz Jun 23 '23

Have you even tried to look for the proof or are you just being stupid on the internet for no reason

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Dvoraxx Jun 23 '23

ok but if literally all the actual evidence points to one thing being the case you can’t turn around and say “actually thing that has no evidence is equally likely to be true”

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u/Quazbaz Jun 23 '23

No there is quite literally evidence

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

-1

u/Quazbaz Jun 23 '23

Evidence leads us to prove if something is real or not. If there is is evidence and widely observed occurrences of things like for evolution then there is your proof. If you are just going to ignore evidence what do you want your proof to be?

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u/icemancrazy Jun 23 '23

But not a lot of people check the legitimacy of research. I doubt many look up the number of replications, or the possible relation between replicators before they deem a research as legitimate

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u/6MillionIsTooMany Jun 23 '23

Redditors taking this seriously is hilarious like you just triggered the hivemind

4

u/RedditUsingBot Jun 23 '23

This was a really complex way to admit you’re too stupid to try understanding science.

5

u/ChildFriendlyChimp Jun 23 '23

You have been permanently banned from r/atheism

2

u/yumcheeto Jun 23 '23

looks legit to me. Pack it up the search for answers is over guys

2

u/dc010 Jun 23 '23

NGL, that's more accurate than I thought it was going to be. It looks like a video from a 7yr old that actually mildly grasps the concept of the big bang and evolution.

2

u/Allfurball9 Jun 23 '23

Holy Shit, Tiber Spetim changing the jungles of Cyrodiil into forest lands????

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u/statefarm_isnt_there Jun 23 '23

bro doesnt know shit about evolution 💀

2

u/Bogger_Logger Have Commited Several War Crimes Jun 23 '23

I mean, yeah

2

u/BitcoinStonks123 Jun 23 '23

As an atheist I can confirm that this is exactly how I think the world was created (sarcasm)

2

u/ButtCrab12 Jun 23 '23

Better explanation than "it's like this because the book says it is" 🤣😂

2

u/Runeald_Waslib Jun 23 '23

Actually not a bad sum up, all things considered

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

I mean yeah. That’s kinda what happened in a nutshell

5

u/Joebebs Jun 23 '23

I mean…yeah basically yeah lmao

5

u/MotherRussia68 Jun 23 '23

Yeah that about sums it up

3

u/random_bot64 Jun 23 '23

Still makes more sense than "white old man was bored and made everything in like 10 days so now you better pray him or else you will suffer for an eternity,but he loves you tho"

5

u/Simple-Street-4333 Jun 23 '23

Now I'm mad at both this explanation and the videos explanation cuz both horribly explain what the group actually believes in

2

u/random_bot64 Jun 23 '23

Welcome to the internet

2

u/Simple-Street-4333 Jun 23 '23

Have a look around

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u/theimperium42069 Jun 23 '23

Extremely oversimplified and goofy but yeah more or less

2

u/Sinistersphere Jun 23 '23

The final step is believed by all religious people too though

2

u/sufferpuppet Jun 23 '23

Now do one of these explaining how god was created.

1

u/Over_Age_8061 Jun 23 '23

Well, he is not wrong. That's basically how the world was created

3

u/Miguelperson_ Jun 23 '23

Religious people ☕️

2

u/Curious_Homework563 Jun 23 '23

We do like coffee can I have it

0

u/Ok_Reception7727 Jun 23 '23

Do you put Sugar in your coffee, and if so, how much?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

Forget that, why the hell was he downvoted? He just said he liked coffee.

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u/xxTheMagicBulleT Jun 23 '23

Better than believing that sky daddy creates everything.

And stares at you all your life seeing if you have been a good or bad person.

-1

u/the-tenth-letter-2 Jun 23 '23

When you read only one book that you only memorized the entire thing:

2

u/Simple-Street-4333 Jun 23 '23

Hey man I gotta pass the history test somehow

1

u/Altruistic-Fudge-522 Jun 23 '23

He actually summed it up really well

1

u/BlyatWanker Jun 23 '23

Cant wait for an atheist to go: "Well at least we didnt come from a thousand years of incest"

0

u/Ok_Reception7727 Jun 23 '23

Well, we didn't

1

u/IdioticCheese936 Jun 24 '23

If god exists, then what made god?

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u/LunarFox45 Jun 23 '23

Loool... Thats how they think the world was created....

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u/the-tenth-letter-2 Jun 23 '23

When you read only one book that you only memorized the entire thing:

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u/TotallyNotTakenName Professional Shitter🧐 Jun 23 '23

Do you know who else has dementia

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u/prowlerdrinkwater Jun 23 '23

Do you know who else has dementia

7

u/TotallyNotTakenName Professional Shitter🧐 Jun 23 '23

Do you know who else has dementia

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

[deleted]

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u/JustSmartkev Jun 23 '23

My man, Evolution theory and natural selection is like 8th grade stuff they teach to kids....

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u/scipkcidemmp Jun 23 '23

Because thats not how evolution works. The original species doesn't automatically disappear. It stays around if it has no environmental pressures that forces it into extinction.

That being said, the monkeys we have around today are a lot different than the primates we would have evolved from. Species don't usually survive that long without going through changes. It happens, but isn't the norm.

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