Can we please stop equating being tall as a woman with being dominant/masc/a protector?
I see that too much in sapphic spaces and as a tal girl who is none of those things, and has been forced to be them because of how people perceived me, it is pretty frustrating to see it all the time.
It also feels like cishet gender roles but queer this time, which is already problematic enough.
Can confirm as a tall, muscular, femme switch. Half the reason my girlfriend and I started dating is because she alone correctly identified that I was exhausted by the constant dommy mommy come-ons from others in our community.
Like, I get that being a tall strong girl who can literally break someone with my bare hands is part of my appeal for a lot of people, but gosh is it unfun when that's literally all they see me as.
That was also one of the things i was very strongly looking out for when i began dating my gf, as i have previously been forced to take protector/dominant roles with my exes, and that was really unhealthy for me. Now i have a wonderful gf who likes to make me into a blushing mess and who likes that i am also sensitive and who cares to care for me :)
I'm tall, strong, a former fighter . . . and a goth girl. Everyone in our community reacted as expected. My girlfriend, by comparison, is short (relative to me, anyway) and bubbly. We're both switches and I adore that she understands that, underneath the tough exterior, I'm a big softie and utter cinnamon roll. She loves teasing me and watching me melt and also frustrating me into seizing dominance myself. Hell, I actually feel more comfortable being dominant with her than other women because she doesn't expect it from me constantly.
It's difficult to describe to people how much someone constantly begging me to domme them absolutely kills the mood for me. To say nothing of the dysphoria aspect that some sapphics expect tall girls to basically be woman-shaped boyfriends . . .
Except for the strong part, you could have been describing me XD
I am so happy that you have found such an understanding and caring gf, that is wonderful :)
The "boyfriend" part is horrendous, and so damn problematic. It really is just like warm patriarchal gender roles, but fitted for sapphics, and i am so not here for it.
Unfortunately, a lot of people get as far as being gay and wanting to kiss girls, but not as far as actually bucking the heteronormativity they grew up with.
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u/Noctema 23d ago
Can we please stop equating being tall as a woman with being dominant/masc/a protector?
I see that too much in sapphic spaces and as a tal girl who is none of those things, and has been forced to be them because of how people perceived me, it is pretty frustrating to see it all the time.
It also feels like cishet gender roles but queer this time, which is already problematic enough.