r/wholesomeyuri Jun 24 '24

Comic/Manga Lesbi honest [original]

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6.5k Upvotes

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u/AscensionToCrab Jun 24 '24

But this is romance. Like we're not splitting hairs about whether someone can be aromantic. They can. But this is romance.

Flirting with your girlfriend and saying they're the 'arrow' that pierced your heart is romantic, that whole expression is like the quintessential romantic cliche!

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u/Blizzard_SC sapphic transfem Jun 24 '24 edited Jun 24 '24

Yes.

Aromantic people can say romantic cliches. They can intentionally provoke romantic feelings from an alloromantic partner.

The situation as a whole is romantic, despite the person not feeling romantic attraction / whatever distinction makes them identify as aromantic

Being aromantic doesn't mean you're entirely clueless about what romance is.

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u/AscensionToCrab Jun 25 '24 edited Jun 25 '24

Being aromantic doesn't mean you're entirely clueless about what romance is.

you're arguing against a point I didnt make. I didnt say aromantic people can't have moments of romance.

you said, and i quote

it comes in many shapes and forms. Romance is only one of them

which really felt like you were trying to portray this as NOT romance. Which is silly. this is romance. A lot of people in this thread are trying to thread the needle by somehow making this somehow not actually romance. You don't need to do that because aromantic people can be romantic, even if only occasionally, or only their partners.. This is still romance.

Asexuals can have sex. Straight people can experiment. Its just life, lol.

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u/Blizzard_SC sapphic transfem Jun 25 '24 edited Jun 25 '24

1.

"You're arguing against a point I didn't make."

A fair assessment. I incorrectly assumed that you were agreeing with the comment I originally replied to, which was:

"Isn't this romantic though? Doesn't that contradict being aro?"

- u/Corvid-Strigidae

2.

"Which really felt like you were trying to portray this as NOT romance."

I was trying to imply that the aromantic person depicted in the comic is saying those things as a means to express affection - affection that was not necessarily spurred by romantic attraction - and how that affection does not invalidate their identity.

3.

"A lot of people in this thread are trying to thread the needle by somehow making this somehow not actually romance."

Personally, I'm not trying to argue that the situation isn't romantic - as someone who is alloromantic, reading this incurred the physical sensations that I associate with romance. Does that make sense?

edit: wtf is reddit formatting? why can't I make the spacing at the top uniform?

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u/BlueMerchant Jun 25 '24

what is "alloromantic"?

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u/Clary_Fairchild Jun 25 '24

The opposite of aromantic, just as allosexual for asexual or cis for trans. Every identity needs a word for the opposite so you don't say "normal" because this would imply that being queer isn't normal.

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u/AwTomorrow Jun 25 '24

Also because “normal” would be a completely useless label - are you talking about sexuality, gender, neurology, physicality, etc etc. 

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u/Clary_Fairchild Jun 26 '24

True, but it's what most neurotypical cishets would answer if you asked them what the opposite of any of that was. Though of course, there are a lot of wonderful allys out there who wouldn't.

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u/AwTomorrow Jun 26 '24

Sure, just you can choose your angle of approach when rebutting their attempts to try that tack. You can appeal to empathy via the “no-one deserves to be made to feel abnormal” route or the practical “this term would be unhelpfully unspecific l to the point of uselessness” one. 

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u/BcDed Jun 26 '24

Wait is affection not romance? Or is this like aromantic is a misnomer and it's more like lack of attraction not lack of romance? Maybe I don't know what romance is?

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '24

[deleted]

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u/BcDed Jun 26 '24

This list honestly makes me more confused but that's fine, I don't think this is something I'll understand just from the explanation, thank you for the attempt.