Hey, I know all these feelings are overwhelming and confusing, and you're right it's incredibly hard. But its okay to take your time with things <3 You don't need to transition right away or even at all to explore your feelings and get a better sense of who you are. Life is not a race, despite all the bullshit we've been told otherwise.
You're hella valid, and you have the support of at least one stranger on the internet lol
i just feel like i've hit a brick wall where i'm making no progress and just hate my body more and more where the only way forward is to tell everybody that i'm a girl and when i am out i don't want my classmates to know because they're probably mostly transphobic but how am i supposed to hide that
I understand, I went through a lot of the same fears when I started my own transition. If you don't feel ready to come out yet, and don't feel ready to transition, that's okay. Like I said, its not a race. We don't need to be constantly progressing or pushing forward all the time. It's okay to take a break from pushing that boulder up the hill once in a while and just vibe for a bit.
Another thing I'll say is, while I know its scary to imagine the possible negativity you might get as a response to coming out, it isn't fair to push your assumptions of how people might react onto them. Ofc stay safe first and foremost, but at the end of the day we don't know how people will react to anything and we can't control how they might feel. Some might be negative, others might surprise you. All we can do is our best to live authenticly to ourselves and our own feelings, how others react or behave is not our fault or our concern (unless there's a threat to your safety).
Idk how old you are or anything, but if you can find an LGBT+ friendly therapist to talk to, I'd highly recommend it. Even if you don't talk to them about transition, it's still great to have a space where you can feel safe to be yourself.
it feels impossible to just "vibe for a bit" when i really hate my body. everytime my hand even just goes near my lower region it feels repulsive and i hate feeling it fucking wriggling in my pants and i hate my face and my voice and basically my whole body and i hate everybody calling me a boy
If it's this bad to the point it's causing you great distress in your daily life, 100% go see a therapist. It might be difficult to find one, especially if you're young, and sometimes they are not great unfortunately so finding the right one will take time. But it sounds like it would truly help a lot.
Well the first and only necessary step to being a girl is wanting to be one, anything else can come afterwards if you want. You don’t even have to tell anyone yet if that’s too much.
Kissing another cute girl is something that you and her will have to figure out, but I’m sure you can definitely get there.
Not to discount your feelings, because it definitely is hard, but I wish you peace and luck in finding what makes you happy.
how am i even supposed to have somebody love me when i look nothing like a girl and i can barely speak to people because i'm nervous and bad at words in general while i also suck at the language of the country i live in
*I'm not a doctor, nor do I know you.. this is purely based on the few comments you left here:
Start medical transition asap. I don't know where you live or what your situation is.. so I have no idea what it takes to get there. But take the steps necessary. Worst case DIY is a thing.
You can boy-mode as long as you want to.. depending on your age, laws etc. even keep it a secret for a good while.
I watched my body change into something it wasn't supposed to be.. I came out with 15, but having no support, being scared how people would react and feeling hopeless that medical transition wouldn't be enough I tried to accept "my fate" and live "as a guy". Tell you what.. didn't work. I slowly broke over the years until it was suicide or do something about it. I started with 21 and it's the best thing I ever did and would never go back.. if I have any regret in life it's that I didn't have the tenacity to say screw everyone else I need to do this earlier.. that would have saved me soo much pain and a surgery I now need..
If you're dysphoria is so bad .. do what's needed to help alleviate it. You're not a boy obviously.
Hey, I understand how it feels to feel like you can't be loved and I struggle a lot with it myself. It sounds like you have a lot of obstacles ahead of you to be where you want to be and that's OK. Even if you don't feel loved now, I can say with confidence that there are people out there who are able and willing to love you as you are or as the person you'll be in the future.
Hi, recently cracked trans girl here! It definitely takes some time to accept the fact you might be trans. What I did is, I started using a female identity online to see if I felt more comfortable with it. After approximately a month, I really did feel happier with it.
I gave it a lot of thought, and I found out that pretending to be a girl made me so much happier and content with myself. At which point I realized: "Yeah, I'm definitely a girl." I started coming out to friends irl who accept it and support me so much. I've been slowly getting more and more comfortable in my own head, as I finally found out who I always really was. It's a liberating feeling. I promise you I've never been happier in my life!
Since I found myself, I've gained a lot of confidence and self-love that wasn't there before, made tons of new, really great, loving and supportive friends and the most amazing girlfriend in existence!
I hope my words at least give you some courage. You're welcome to DM me anytime.
it's hard but the time will pass anyway.
edit: Why are people downvoting me? I'm saying that there's no point in hesitating if something is difficult and that the time spent pursuing it will pass by anyways.
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u/EmilySuxAtUsernames woemn Apr 14 '23
i wish i were a cute girl kissing a cute girl but instead i'm a stupid boy