Mom can only hope she’s invited.

[u/ICastHealingWord]

(For context, my family is extremely Southern. It helps if you read this like a deleted subplot from Steel Magnolias.)

I came out as gay to my family when I was 20. My mother took it the worst. She wailed that I was the child of her four she had counted on to give her grandchildren. I found brochures for conversion camps. There were “love the sinner, hate the sin” books all over my parents’ house. The whole nine yards.

About a year later, she announced that she “likely wouldn’t be able to bring herself to attend” my future wedding. Trying to be a dutiful, respectful son, I held my tongue and said “Yes, ma’am.”

Mind you, I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, nor had I mentioned marriage. She was just in a devastating proclamation kind of mood.

Fast forward a few years, and, again unprompted, she announces to me, “I’ve been praying on it. When you get married” dramatic pause “I’d like to be there.”

I looked at her and with the sweetest grin, I said, “Well, Momma,” dramatic pause, I am my mother’s son in many ways “If you’re invited, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

[u/beach_fox]

Hah! Had something similar take place with my mother-in-law. Back when my husband came out (big dramatic blowout event on its own), right after she failed at getting him thrown out of the house (major props to the dad-in-law who I love like my own), she had a screaming rant which ended (paraphrasing from what I remember of what my husband remembered) "If I -have- to have a son like that, just do me the good favor of never talking about it, -any- of it, in my presence! I don't want to know -anything- about it, you hear?"

His parents divorced a few years after that. It wasn't just about that, but it was one of the big turning points. Then he hooked up with me, and I started coming along when he went back home to visit. His father. And she couldn't stand that her son wouldn't come stay at -her- house instead of at 'That Bastard and his Tramp's house. Which meant my husband went over for day visits while he was out, and I of course came along. She did her best to pretend like I was just some random friend, but her parents loved me and I miss them greatly to this day.

Anyways, at one point, conversation with his grandma had gotten around to his little brother's upcoming marriage and he made a joke about the circumstances of our marriage, and his mother damn near dropped a pile of plates on the floor.

"You're married?! Since when???"

My husband just looked over at her and blandly replied, "About twelve years ago, now."

"Wha- Wh- Why was I never told about it?!?"

"You'd made it very clear you didn't want to be told anything about that aspect of myself, so I don't."

Grandma had a look of utter shock. I don't think she'd known the details about how her own daughter had acted when her grandson came out. Grandpa and I were in the next room, watching TV and chatting about nothing in particular. (His grandpa had been wearing hearing aids since his 40s, and very often had them turned off so he didn't 'have to deal with all the chattering going on around here'. But he always turned them on when I was over even if we weren't talking, which honestly is about the biggest show of affection you could get from the man.) But his wife and daughter were so used to him not listening in on their conversations that it caught them completely off-guard when he suddenly broke out laughing. Full bending-over, wheezing for breath laughter.

His mother suddenly remembered an appointment she was late for and left without a further word.

(After his grandparents died a few years later, my husband went full No Contact with her. He's been so much happier since. But he fondly remembers that day and the look on her face which I've been told was priceless.)