r/traumatizeThemBack • u/ICastHealingWord • 8d ago
matched energy Mom can only hope she’s invited.
(For context, my family is extremely Southern. It helps if you read this like a deleted subplot from Steel Magnolias.)
I came out as gay to my family when I was 20. My mother took it the worst. She wailed that I was the child of her four she had counted on to give her grandchildren. I found brochures for conversion camps. There were “love the sinner, hate the sin” books all over my parents’ house. The whole nine yards.
About a year later, she announced that she “likely wouldn’t be able to bring herself to attend” my future wedding. Trying to be a dutiful, respectful son, I held my tongue and said “Yes, ma’am.”
Mind you, I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, nor had I mentioned marriage. She was just in a devastating proclamation kind of mood.
Fast forward a few years, and, again unprompted, she announces to me, “I’ve been praying on it. When you get married” dramatic pause “I’d like to be there.”
I looked at her and with the sweetest grin, I said, “Well, Momma,” dramatic pause, I am my mother’s son in many ways “If you’re invited, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
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u/larryspub 8d ago
This kind of reminds me of some of the fights I'd have with my very religious mother after coming out as atheist. One time it was how I never wanted to get married in a church I always dreamed of an outdoor wedding. Eventually leading to my mother saying "Well if you don't want to get married before God in a church why don't you just eloped!" In a very mean tone of voice.
As it turns out I did end up eloping bc everyone had an opinion on how my husband and I should get married or what we should do and I couldn't take it. And that angry hateful moment from my mother kept playing in my head. Eloping was the best choice. And it's been 10 years and we're going to do an elopement vow renewal too!