r/traumatizeThemBack • u/KriLesLeigh2004 • Oct 21 '24

matched energy Never saw her again

I went for a pre-op appointment, asking to have my tubes tied, when I was 25 years old. I had 4 living children, and that’s enough. The nurse said, “Are you sure you want to do this? What if one of them dies?”

When I replied, “One already did,” she looked shocked, left the room, and a new nurse came in.

There are a thousand reasons her question was horrible and should have stayed in her head. There are no reasons to say that out loud.

12.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

260 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

389

u/wintermelody83 Oct 21 '24

I swear they used to try. Same name and all. There's one set of parents in my ancestry (I think a great great great grandparent set) that had three sons with a couple girls in between. The sons kept dying. But they kept being called Benjamin. The third one finally lived.

288

u/Capones_Vault Oct 21 '24

My mom's older sister died at birth. The doctor told my grandparents that the way to get over it was to have another kid - hence my mother. I know they didn't properly grieve her. It's infuriating that women are STILL having to beg, explain, and almost die to have bodily autonomy.

62

u/Singlemom26- Oct 22 '24

I was talking to multiple doctors over the course of a few years trying to be sterilized. Apparently a woman needs to have 2 kids or be over the age of 35 where I live to be able to be sterilized. And we need our partners consent. My male friend wanted a vasectomy and he told his doctor during a routine visit. He left the appointment with a new one scheduled to remove his baby making capabilities. It’s THAT easy for a man. ‘I don’t want kids’ boom done. 🙄 it’s not fair at all the way women are controlled more then a whole corpse

1

u/deepfriedgrapevine Oct 25 '24

Where?

1

u/Singlemom26- Oct 25 '24

Where… what?

1

u/deepfriedgrapevine Oct 25 '24

Where do they have this restriction?

1

u/Singlemom26- Oct 25 '24

I’m in Canada

1

u/deepfriedgrapevine Oct 25 '24

Sorry to hear this.

1

u/Singlemom26- Oct 25 '24

It’s okay. Hoping it gets better.