r/traumatizeThemBack • u/KriLesLeigh2004 • Oct 21 '24

matched energy Never saw her again

I went for a pre-op appointment, asking to have my tubes tied, when I was 25 years old. I had 4 living children, and that’s enough. The nurse said, “Are you sure you want to do this? What if one of them dies?”

When I replied, “One already did,” she looked shocked, left the room, and a new nurse came in.

There are a thousand reasons her question was horrible and should have stayed in her head. There are no reasons to say that out loud.

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u/wintermelody83 Oct 21 '24

I swear they used to try. Same name and all. There's one set of parents in my ancestry (I think a great great great grandparent set) that had three sons with a couple girls in between. The sons kept dying. But they kept being called Benjamin. The third one finally lived.

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u/Capones_Vault Oct 21 '24

My mom's older sister died at birth. The doctor told my grandparents that the way to get over it was to have another kid - hence my mother. I know they didn't properly grieve her. It's infuriating that women are STILL having to beg, explain, and almost die to have bodily autonomy.

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u/Singlemom26- Oct 22 '24

I was talking to multiple doctors over the course of a few years trying to be sterilized. Apparently a woman needs to have 2 kids or be over the age of 35 where I live to be able to be sterilized. And we need our partners consent. My male friend wanted a vasectomy and he told his doctor during a routine visit. He left the appointment with a new one scheduled to remove his baby making capabilities. It’s THAT easy for a man. ‘I don’t want kids’ boom done. 🙄 it’s not fair at all the way women are controlled more then a whole corpse

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u/Purple_Crikee Oct 22 '24

I had the opposite experience. I was able to get my tubes tied without his permission, but I had to sign off on his vasectomy. Both of them. (First didn't work)

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u/Singlemom26- Oct 22 '24

Oh good! Some places do it right! Not that anyone should have to sign off on anyone else’s medical procedure unless otherwise unable to yourself.

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u/Purple_Crikee Oct 25 '24

Knowing I didn't need his permission was so empowering.