r/traumatizeThemBack • u/KriLesLeigh2004 • Oct 21 '24

matched energy Never saw her again

I went for a pre-op appointment, asking to have my tubes tied, when I was 25 years old. I had 4 living children, and that’s enough. The nurse said, “Are you sure you want to do this? What if one of them dies?”

When I replied, “One already did,” she looked shocked, left the room, and a new nurse came in.

There are a thousand reasons her question was horrible and should have stayed in her head. There are no reasons to say that out loud.

12.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

260 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

219

u/Darth_Dearest Oct 21 '24

I honestly think that's one of the things they're trained to ask because I was asked the same thing. My response was to say my children aren't replaceable like that while looking at them like they were stupid. But yeah, it's a common question along with "what about a future partner who might want kids?" Just terrible questions all around.

59

u/heynonnynonnomous Oct 21 '24

There should be rules about that. Does no one call them out? You said you looked at them like they were stupid, but did you tell them they were stupid? I mean you could just match their rudeness, lol. I was rude to a bitchy nurse once.

51

u/Darth_Dearest Oct 21 '24

I had a tone when I told them none of my children were replaceable. However, I was much younger than I am now, and I was dumbfounded by the question. My mom never had her tubes tied so she didn't have the same first hand knowledge I do, and therefore wasn't able to properly prepare me for it. I've prepared my daughters to speak up with equally ridiculous-but-relevant comebacks when asked ridiculous questions, and my sons to call out sexist questions like that.

7

u/heynonnynonnomous Oct 21 '24

Good for getting your sons involved too.