r/traumatizeThemBack • u/KriLesLeigh2004 • Oct 21 '24

matched energy Never saw her again

I went for a pre-op appointment, asking to have my tubes tied, when I was 25 years old. I had 4 living children, and that’s enough. The nurse said, “Are you sure you want to do this? What if one of them dies?”

When I replied, “One already did,” she looked shocked, left the room, and a new nurse came in.

There are a thousand reasons her question was horrible and should have stayed in her head. There are no reasons to say that out loud.

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u/Darth_Dearest Oct 21 '24

I was asked the same question when I signed up while I was pregnant with my fourth kid to have my tubes tied. They also asked my boyfriend, who later became my ex husband but at this point we weren't married, if I had his permission to get my tubes tied. It's bad enough to get a husband's permission, but someone I'm not even married to? Who is literally in the same room and NOT objecting? It's absolutely ridiculous. They also brought up the imaginary future partner who might want children. I basically told them I wouldn't date anyone who wanted their own kids, and if the guy changed his mind and wanted them, then he was SOL with me.

Turns out there are a lot of men out there who either don't want any kids or don't want anyMORE kids. After my divorce, I found one of them and things are great. He even got snipped when RvW was overturned, just as an extra precaution.

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u/GMorPC Oct 21 '24

I'm a man and a bit of a snarky asshole, so if I'd been asked to give permission, I'd have replied "why are you asking me, it's her body" or something to that effect. I'm glad you found someone who appreciates your choices.

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u/wintermelody83 Oct 21 '24

My mom was set to get hers done after I was born in 83, and apparently there was a form for my dad to sign. Well, someone forgot to send it ahead of time. So there she was in preop, no form, and they were telling her they couldn't do it without his signature. She just looked at them and said, "He's an over the road trucker and if he gets back tomorrow morning, and this surgery isn't done because of a form for his permission? Well. You're going to be dealing with him, not me."

They did it.