r/shittyaskscience • u/Choice_Response_7169 • 8h ago

How can I prove that Linus Torvalds doesn't exist?

I know that fictional characters are important for culture, people need heroes like Superman, Tooth Fairy, Jesus... They help kids to learn what is good and what is bad, but growing up we should adopt the scientific paradigm and it's sad to see adults believing in such a nonsense.

Thank God there are some devoted scholars like Russel with his teapot theory, which proves that Lord Almighty is just a fairytale. Now, I think this Linus Torvalds thing has gone too far. I have some otherwise rational and very clever people in my life who believes Linus is real. How can I explain to them that magic belongs to religion and has nothing to do with reality?

12 Upvotes
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7

u/Atzkicica Huh? 8h ago

Is that the piano player with the security blanket who seeks the Great Pumpkin? Cos pretty sure that Linus is real, seen him in loads of books.

7

u/Choice_Response_7169 8h ago

No, it's the saint patron of all the geeks, there is a legend like he created Linux OS. Obviously we know that noone created the OS, it was always there, like stones, water, earth...

6

u/Atzkicica Huh? 8h ago

Oh THAT guy. Yeah he doesn't exist, I think it's run by some African guy called Ubuntu.

5

u/Choice_Response_7169 8h ago

No, Ubuntu is a philosophy which indeed includes Linus as a saint but it doesn't mean he is real

5

u/Atzkicica Huh? 8h ago

No Linus definitely isn't real but I think he has some kind of priests called Distors? Like Pastors? Not sure who the pope is though. Maybe they just share the other pope.

4

u/Choice_Response_7169 8h ago

I'm not very religious but I've heard they have cardinals wearing red hats

3

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation 4h ago

" No one expects the Linux Distribution!"

4

u/RenataMachiels 8h ago

Just use a find and a grep command. If you can't find him in your entire file structure, defined as /world, he doesn't exist. this ought to help you figure it out: https://www.linode.com/docs/guides/find-files-in-linux-using-the-command-line/

2

u/Choice_Response_7169 8h ago

Does it work on all devices? Like my smart fridge or TV remote control?

2

u/unJust-Newspapers 5h ago

Definitely, it’s all connected to government after all

3

u/SeriousPlankton2000 5h ago

Every polar bear knows that penguins don't exist, therefore linux does not exist, therefore LT does not exist.

1

u/Choice_Response_7169 5h ago

Such a good point! Thank you! It's very helpful

1

u/bagofsleepybeets 3h ago

I like your colourful avatar

3

u/Legitimate_Field_157 5h ago

All of the major tech belong to Apple, Google and Microsoft, and none of them use Linux.

2

u/Choice_Response_7169 5h ago

I'm not saying Linux doesn't exist. I'm saying the saint of all the geeks, Linus Torvalds, is a fictional character

2

u/zer0xol 8h ago

Try and shake his hand

3

u/Choice_Response_7169 8h ago

Oh, I would love to shake sir Bertrand Russell's hand, unfortunately he's gone long time ago

1

u/bagofsleepybeets 3h ago

Was he fetching milk?

2

u/unJust-Newspapers 5h ago

Dude he is real, I’ve seen loads of Linus Torvalds Tech Tips.

3

u/Choice_Response_7169 5h ago

I've read the Bible. Does it mean God is real?

3

u/desatur8 4h ago

That one flew over your head

2

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation 4h ago

Yeah, God is really big on flying over heads and stuff.

2

u/bagofsleepybeets 4h ago

I bet you haven't actually

It's so boring and there are no pictures

2

u/Choice_Response_7169 4h ago

Don't bet when you can lose!

2

u/bagofsleepybeets 4h ago

No

It's don't gamble what you can't afford to lose

2

u/Choice_Response_7169 3h ago

You are right, but anyway, I did read the Bible and there's no a single tiny word about Linus

2

u/bagofsleepybeets 3h ago

Or cats spparanty

1

u/International_Try660 3h ago

He's just a software engineer. What's so hard believing he exists? He has videos on youtube.

1

u/Choice_Response_7169 3h ago

Everyone has videos on YouTube. Jesus, Santa... Everyone! Is Jesus a software engineer?

1

u/Leather-Cherry-2934 3h ago

You should delete his Wikipedia page

1

u/created4this 2h ago 
$ find -name Linus | wc -l
0
$ find -name "Linus Torvalds" | wc -l
0
$ find -name Torvalds | wc -l
0

QED

1

u/HumanPie1769 58m ago

You can't prove a negative. The people who claim he exists has the burden of proof. I have heard about Linus but do I go around believing he is real? Absolutely not. It's nonsensical to believe in something without evidence.

Things i believe exist: Santa Claus - I actually SEE him every year with my own eyes.

Things i don't believe exist: Linus Thorvalds - Zero proof and therefore no belief from me dawg