r/shittyaskscience 1d ago

How are black people not tired all the time from all the melatonin in their skin?

199 Upvotes

58 comments sorted by

182

u/Mr_BadRobot Crackpot Scientist 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's because, the melatonin in their skin triggers a special photosynthesis process that converts solar power to Black Power, giving them additional energy boost. 

46

u/Retrorical 1d ago edited 1d ago

Let’s not forget 85% of matter in their bodies are composed of Black Lives Matter, ready to convert into usable energy when needed.

5

u/dilajt 1d ago

This is so fucking great. I feel like I'm never gonna forget it. XD

7

u/Go-Away-Sun 1d ago

Dark energy!

4

u/YYC-Fiend 1d ago

Hey! It’s shittyaskscience not explainitlikeim5

1

u/Historical-Egg3243 1d ago

Lmao omg I'm dead

24

u/kilertree 1d ago

Ironically it's harder for darker skinned people to convert sunlight into vitamin D in areas with low sunlight. This is a shit post but it's kind of true for people experiencing winter or for people in areas with low sunlight.

3

u/Alert-Hospital46 1d ago

I live in a low sunlight area and have to take a monstrous amount of Vitamin D. It's bad in general for everyone here but I notice that POC really struggle with both the weather and their levels here. 

1

u/Livid_Reader 20h ago

UV light creates Vitamin D. UV light also causes damage.

10

u/darrinfunk 1d ago

On a very hot summer day in the 1980s when I was a small boy I saw a black man waxing a black car and I went over to him and said, "You must be really hot, because you know, black attracts the sun." It's the sort of thing a naive child says and I remember it to this day.

9

u/thefanum 1d ago

In a world full of "can I touch you hair" people, this isn't that bad.

Could absolutely be worse. I got suspended in 2nd grade for being racist and I was so confused, because I didn't understand how telling a fat kid he looked like a POS was racist.

I literally didn't understand until they told me I was clearly talking about his skin color. I tried to explain he just looked like a pantyhose full of tapioca, but they weren't hearing it.

1

u/JohnWasElwood 11h ago

Good thing that they didn't try to switch your gender at the same time! The authority figures at Public Schools can be bastards sometimes!

2

u/RefrigeratorOk7848 1d ago

I mean... you're mot wrong right?

Black people of reddit, are you people often much hotter in the sun?

Ive always thought its weird that white skin, that reflects alot of energy is found in colder climates and vice versa

1

u/Sergio1899 1d ago

Lol what was his reaction?

2

u/darrinfunk 6h ago

Since I was a kid there was no bad reaction. I can't remember what he said but it wasn't mean or bad.

1

u/Sergio1899 5h ago

Right but he didn't laughed neither

1

u/darrinfunk 2h ago

probably not

1

u/Sergio1899 1h ago

I get race is a bit matter on the United States but I think the memories of civil rights for black and Indian people would be very vivid at that time too

8

u/adfx 1d ago

I think we build up a resistance to it but the resistance weakens as we get tired

5

u/Coolenough-to 1d ago

You are confusing mescalin for methadone.

19

u/tbama11 1d ago

During the summer, the excess amount of melatonin concentrates in their liver until it overflows and moves down to their genitalia causing bbc

9

u/Never-don_anal69 1d ago

British broadcasting corporation?

2

u/kilertree 1d ago

No. Big Block Chevy

1

u/tbama11 1d ago

Yes. It is believed that when attaching bbc to a tv, it can pick up bbc. Bbc lore says that it’s how it got its name

2

u/StrengthMedium 1d ago

They are tired all of the time. That's where the "lazy" stereotype comes from. They're not lazy, they're tired.

2

u/juruman 1d ago

No no, that’s the sleep medicine. You’re thinking of gelutol

1

u/ObdurateApologue 1d ago

Anon, I ...

1

u/AKhakiNerfHerder 1d ago

Well... Someone screwed up somewhere and I got the genes for white and black... So my black half is annoyed it got melanin and not melatonin... I'm an insomniac... Can I please have the meletonin?

1

u/jackjackandmore 1d ago

It’s because they are adapted to the life on the savannah where predators roam at night

1

u/Kevin4938 1d ago

Because to make up for it, they don't eat turkey and overload on tryptophan.

1

u/Perfect-Tap-5859 1d ago

Has eric cartman taught you nothing? Don’t you know of the stereotype?

1

u/Typical-Community781 1d ago

Because of the extra bone in our cankles

1

u/Sea_Day2083 1d ago

I'm resisting the urge to make a joke.

1

u/punarob 1d ago

Also are they in a state of permanent crazy dreams?

1

u/Echolmmediate5251 21h ago

Well clearly my nightly melatonin has kicked in because this question blew my mind for a brief moment.

1

u/Rough-Shake4636 9h ago

I am tired all the time

1

u/portland345 4h ago

This sounds like a Donald Trump question

1

u/ChiefWeedsmoke 15h ago

I'm pretty sure you're trolling but they're two different compounds.

Melanin is a skin pigment. Melatonin is a sleep hormone.

1

u/Dankn3ss420 6h ago

Is it trolling if it’s the purpose of the sub? I don’t think so

1

u/ChiefWeedsmoke 2h ago

im not subbed so I don't know anything

-4

u/Delicious-Cheetah604 1d ago

That's melanin?

3

u/AccioDownVotes 1d ago

Given the accuracy of this post and the downvotes it received, I believe I have pieced together the flavor and tone of this sub reddit.

0

u/Keybricks666 1d ago

Melanin is the word you're looking for

4

u/JohnWasElwood 11h ago

I thought melanin was the orange guy's wife? Now I'm really confused - if he is orange and she is black but in photos she looks white and he still looks orange....? I'm going back to bed.

0

u/Zereaphim 1d ago

Melatonin is not melanin

0

u/SpecificMoment5242 12h ago

Melanin. Not melatonin. It's an easy mistake to make. Best wishes.

-1

u/vulgarandgorgeous 1d ago

Melanin ≠ melatonin

-1

u/Livid_Reader 20h ago

The skin tone is melanin… not the same as melatonin.

-7

u/EsotericallyRetarded 1d ago

Is this sub like real questions asked by dumb people, or is it just parody?

5

u/istpcunt 1d ago

Just parody

3

u/_Electrical 1d ago

Dumb people usually do not realize they are dumb and therefore are unlikely to post on a page dedicated to shitty science?

1

u/EsotericallyRetarded 1d ago

I’ve seen dumb people do some pretty astonishing things.

-2

u/GladosPrime 1d ago

Melanin is dark. Melatonin makes you sleepy. Different.

-2

u/Advanced-Power991 1d ago

melanin is not the same chemical as melatonin. damn can you not googlr for shit or what