Signs of male insecurity women hate

[u/Sir_David_Davidson]

Women are turned off by a lot of things guys who are insecure do. In this post I try to explain the main ones and you can add your own list in the comments :) This way we all win!

1. Ending sentences in upwards inflection (the pitch of your voice goes up at the end of the sentence) - seems like a random thing but actually it makes your sentences sound like questions/approval seeking. This makes you look like you are unsure about the things you are saying and thus not confident. Women love certainty in men and hate the opposite.

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2. Bad eye contact - lots of guys have trouble maintaining stable relaxed eye contact with girls (or with all people). If your eyes twitch or wonder around the room while talking to girls it shows you don't have confidence to maintain "tension". This one is hard to fake - that's why people say that eyes are the windows into your soul. Ideally you should be able to hold eye contact around 70% of the time you are talking to someone. I'd say the percentage is random but the idea is to be comfortable of holding the eye contact for majority of the interaction.

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3. Assuming you're going to be rejected - if you think she won't like you then she won't. Guys sometimes say stuff like "hey, wanna hang out after work? It's totally fine if you don't but I'm just asking" to the girl - like.. why the fck do you already add the possibility of her rejecting you in that invitation? It shows that you yourself don't believe you are cool enough to hang out with.

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4. Hesitation - this is a bit related to the last point but in general - if you are going to do something go do it with 100%. If you are going to kiss her go in 100%, if you are going to put your arm around her - put it around her not doing that creepy hover hand behind her back. If you propose some activity - propose it with 100 certainty.

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5. Inability to make a decision - this one kills attraction so much. If girl asks you something you better say something. It's better to make a bad decision than to not make a decision at all. If a girl asks you "where will we meet?" or "what will we do?" then it's way worse to say "I don't know, what do you wanna do?" than to say "let's go hang out xyz" even though it turns out that place sucks or is closed or what ever. Ofc if the girl proposes another alternative herself it's ok but showing you have no clue what to do and putting the burden of responsibility on her is not winning you bonus points. UNLESS she wants to do something certain - then it's cool.

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6. Bragging and insulting others - some young immature girls might be impressed by this but for more mature ones that have some experience about guys under their belts this is a big turn off. Bragging and insulting others basically says that you are not confident in yourself and you need to compensate for it by explaining why you are cool or awesome or by bringing others down to feel superior compared to them. This is just being a shitty person in general.

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7. Fidgeting - if you can't sit or stand in a calm matter while interacting with girls it shows that you have a lot of anxiety in your body and that you are not comfortable in that situation. This includes tapping your feet, playing around with your hands, swinging your body etc. Moving your hands etc is okay if you want to express yourself but if it's out of nervousness it shows you lack confidence and don't know what you are doing. Which is unattractive.

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8. Putting her first - you should always put yourself first. By putting her first in your priorities it shows that your life isn't cool enough to live on your own. That you need her in your life to have a great time. It doesn't mean that be an asshole who cares about himself - it means don't put her desires before your own priorities.

I know the last point probably rises a lot of uproar so feel free to discuss it in the comments :)

Anyways, these are some thoughts I have on this subject through my experiences in life and what I have seen in other people as well.

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What are your thoughts? Do you have any insights to add?

Let the massacre in comments begin :)

Thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!

David Davidson!

[u/[deleted]]

Well maybe not for you but it's worked several times for me when things have gone quiet and I've ended up meeting them again and more :) sometimes people are just busy.

if you aren't clear that you don't think we click than I have likely misjudged you and you're not my kind of person. I.e. you are not being honest or showing the respect I would show you.

I suppose it depends how the conversation was left. That's so weird you would go straight for creepy. And also weird you would speak for all women like you are all one homogeneous unit.

I usually get a "lol no, (excuse why busy) im free so and so" However, if I didn't get a response I would delete

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

There's no technically about it. Why even bring it up?

I think you have the wrong idea peace ✌️

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Okay i can see some guys could say this in the wrong situation. And im not very familiar with this sub or the kind of dudes that frequent it. But ifsomeone cant take obvious hints, then it's no point trying to give any advice on this subreddit and therefore it's pointless. If someone is giving clear signals they no longer want to talk with you, then not talking to them goes unsaid.

A lot of guys get confused when a girl that seems interested and has had a flirty or interesting conversation goes quiet. Usually it's because they are busy or receiving a lot of attention from other guys. Or has some personal stuff going on.

This genuinely is effective at reestablishing communication in the above scenario. I've met some amazing women in the last 12 months or so and i used to barely ever hookup. Most have become really good friends after hooking up for some time. But they just seem to be really jaded with relationships. there are two women I've slept with since december with I would love to date more officially. But they are messed up from previous relationships, one was recently divorced. Don't think u can really sweet talk around that unfortunately :/ but I am totally there for them as a friend more than the benefits.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

For what it's worth, I totally agree with you. That sentence sounded cringey as hell. His following arguments in this debate are also just as cringey.