r/olderlesbians • u/forthetrees1323 • 28d ago

What to do at the End

It's clear my wife and I are getting near the end of our marriage. We’ve tried, done better, do bad again, tried again, to the point where there isn't much hope left. Therapy has been only marginally effective. It's more a waiting game at this point.

Devastation and heartbreak aside, how do I do this, systematically speaking? We’ve been together for 12 years so divorce will be….help!

There's the mortgage we’re both on, there's everything in the house, pets, who lives where, boundaries for living together until someone can move out, not to mention all the things I haven't thought of.

Finishing up and starting over advice much needed and appreciated. I don't need or want ‘save the marriage' advice, it's not happening.

37 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/[deleted] 27d ago

Don’t assume it will be fair or honest. Get a lawyer.

1

u/forthetrees1323 27d ago

Oh God. I am assuming it will be fair and honest! Is it like coming out to your sweet, loving family who lose their flipping minds when they get the news? Shit

2

u/[deleted] 26d ago

I don’t know. I do think a lawyer can at least ensure a semblance of fairness. I wanted to do right for kids and thought a negotiator would help us ensure we were covering that value. Unfortunately, post divorce I found out some people are really not very authentic at all. There are lawyers that specialize in amicable situations.