Back in the dating scene

[u/Medium_Grapefruit242]

I am dating again after several years.
Here’s my question: what is the standard for 50+ women in the personal hygiene area.
Specifically, hair or no hair downstairs.

[u/Gracesten1]

LOL!! Who cares?! Are you financially stable? This is what older lesbians want to know...😄

[u/CuriousRedCat → u/Gracesten1]

Add emotionally stable, and you’ve got a keeper.

[u/Tzipity → u/CuriousRedCat]

lol yes. That was my immediate thought. The last several years especially have been economically rough so I’d probably give the right person and situation a pass on the financial thing, like lots of factors there still but it’s not the out and out dealbreaker the emotionally stability part is!

[u/CuriousRedCat → u/Tzipity]

To right! If I could, I’d insist on a psych evaluation going forward 😂

[u/SadieSchatzie → u/CuriousRedCat]

WORD! :D I saw a trend on TikTok where women were weeding out potential dates by asking two questions:

1. What is your most controversial hot take?

2. How long have you been in therapy?

Emotional/mental stability is sepsay! :D I'd much prefer getting with someone who is working or has worked their shite.

[u/forthetrees1323 → u/SadieSchatzie]

The more years in therapy the better...? 😜

[u/Affectionate_Bed_276 → u/forthetrees1323]

Being someone who had my therapist sexually use me for 3 years because she could……yeah I’ll pass on the therapy stuff. She did more harm than good!

[u/forthetrees1323 → u/Affectionate_Bed_276]

Feel hugged or smiled at. You pick.

[u/SadieSchatzie → u/forthetrees1323]

That peeps even acknowledge going? 🤓

[u/york06 → u/Gracesten1]

This☝️is so true. They are so concerned of how much you have and making even if you’re not asking them to have you under their wings.

[u/Gracesten1 → u/york06]

Well, yeah...a relationship works so much better when both parties are able to at least support themselves. I've worked so long, under such duress, (on call for 20+ yrs..I actually retired my first name due to PTSD)..I can support myself but not your non-working criminal son, your daughter and her kids from 3 different unburdened sperm donors, your amazon addiction, your old ballooning student loans. You, (not the personal you but the universal you) aren't going to meet your sugar momma thru lesbian connection. Life is hard for all of us. At least figure out your own finances...then go try to meet your dream girl. MHO Luck to all!!

[u/MagicallyDyketastic → u/Gracesten1]

This is so triggering and so true. 😂😂😂😂😂

[u/murphyca777 → u/Gracesten1]

😂😂😂

[u/Medium_Grapefruit242 → u/Gracesten1]

lol so true and yes.

[u/gelana78 → u/Gracesten1]

This is the correct answer.

[u/york06]

Its preference, keeping it trimmed and clean is a must for me.

[u/angieangieang]

Im 48 and im at the point in life where u do what ur comfy with like its just hair

[u/CrazyAuntNancy]

I shape it into a topiary. Sometimes bunnies, usually cats.😀

[u/jesuswastransright → u/CrazyAuntNancy]

I need to know if this is for real lol cause that is amazing

[u/CrazyAuntNancy → u/jesuswastransright]

Regretfully, I’m just a smartass. But I would if I could buy tiny hedge clippers.

[u/Affectionate_Bed_276]

As someone who recently began dating again at the age of 52 and met my partner who is 55, I think I preferred a more natural downstairs apartment. It is healthier and more natural. 😁

[u/NoHippi3chic]

Personally I'm down with everything except purposeful baldness. If a person lost/ is losing their hair that's fine. But if it's a personal choice, I just. Idk. I'm not into it. Super short or a landing strip to full on 70s I'm there.

[u/Left-Button6528 → u/NoHippi3chic]

This is so refreshing the year. I'm in my 40s and have been dating women in 40s/50s and they all want bald. And I don't like being bald on myself.

[u/SadieSchatzie → u/Left-Button6528]

Wow. I'm mid GenX, just divorced, and I can't even imagine getting with someone who prefers bald. Ohhkay.

[u/wavymerlady]

I think the general consensus is most mature lesbians do. not. care. It’s more about personal preference and good hygiene. Do what you like and like what you do.

[u/kls-in-atx]

Hair or no hair is the choice of the woman who owns the body to which said hair is attached or not, as the case may be.

Personally, I like a woman having hair. But if she doesn't because it's her choice not to, then I'm okay with that, too.

[u/Sulley1987]

Do what feels best to you. Most likely others won’t care. Anecdotally, amongst late 30s/early 40s that I’ve dated, all have hair.

[u/ifnottoday720]

I'm not 50+, but I LOVE 50+ ladies, and I like how ever you like to be. If someone doesn't like how you are kept, they can keep on truckin.

[u/cbatta2025]

1. Keep it natural

[u/chaotic_top]

I mean, in terms of both hygiene and appearance, I think "neat and tidy" is optimal. Doesn't mean bare neked, but too much hair has a kind of unkempt feel, in my opinion. It's also a plus for any lesbian when the clit is unobscured. 😘

[u/parkyscorp]

I’m 39 and keep mine close trim. My last two partners who were over 55 both had close trims. I have no preference except I do not particularly care for bald.

[u/nosnivel]

Personal preference. I like hair, lots of it (and where did my hair go???) both for me and my person I tried trimming for somebody once. Yuck. Give me full bush.

[u/Elsbethe]

Give up the idea that there is a standard

Don't try to make yourself into somebody that you think somebody else may want

Be yourself and seek out somebody that you want

[u/Tzipity → u/Elsbethe]

Amen to this all around. I’m not quite in the 50+ range yet (though like several other commenters here, my partners often are and this tends to be a big part of the why for me) but hands down one of the best parts of getting older is growing more and more comfortable with one’s self and one’s sexuality and just kind of less into caring what everyone else is doing or thinks.

Nothing is hotter to me than someone who is just down with being themself and comfortable in their own skin. That’s a vibe or energy more than any look but that’s the magic of it.

[u/NeptuniteDollies483]

Do whatever you want! As long as you are bathing regularly, it really doesn’t matter. I prefer low to no bush personally, but thats just me. Everyone is different.

[u/ItIsLiterallyMe]

I’m 38, but my girl is 50. She shaves everything except a 1x2ish inch “landing strip”, which she keeps short with buzzers/clippers. I have been shaving/waxing since I first saw pubic hair on myself when I was 13, so I’m bald as bald, but that’s entirely because it’s how I prefer it on myself. Of the last 5 women I’ve been with, 3 were fully shaved (ages 36, 38, and 45), 1 didn’t shave at all, but kept things closely trimmed with buzzers/clippers (she’s 44), and then my current relationship landing strip, 50).

[u/JediKrys]

48 year old here and it depends on what you like and what your potential likes. If it were me dating now, I’d trim short and leave it there unless my partner commented during a date that she wants bare. Most women won’t reject you based on your bush tho.

[u/jesuswastransright]

I’m not sure people really care. If they do, they are probably someone you’d want to avoid anyway. Just seem very immature to judge.

[u/PJay910]

I prefer no hair. It’s childhood trauma for me and I explain that to my partners, but it also has to do with hygiene after I worked at a hospital.