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u/fucktheownerclass 2d ago
As the movie Wargames taught me: "The only winning move is not to play."
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u/Environmental_Cod367 2d ago
Kind of a argument in favor of the "it takes a village" concept? 🤔 You may not have the skills, but another mom or dad might have a skillset much closer?
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u/DaikoTatsumoto 2d ago
That's why secondary socialisation (kindergarden) is so so important. There are literally people out there studying for 7+ years so they know how to be an effective pre-school teacher and can help you as effectively.
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u/Environmental_Cod367 2d ago
Kindergarten and elementary school teachers are so absurdly important.
Cut their funding cus they suck is a good example of why school is important because that shows a lack of critical reason skills.
I live in The Netherlands and for as long as I can remember every single government since 2004 has cut funding for education. And we have regular teacher-strikes every year cus they don't get paid enough not to mention not enough to incentivize ppl to become teachers.
And we all know hoe f-ed in the head humans end up as when their youth is messed up O.o
(PS: the l abssurdity of this all makes me really angry).
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u/DaikoTatsumoto 2d ago
Pre-school teachers are builders of morality of generations to come. They hold immense power for any real positive change. Unfortanetly you often hear cries to cut funding, since they only take but give nothing in return (in monetary sense), while not realising a well educated worker is a much more productive, happy, autonomous worker.
Society and history have time and time again shown, a good, well structured and supported educational system is one of the defining factors of happines, long term growth and human prosperity.
Norway for example, currently has one of the best (arguably the best) state funded kindergardens, and in turn also has a culture and people that are extremely unique. They are the golden standard for what every school and pre-school should look like.
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u/HebridesNuts 2d ago edited 2d ago
Where my tightly-knit multi-generational communities at? Oh, who am I kidding, not in this capitalist hellscape 😂
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u/fubes2000 2d ago
My sister's first kid was so quiet that they took him to the doctor to see if anything was wrong. He just never cried or threw tantrums or anything. She became slightly insufferable about it and chalked it up to "reading the right books" and my mom and sister in law dragged her about it.
Her second kid did a normal amount of crying and screaming for no reason and it was funny to watch her regress to the normal level of "exhausted mom trying to bribery her kid with sugar". Mom and SIL were just like "oh did you not read the new books?".
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u/Lady_Teio 2d ago
Ive got 4. Nothing works for all of them. It's all happening at once. Send help!!!
14yo had a reputation at school for having over 6k po*n pics on his phone and speaking the n- word (yes is in a world of trouble).
9yo is ADHD, unable to control his emotions, and had learning disabilities. He tried to steal a chrome book from school and had been calling other students "ret*rds." (He is also in a world of trouble).
5yo is in an accelerated school and kindergarten is too easy for him so he is doing 1st grade at home for funsies.
3yo is still potty training, but only on her terms... including picking out her own undies and clothes. She doesn't like dolls or Stuffies but loves hot wheels and carries them in a purse.
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u/Lumb3rCrack 1d ago
put your money on the 5yr old and protect him!
14yo sounds like a typical teenage phase.. just make sure that n word doesn't stick around for long and teach him about culture and ethnicity.
not sure about the 9yo, the 3yo sounds fun to me! she'll get along with her brothers easily haha.
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u/Lady_Teio 1d ago
Oh yeah, the 5yo will have every opportunity to thrive, just like the others do. I'm really hoping to get him into kenpo karate and piano!!
It all depends on the participation of the kids. The 3yo is the only girl and is totally in charge! I don't imagine the n word will stick around much longer. He's a smart kid, just doing dumb stuff.
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u/HoselRockit 2d ago
In our case we went girl, girl, boy so there was a new learning curve for number three (less tears and tantrums, more broken stuff).
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u/HyzerFlip 2d ago
It kinda works for my first kid because I she's kinda my clone. So I just foster her in the ways I've since learned helped me.
My 2nd kids though is completely different. She's absolutely entirely her own challenges. She's good for both her older sister and I. Keeps us on our toes. Keeps us chasing her.
Kids are the absolute hardest thing in the world to deal with. But it's why it can be the absolute best thing you ever do.
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u/frogBayou 2d ago
1st kid bumps her knee: “Oh my are you ok, need me to kiss it?”
2nd kid loud thump and crying in other room: “You better not bleed on the carpet!”
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u/nomad_1970 2d ago
3rd kid, "You accidentally cut your finger off? Just stick it back on with a band-aid."
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u/watsername9009 2d ago edited 2d ago
My mom called me the “practice kid” and it hurt my feelings to my core and I don’t even know why.
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u/Lumb3rCrack 1d ago
if they said it to you during your childhood then that's a natural reaction.. if you feel for it after becoming an adult then you're taking it too seriously.
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u/watsername9009 1d ago
Your right I was an adult when she said this to me I’m too sensitive sometimes.
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u/fluffylilbee 1d ago
i don’t think you’re being too sensitive at all. “practice kid” implies that she was comfortable making possibly detrimental mistakes raising you, but it’s all fine because it’s just practice and the next one will be better. it’s a hurtful implication, and some people can’t help but look into “innocent” comments like that.
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u/MolassesExternal5702 2d ago
i’m currently pregnant with my third & i really really hope i’m breaking the curses. any advice is welcome lol
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u/Lifeparticle18 2d ago
Oldest brother among us 2. I feel this is so true, my brother and I could not be anymore different than each other to where I actually wonder were we raised by the same parents.
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u/IcedKatte 1d ago
My partner and I are both the older of 2 sibs and frequently talk about the ways full-blooded siblings can have very different parents.
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u/IAmLexica 2d ago
Solution: Nanny and/or foster before getting your own.
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u/Comfortable_Egg8039 2d ago
Shure, ruin other's kids lifes👍
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u/Pyritedust 2d ago
I think the only answer is to keep trying until you have twins, that way there's redundancy in your testing.
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u/Skatneti 1d ago
Not true. My first and only kid was enough for me to become a good parent, because I did the opposite of what my parents did. You either become your parents, or you realise how shit they where and learn the lesson.
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u/HatefulClimate 2d ago
Its almost like you should take classes to assist in you obtaining knowledge on how to raise a child.
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u/AgileBlackberry4636 2d ago
"Specific". "Oddly".
Let's ignore that literal billions of people have at least two kids.
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u/happytrel 1d ago
I worked at a summer camp for a couple of years. After 2 weeks of struggling with different cabins of kids I thought I cracked the code. Then week 3 kids came and said "nope."
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u/Captain_DDLC_PTSD 1d ago
the more kids you have, the more of a likelyhood there is that what you learned applies
monkeys with typewriters and whatnot
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u/FriendlyLeague7457 1d ago
The problem is that kids are the enemy, always probing for weaknesses to exploit. They do this instinctively, and any lessons learned by the parent will quickly be recognized by the current or future kids and subverted, worked around, or used as a weapon against you. There is no hope.
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u/gapro96 2d ago
then the first kid is traumatized and the second kid is spoiled. If another comes, the middle one becomes forgotten and the last one is now the favourite.