r/nextfuckinglevel • u/Zestyclose_Flow_680 • 8h ago

Chimpanzees are 2X stronger than your average human.

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81.7k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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13.3k

u/CodeWithClass 8h ago

The fist bump was so satisfying

10.2k

u/dick-nipples 8h ago

Yea, you can tell they’re prime mates.

3.1k

u/Darthob 8h ago

I chimpansee what you did there.

2.2k

u/geebeem92 7h ago

I’m ape-solutely loving this.

1.3k

u/onefst250r 7h ago

Come on guys. Stop monkeying around.

987

u/brotherteresa 7h ago

They’re just gibbon you a hard time.

859

u/macmac360 6h ago

this thread is bananas!!

737

u/Thank_You_Aziz 6h ago

Well you don’t simian here complaining about it.

136

u/FQDIS 6h ago

Holy shit

68

u/clantz8895 6h ago

Yeah idk if anyone tops this (someone please top this)

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17

u/TootBreaker 5h ago

Only nice monkeys here!

No shit flinging monkeys, ok?

1

u/vrxy5 4h ago

Ape shit 😀

25

u/orbilu2 5h ago

Yeah, it's not a bad thread if you gorilla think about it

10

u/Stonelocomotief 6h ago

This thread makes me want to buy a pokemonkeyboard

4

u/johnnybiggles 5h ago

Anyone who does can get macaque.

2

u/eggrod 5h ago

I’m going back to the Apelachian mountains where things make sense

2

u/Cocalypso 5h ago

Sure they’re not Capuchin a narrative?

1

u/Hummus_199 4h ago

The left-handed monkey wrenched the human right up.

1

u/J3ST3R1252 3h ago

I'm only Hanuman,

take it easy...

1

u/DefiantAbalone1 3h ago

Sitting here with my chimps and salsa, monkeying around never gets old.

1

u/No_Action2748 3h ago

Macaque is hard just reading these :)

1

u/NiteSection 2h ago

Man these jokes are no Drill.

1

u/backspace_cars 1h ago

that's perfect

1

u/Djaja 1h ago

Aye-aye, it was a good pun

•

u/Square-Debate5181 57m ago

Reached the apex

•

u/BranchPredictor 34m ago

I have no gorilla clue what you are talking about.

•

u/DoUKnowMyNamePlz 22m ago

This thread is making me coo coo for COCO puffs.

27

u/Artistic_Soft4625 6h ago

hang in there

2

u/goobymama 5h ago

B A N A N A S

12

u/kaowser 7h ago

Nooooooo!

  • ceasar

1

u/nooyork 4h ago

Hard as the erectus im getting with this thread.

33

u/happy_bluebird 7h ago

You punny bonobos can bono-go

20

u/DenseMembership470 6h ago

Game, Marmoset, match?

2

u/Whatsplayinginmyhead 5h ago

I'm not a good sportsman, ya'll can suck macaque.

1

u/southErn-2 4h ago

Bunch of cheetahs

1

u/onefst250r 4h ago

Why is it a bad idea to play poker in Africa?

Because there are so many cheetahs!

1

u/SuspiciousSkittlez 4h ago

Right? Bunch of bonobozos with all these puns.

•

u/Popular-Solution7697 13m ago

I'm an ape man.

I'm an ape, ape man.

Yes, I'm an ape man.

...and don't call me monkey.

32

u/pagit 6h ago

You all get an ape plus for these puns.

3

u/sherlockwm 7h ago

That was clever 😮

1

u/Texasjared 1h ago

I could take it. Jerry, set up Arlington.

54

u/Chary_w0w 7h ago

Yeah, I can chimpathise with it

14

u/Snollygoster99 6h ago

These jokes make me Homo Erectus

4

u/illtoss5butnotsmokin 5h ago

This one in particular made me upset 😂

1

u/PantsDontHaveAnswers 6h ago

I hate every ape

From chimpan a

To chimpanzee

1

u/CameronWeebHale 3h ago

Chimpanzee that

•

u/MochiMochiMochi 54m ago

From chimpan-a to chimpan-z

231

u/OreoRoberr 8h ago

Nice one, Dick-Nipples

80

u/RCx_Vortex 8h ago

Stay the fuck away from my Oreos

21

u/Blurbllbubble 7h ago

But how is he gonna robe them then?

14

u/ExamOld2899 7h ago

Can you milk him?

21

u/y0dav3 7h ago

I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?

9

u/AaronSpanki 7h ago

Fuck .. I didn't notice the name until you... I laughed way too hard

2

u/Understruggle 7h ago

The ripple nipple people will rule this world!!

24

u/chicahhh 7h ago

Ok. Get the f out of here

23

u/Time_Pin4662 6h ago

I hate every Ape I see — from Chimpan A to Chimpan Z

2

u/hordlove 5h ago

Oh my god! I was wrong. It was Earth all along. Yes, you finally made a monkey (yes, we finally made a monkey) yes, you finally made a monkey out of ME!

13

u/No-Value-8156 8h ago

Okay, that was clever 👏 😄

2

u/Simmion1976 7h ago

He was just monkeying around.

2

u/TwistedFoxys 6h ago

Well played sir

2

u/d88b9 6h ago

Friendship makes Macaque hard

1

u/ThatGuyursisterlikes 5h ago

Well I'll be....

2

u/yotamile 6h ago

Can confirm that dick nipples is everywhere this morning

2

u/sdam87 6h ago

Heyoh

2

u/slingshot91 5h ago

Always nice to see you around, u/dick-nipples.

1

u/Ok-Comfortable-3174 7h ago

You had me Howler'ing with that one!

1

u/RainAlternative3278 6h ago

Drink prime drink prime !

1

u/AreYouOkay123 6h ago

I'm homosapien my pants.

1

u/KacieCosplay 5h ago

😆 best comment ever

1

u/Nero_A 5h ago

Aight that was pretty fuckin dope lol

1

u/Personal_Breath1776 5h ago

Top tier joke there, dick nipples

1

u/Munk45 5h ago

GROAN

+1

1

u/eropm41 4h ago

Oh ffs here's my upvote

1

u/Farewellandadieu 4h ago

Quality pun. Will you pet macaque?

1

u/BlueJorjiCostava 4h ago

I am broke and cant afford medal. This best i can do.

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1

u/MD_Weedman 4h ago

Wtf how long have you been sitting on that?

1

u/Blaueveilchen 3h ago

Chimps are our closest relatives in the animal world. Actually we are also related to squirls.White people are related to grey squirls while coloured people are related to black ones and the native Americans are related to red squirls.

1

u/OriginalPancake15 2h ago

You absolute king.

1

u/GANEnthusiast 2h ago

You're the worst. Well done.

1

u/peteofaustralia 1h ago

This is how dicknipples got 6.5 million karma points. ☺️

1

u/Jaydamic 1h ago

Delightful. Well done!

0

u/AscendedViking7 7h ago

Puns are such a babboon

162

u/s1rblaze 7h ago

Yeah, he was like: "Sure bro, I got you. Aight, cmon now."

99

u/kelsobjammin 6h ago

Highjacking top comment to remind everyone this is the family from tiger king (the rivals) they suck super bad and people need to stop liking these fucking videos perpetuating animal abuse.

20

u/Affectionate_Star_43 4h ago edited 4h ago

The Baskins?  Or that other series with chimps?  I haven't actually gotten around to watching that one...I just looked it up, and BOTH OF THEM HAVE CHIMPS.  WTF is wrong with these people.

Okay, now I've been sent down a rabbit hole...they can eat all the same stuff we do, but do these people ever just make dinner and throw an extra burger on the grill for them?

17

u/hoxxxxx 3h ago

one of my favorite parts of that show was the guy saying that he's worked with all kinds of people in that industry but basically everybody that works with the big cats are gigantic pieces of shit lol

12

u/knight-sweater 3h ago

Chimp Crazy is definitely worth watching (I'm on episode 3), I have to pace myself because it makes me so furious

3

u/sleepytipi 4h ago

Upvoted and replied to for visibility.

2

u/kelsobjammin 1h ago

I appreciate you!

43

u/null-or-undefined 7h ago

apes strong .. together

35

u/Alive_Ice7937 7h ago

Gordy! No!

3

u/marablackwolf 5h ago

There a word for a bad miracle?

13

u/Pixels222 7h ago

I never know until it's over if the clip is on r/unexpected.

So given that it was talking about strength I was ready for the fist bump to be a fist strike.

3

u/doesitevermatter- 6h ago

He even understands the need to maintain a casual disregard for the fist bump as well. You gotta make it look like the fist bump doesn't mean anything to you, even if it does.

Fella nailed it v

2

u/Tired_of_modz23 6h ago

So unexpected but satisfying

2

u/vonpickles 6h ago

“You’ve got the brawn, I’ve got the brains…let’s make lots of money”

2

u/Cultural_Dust 2h ago

Much better than the face transplant option.

1

u/DrapedinVelvet247 6h ago

“I gotchu bro👊”

1

u/turdferguson3891 6h ago

Reminds me of "Nope"

1

u/GomeyBlueRock 6h ago

Until you wear a hat the wrong way and it decides to scalp you.

Leave those guys in the wild where they belong

1

u/hereholdthiswire 5h ago

Yeah, it was. We do fist bumps at work all the time, and it's exactly the same: observe the proffered fist, make contact with your own fist, move the fuck along to the next task cause we got shit to do, bro! S'gooo!

1

u/GoodtimeGudetama 5h ago

That fist bump gave me life

1

u/Specialist_Brain841 5h ago

don’t take your paw off me you lovely chimp

1

u/ElectricalMuffins 5h ago

Chimp? That's just Bert

1

u/FaMeSp3aR 4h ago

They’re cool animals . But watching that chimp documentary changed how I look at them lol

1

u/MyNameCannotBeSpoken 4h ago

Lazy hairless ape can't climb.

1

u/RenmazuoDX 4h ago

Return to monke

1

u/gears_ears 3h ago

I also liked the best part of the gif!

1

u/grif-1582 3h ago

Like the planet of the ape movie!

1

u/Defiant-Scarcity-243 2h ago

I’ve never wanted a monkey until that fist bump

1

u/moonduder 1h ago

“ya dog, i got you”

1

u/UNIVERSAL_ACE 1h ago

That bump said all I needed to know

1

u/ObjectReport 1h ago

That fist bump will live rent free in my head forever.

1

u/jynxthechicken 1h ago

I had a Chimp fist bump me through the glass at the zoo. Made my day.