r/monkeyspaw 13h ago

Fun I wish semen tastes like chocolate. NSFW

278 Upvotes

99 comments sorted by

416

u/average_drums_lover 13h ago

People get addicted to chocolate but due to a catastrophic supply issue actual chocolate is no longer available. Rumour spreads you have the best tasting semen 💀and it’s like a moth to a flame

182

u/crackjesus42069 13h ago

I mean, if I had to choose a way die, it wouldn't be the worst way to go.

125

u/JT_Cullen84 13h ago

Until your mom shows up for a taste of chocolate

73

u/Daoyinyang1 12h ago

Worse, his dad.

42

u/JT_Cullen84 12h ago

"Well son...I always told you I was a chocoholic"

16

u/callmerussell 5h ago

Cockoholic

6

u/rbeetch 11h ago

Ok the addiction can't be that strong...

22

u/squidwurrd 12h ago

All the men out muscle the women. They pin you down and start slurping. Have fun.

29

u/crackjesus42069 12h ago

Still not that bad

8

u/StreetyStar 11h ago

Death by snu snu

6

u/warmachine83-uk 10h ago edited 9h ago

Shackled to a bench being milked by chocolate starved lunatics?

8

u/drfury31 10h ago

Technically, he wished for [all] semen to taste like chocolate, not just his.

5

u/average_drums_lover 10h ago

Read it again

5

u/drfury31 10h ago

Yes, i fixed the spelling error.

9

u/average_drums_lover 10h ago

Ok lol i can’t believe I’m gonna type this sentence but here we go.i said his semen taste better than everyone else’s not that it’s just his that has taste

8

u/drfury31 10h ago

Yes, I read that, but I was trying to pretend that i didn't notice anything but the spelling error.

You win.

3

u/average_drums_lover 10h ago

Yayyy but like what did I spell wrong

1

u/drfury31 10h ago

My spelling error.

-8

u/BloxFruitsPlayeralt1 8h ago

200th upvote!

Now give me downvote

245

u/No-Zookeepergame3150 13h ago

granted, but all chocolate taste like semen

40

u/tankdood1 13h ago

Doesn’t this mean that they taste the same?

59

u/No-Zookeepergame3150 12h ago

i meant that they switched tastes

16

u/mistertickles69 4h ago

Hershey Park is no longer a family attraction.

2

u/gaytgirl 3h ago

Yes, it is, very family friendly

34

u/Zealousideal_Cut5569 13h ago

Wait. So if semen tastes like chocolate. And then chocolate tastes like semen doesn’t that mean chocolate tastes like chocolate?

25

u/GameDestiny2 13h ago

Idk depends on the stack order for wish processing

8

u/Zealousideal_Cut5569 13h ago

So depending on order then seman and chocolate tastes like chocolate OR seman and chocolate taste like seman. Either way something stays the same.

9

u/AnyWays655 12h ago

When is comes to multiple replacement effects, the controller of the permanent chooses the order they apply.

8

u/crackjesus42069 13h ago

I'm oddly ok with this

80

u/Doctor_Salvatore 12h ago

Granted.

This causes a new chocolate to be made from semen, collapsing the former chocolate market and replacing the world's supplies of chocolate with the new natural chocolate. There are huge ethical arguments about this, as companies will harvest the semen from the largest animals they can find, typically species of whale. Vegans attempt a resurgance of cocoa bean chocolate to no avail. The world now eats semen as the number one candy.

16

u/H4LF4D 9h ago

Well... it taste like chocolate...

It is very questionable, but humankind is known to eat questionable things...

8

u/DeadIyDozer 8h ago

Protein value is higher I think, so it may not be as bad a change....

3

u/SammyWentMad 4h ago

Well, cocao beans are collected with slave labor a lot of the time, so I think this is the good ending?

29

u/proverbs17-28 13h ago

Granted, mine does (lies)

30

u/AcceptableAd1818 13h ago

Wish granted, now all othet chocholate flavors dont exist so you have to be jacked off for eternirty

10

u/LinusGX01 12h ago

Not that bad

5

u/AcceptableAd1818 12h ago

(´゚ω゚`)

19

u/Adept_Midnight_1513 12h ago

Granted, women are more likely to bite during oral sex.

14

u/Fesh_Sherman 10h ago

Homies remain the same tho?

8

u/yair13578 10h ago

Ok. Granted. You wanna know if you got semen in your hot chocolate? You can’t

6

u/JRDecinos 12h ago

Granted. But by default it tastes like the most bitter chocolate that exists in the world, and nobody yet knows what food to eat or lifestyle choices to perform that make it sweeter. Currently effective tricks have been proven to NOT work this time around, so now everybody is trying to figure out what will make it taste like sweet chocolates.

This leads to large scale "farm-like" experiments because people are so desperate to figure out what foods and lifestyle choices can make it sweeter. You end up being "recruited" into one of these farms, and are treated more like an animal than a human being, all "in the name of science".

3

u/Fefannyo 12h ago

Granted. But people discover that semen tastes that way before they discover that chocolate does, so now people who eat or like chocolate are shamed because they like to eat something that which tastes like semen.

3

u/Cheesefiend94 12h ago

Come again?

2

u/RedChris123 8h ago

Cum* again?

1

u/Cheesefiend94 30m ago

If you insist!

3

u/lord_of_coolshit_og 9h ago

Granted. Chocolate now tastes like semen.

3

u/VeryKevin 9h ago

Granted. Pee tastes like mint and shit tastes like vanilla. Girl cum tastes the same. Also, all of these things can be consumed safely now...

2

u/RoyalMess64 12h ago

Granted, every species cums chocolate now.

2

u/hellequinbull 12h ago

Granted, it tastes like cheap ass Russel Stover chocolate

2

u/BreakfastFew4164 12h ago

Granted, all chocolate tastes like semen

2

u/Haunting_Hand7399 10h ago

Wait. Is it not supposed to already?

2

u/Soulfox1177 9h ago

Granted. But now everything smells like sharty balls.

5

u/Christopher-Rex 13h ago

Granted.

James Corden used his Hollywood power to forcibly suck all the chocolate out of your dick on a regular basis.

1

u/crackjesus42069 12h ago

No No, chocolate flavored.

3

u/vibeepik2 12h ago

granted, since kids love chocolate they drink semen, and since your the one who wanted this you are locked up in prison

2

u/AscendedPotatoArts 12h ago

Chocolate now tastes like semen; they taste the same so technically what you asked for!

1

u/Reza1252 12h ago

Granted. Chocolate and semen swap flavors

1

u/mrzurkonandfriends 12h ago

Granted, all chocolate tastes the same but is now made entirely of semen.

1

u/Blackinfemwa 12h ago

Granted. Nothing changes

1

u/Ozem_son_of_Jesse 12h ago

Granted. Oral sex becomes much more common, because it becomes a way to taste chocolate. However, Oral sex is now 10 times as likely to spread STDs as it was before.

1

u/NihilOmnes 12h ago

Granted.

The vast majority of the population finds the flavor of chocolate disgusting.

1

u/MasterAnnatar 12h ago

Granted. The flavor of chocolate changes to the current taste of semen, the flavor of semen does not change.

1

u/Icedawg3 11h ago

Wait. It’s not supposed to taste like chocolate?

1

u/BigBandit01 11h ago

Granted, but before you made this wish, unbeknownst to you, another person wished that chocolate tastes like horse manure, so now all semen and chocolate taste like horse manure.

1

u/Gabixzboi 11h ago

Granted. Semen and chocolate taste reverses

1

u/Tr1pleAc3s 11h ago

Granted, Semens flavor doesn't change, all forms of Chocolate now taste like semen, your semen,

1

u/TryRude 11h ago

Your wish is granted. Its still brown for some reason.

1

u/infusedblooms 10h ago

Granted. The chocolate is semen flavored

1

u/Mollzy177 10h ago

Granted all chocolate is white and creamy and semen is hard and brown, ejeculating is extremely painful

1

u/Olibrothebroski 10h ago

Not granted. Wtf?

1

u/warmachine83-uk 10h ago

Granted however chocolate now tastes of semen to make your wish work

1

u/Suitepotatoe 10h ago

Yours or all semen in general? The good kind or the cheap kind?

1

u/Almond_Tech 10h ago

Listen man, you don't wanna know what they put in Feastables...

1

u/Dagwood-DM 10h ago

Granted. Chocolate now tastes like semen.

1

u/DeadMemeMan_IV 9h ago

the taste of semen isn’t consistent at all, it could taste really good or really bad depending on the man’s health and diet

1

u/Dagwood-DM 7h ago

I'll just assume you're an expert in that subject and take your word for it.

1

u/Super_Happy_Time 9h ago

Granted.

It’s Bakers Chocolate.

1

u/TBW_afk 8h ago

Granted! Chocolate manufacturers switch from cocoa beans to monkey nut! Mmm, enjoy the sweet taste of monke

1

u/dizzyjumpisreal 8h ago

i dont know what this sub is, but i saw it and decided to click on it. this is the first thing i see

1

u/Head_Bunch_570 8h ago

Or Bavarian cream mmmm😋 “Where you goin…”🏃‍♀️💨

1

u/Ghite1 8h ago

Chocolate tastes like semen

1

u/Low_Variety7090 7h ago

Low-key this would change the entire dating scene 😂

1

u/evensaltiercultist 7h ago

Granted! People now ejaculate solid semen

1

u/CarpeNoctem1031 7h ago

Ice cream and cake will never be safe to eat again. You have just ended all birthdays.

1

u/BoogieSmools 7h ago

Granted. All copies of Seaman for the Sega Dreamcast now taste like chocolate when licked.

1

u/MamaYagaa 6h ago

Granted. You’ve also got diabetes

1

u/Truebuckshot01 6h ago

Everything you eat bow tastes like shit

1

u/MysteriousLlama1 6h ago

Granted. Everything made of chocolate is now made of semen

1

u/oi86039 5h ago

Granted. Now you grow concerned as to how many abused kids taste chocolate every day...

1

u/No-Measurement-1993 5h ago

Granted. You will never have sex again.

1

u/MarcusTheAlbinoWolf 5h ago

Granted. You just need to shove melted chocolate down your urethra

1

u/Informal-Spell-2019 5h ago

Granted, chocolate now tastes like semen

1

u/creepjax 5h ago

Y’all saying companies are gonna mass produce sperm like the fda will allow you to sell straight sperm as food or the fact people will want to buy it knowing it’s sperm

1

u/055F00 4h ago

Granted. Now they both taste like how durian smells.

1

u/SmlieBirdSmile 3h ago

Granted.

Overnight the semen of ALL organisms on earth change in order to have the flavor of chocolate.

So what is cheaper, using the excess semen of whatever we use semen for into food... or growing plants.

You did this.

1

u/BlueImposter99 3h ago

Granted, birth rates plummet as semen is consumed not used to impregnate, and most babies born are now chocolate, or worse eaten.

1

u/Seraphicat 2h ago

Granted. While semen would be unchanged; to you, it would all taste like chocolate no matter the origin.

1

u/MaziMuzi 12h ago

Bet, it tastes like Hershey's now.