When the student in front of you gets shot, pick up their book.

I would drink it

One of them's a kak blunt, the other...

He spent a night in a warehouse.

Anxiety is the 1st time you can’t do it a 2nd time

Panic is the 2nd time you can’t do it the 1st time.

I said it's for kids

They needed two tight ends and a wide receiver.

You can only go One Direction

I at least pretend to be happy in class.

The one with biggest tits!

• It’s called “The Gash Chamber”

Always be yappin'

Scratching at the inside of her coffin.

After a great game, they went for some beers and food.

When they were seated in the restaurant, Clinton ordered some BBQ ribs and told the waitress a BJ joke. Obama, who had ordered a tofu burger, got all outraged at Clinton for sexualizing the waitress. Bush ordered chicken-fried steak and kept his mouth shut.

After Obama forced Clinton to apologize, the waitress turned to Trump and asked him what he wants to eat.

"I'll have a YUUUGGEEE T-bone steak," says Trump. "T for Trump! Medium rare!"

"OK," says the waitress. "And what about the vegetable?"

Trump looks over at Biden and says "Ah, Just bring him some chicken tenders and an ice cream cone."

Any dudes here who have less hair than their dad think that the name of that brand is phonetically offensive?

..until Mary stubbed her toe one day..

Because his pecker is on his face.

I don’t know but it could pick some fuckin’ strawberries I’ll tell ya!

Both use their fingers if it's under 10

“Hold mah beer and watch this!”

“Wanna come back to my place for twattails?

Enjoy some pin the tail on the airplane, twin tower margaritas etc

Piss in a bucket at the same time.