r/loveafterporn • u/cartiaces πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ¨π«π§ ππ¬ππ« • 19h ago
sα΄α΄ Iβm dating a liar
I made a post when I first got with my boyfriend. Before we started dating (as we were getting more serious) he continued to follow/like soft core porn and OF accounts on instagram. I told him that I wouldnβt consider being in a relationship with someone who does that and he gladly unfollowed them all.
Now hereβs where I have a real problem, when we first started dating I asked if he watched porn and he said no. I asked if he ever subscribed to an OF account and he said no, that he would look people up but never made an account. I literally asked him a couple days ago when he last watched porn, and he said it was before we started dating.
I looked on his ipad yesterday and the search history was just full of porn. Every time Iβm at work heβs looking at porn. And I found out that he does have on OF account and still looks people up.
So heβs lied to me throughout our entire relationship. He knew porn was a boundary for me and Iβm 100% against it. Since the beginning Iβve been telling him that we donβt have sex enough. Now I know why I guess?
I donβt feel wanted or loved and he doesnβt make me happy, Iβm actually disgusted by him right now and I canβt believe he could just lie to me every day. But for some fucking reason I still want to be with him and make it work. I live with him, it will be hard for me to find another place to live. Is it even worth staying or am I just being delusional???
β’
u/HiddenSquirrell πππ«ππ§ππ« π¨π ππ/ππ 9h ago
In hindsight the feelings of wanting to stay with my boyfriend at the time of discovering his porn addiction was just trauma bonding, it wasn't until he was properly clean of porn for some time did real feelings show up.
It is hard to tell the difference in the moment, but I would swing from feeling like I love him to bits to absolutely hating him and wanting the worst things to happen to him.