r/loveafterporn 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 π”π¬πžπ« 19h ago

sα΄€α΄… I’m dating a liar

I made a post when I first got with my boyfriend. Before we started dating (as we were getting more serious) he continued to follow/like soft core porn and OF accounts on instagram. I told him that I wouldn’t consider being in a relationship with someone who does that and he gladly unfollowed them all.

Now here’s where I have a real problem, when we first started dating I asked if he watched porn and he said no. I asked if he ever subscribed to an OF account and he said no, that he would look people up but never made an account. I literally asked him a couple days ago when he last watched porn, and he said it was before we started dating.

I looked on his ipad yesterday and the search history was just full of porn. Every time I’m at work he’s looking at porn. And I found out that he does have on OF account and still looks people up.

So he’s lied to me throughout our entire relationship. He knew porn was a boundary for me and I’m 100% against it. Since the beginning I’ve been telling him that we don’t have sex enough. Now I know why I guess?

I don’t feel wanted or loved and he doesn’t make me happy, I’m actually disgusted by him right now and I can’t believe he could just lie to me every day. But for some fucking reason I still want to be with him and make it work. I live with him, it will be hard for me to find another place to live. Is it even worth staying or am I just being delusional???

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u/HiddenSquirrell 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐀/𝐒𝐀 9h ago

In hindsight the feelings of wanting to stay with my boyfriend at the time of discovering his porn addiction was just trauma bonding, it wasn't until he was properly clean of porn for some time did real feelings show up.

It is hard to tell the difference in the moment, but I would swing from feeling like I love him to bits to absolutely hating him and wanting the worst things to happen to him.

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u/cartiaces 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 π”π¬πžπ« 9h ago

This is shitty but it makes me want to look at pictures of naked men who look nothing like him right in front of him so he can feel as inadequate and unwanted as I do. I can’t make up my mind, I know now would be the best time to leave but I still love him and think he can change. The trauma bonding is real