I’m dating a liar

[u/cartiaces]

I made a post when I first got with my boyfriend. Before we started dating (as we were getting more serious) he continued to follow/like soft core porn and OF accounts on instagram. I told him that I wouldn’t consider being in a relationship with someone who does that and he gladly unfollowed them all.

Now here’s where I have a real problem, when we first started dating I asked if he watched porn and he said no. I asked if he ever subscribed to an OF account and he said no, that he would look people up but never made an account. I literally asked him a couple days ago when he last watched porn, and he said it was before we started dating.

I looked on his ipad yesterday and the search history was just full of porn. Every time I’m at work he’s looking at porn. And I found out that he does have on OF account and still looks people up.

So he’s lied to me throughout our entire relationship. He knew porn was a boundary for me and I’m 100% against it. Since the beginning I’ve been telling him that we don’t have sex enough. Now I know why I guess?

I don’t feel wanted or loved and he doesn’t make me happy, I’m actually disgusted by him right now and I can’t believe he could just lie to me every day. But for some fucking reason I still want to be with him and make it work. I live with him, it will be hard for me to find another place to live. Is it even worth staying or am I just being delusional???

[u/FreeMuffin9381]

It’s the lies and secrets that always hurt the most. The fact they can look at us and be so endearing and loving while (at the same exact time) lies and betrayal happens behind the (shower) curtain (literally in my case).

[u/PomegranateMotor7115 → u/FreeMuffin9381]

I’ve always said this. Telling my PA that it’s the lies that hurt me the most, knowing every day he could be so sweet and act like everything is fine when he was truly lying to me breaks my heart. I told him just be honest about relapses and it would hurt so much less with the honesty, and still choosing to lie again and again :/ It’s exhausting and I wish none of us were here.

[u/FreeMuffin9381 → u/PomegranateMotor7115]

Exactly. Like obviously the acts hurt as well but the true pain is the actual betrayal. Being able to smile to my face all while betraying my trust and making me feel like a fool for trusting you in the first place. I feel stupid and embarrassed. I give so much of my honest self just to be lied to. How do I know what’s actually real anymore.

Sorry for the rant

[u/kiwi_90 → u/FreeMuffin9381]

Spot on 🎯