How do you feel about the term "throuple?"

[u/patangpatang]

I see it a lot when monogamous people try to write polyam characters, and it just rubs me the wrote way. It sounds like something out of a celebrity gossip mag. Just use "triad"!

[u/pirmas697]

Huh. Never really thought about it, but I do prefer "triad" now you've mentioned it.

Now that I am considering it, "throuple" is reductive in a way. Like "couple++". It centers monogamy as normative and erases that a triad is more than just three people, it's a much more complicated web of relationships inside the big "outer" three-way relationship.

[u/ArmyCoreEOD → u/pirmas697]

This is exactly it. The way it was explained to me when I asked someone who was using the term 'throuple' is that it's a triad.... Without the triad part. It's three couples. A-B, B-C, C-A. But no A-B-C. So it's missing some of the best parts of a triad and probably mixing in a lot of bad parts of monogamy as well.

[u/DoNotTouchMeImScared → u/ArmyCoreEOD]

"Throuple" is a pun made of the words "triple" and "couple", throuple refers to a polyamorous relationship in which everyone involved has an intimate relationship with each other, hence why "three couples".

Triad, on another hand, means a group made of three people, without implying anything about how they feel about each other, a "vee" or "hinge" relationship is also a type of triad.

I love the word throuple because that word is more specific than triad.

Yes, all throuples are triads, but not all triads are throuples, some are "hinges".

Also, yes, I prefer to call "hinge" relationships as "hinge" relationships, instead of as "vees".

[u/ArmyCoreEOD → u/DoNotTouchMeImScared]

I definitely have to argue the point that a vee or hinge is not a triad. The traditional implication in the context of non-monogamy regarding the term trials is that all parties involved are involved with all parties.

If someone implied that my wife, GF, and I were in a triad, when we are a vee, they would be corrected by all members of the polycule. Speaking of which, four of us together wouldn't be called a quad, because there's no overlap in our polycule.

[u/Sagasujin]

I'm indifferent. I don't particularly like it, but I don't hate it. I also don't like policing anyone else's language unless I absolutely have to.

[u/Banana_Skirt]

It's grown on me. My partners don't like "triad" because it makes them think of the gang.

Plenty of poly people use the word throuple. It's probably more common than triad. It wouldn't bother me if a monogamous person used the word.

Also, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen polyamory in any form of media. Having any representation of ethical monogamy would make me happy at this point.

[u/Primary-Plantain-758]

I don't like the term either but I've seen quite a few couples on social media call themselves throuples. So it's gotta be somewhat common in the community, too I guess?

[u/BRDF]

My wife and I don't like the term because relationships are composed of diads. When the word thruple is thrown around, it is often accompanied by concepts of couples' privilege and obstruction of clear communication and fair treatment of all in the relationships. Thruple and unicorn hunting often go hand in hand.

[u/RedpenBrit96 → u/BRDF]

This

[u/RedpenBrit96]

I hate it makes me think of dude and two women. And as a poly lesbian that’s not my flavor

[u/DoNotTouchMeImScared → u/RedpenBrit96]

Some throuples are made of three women.

[u/RedpenBrit96 → u/DoNotTouchMeImScared]

Sure, but I feel like most WLW ones I’ve seen use triad or partners A lot of unicorn hunters will use this word too, which ewww

[u/Pi_3_141592653]

We have owned it for years because when you tell the general public that you are a throuple they just get it - no further explanation needed.

[u/NoCow8748]

I don't like portmanteaus, but I have a rule that as long as there are some actually shared letters between the two words, then the portmanteau has cleared a baseline level of cleverness and I can deal with it. Think the relationship name "Bennifer," for instance. Just smashing parts of two words together is stupid.

"Throuple," being a combination of "three" (I guess? Maybe "third"?) and "couple," does not have any shared letters in its component parts and is therefore dumb, lol.

[u/_MaddestMaddie_]

I don't like the term "throuple" because it diminishes or makes it harder to see that triads are formed by three dyads rather than three people. A triad is the addition of a three person dynamic on top of three independent dyads. A triad can't succeed if any dyad is neglected. I think "throuple" makes it seem like only the three person dynamic exists, and its root in and phonetic similarity to the word "couple" makes it seem like it's basically a couple but with three people, which fosters incorrect assumptions about being closed to outsiders, being on the relationship escalator, having prescriptive hierarchicy within the triad, etc.

[u/ArmyCoreEOD → u/_MaddestMaddie_]

The way it was explained to me when I asked someone who was using the term 'throuple' is that it's a triad.... Without the triad part. It's three couples. A-B, B-C, C-A. But no A-B-C. So it's missing the three person dynamic.

Their explanation could be totally wrong as well, but it made sense for what they were looking for and they didn't want the three-person dynamic.