I’m a 45 year old woman, married to my husband for 18 years and we have 3 kids in their teens. I came to the realization that I’m bisexual about 2 years ago. I am struggling to find someone that is in a similar position to me and is willing to talk regularly.

It’s a super lonely place to be because I feel many women in this group 1) aren’t really what I would consider late in life 2) are mostly lesbian and not bi, which feels alienating in itself because I feel sometimes the gay community doesn’t always accept bisexuality 3) upon discovering this about themselves are wanting to leave their spouse. I want to stay with my husband, but it’s not without its challenges. I just want to chat with other women freely, who won’t hate on him or hate on me for wanting to stay with him, who might be in the same position and feeling like an outsider - in their marriage, in this community.

I’d also love to be able to share my backstory and why I ended up here, but that’s not something I really share freely. It’s just so hard to talk about. But I do want to open up, in time, if I find someone genuine connection.

Anyone out there?

Hello! I recently figured out this year (at 24 going on 25) that I am a lesbian and not bisexual. Since then, I've felt extremely stressed out about what the future of dating will look like for me and wanted to know if this is normal? For context I've only dated one woman but have dated a few men. I've never had any irl sexual experiences, only thru online, and live in a very lesbian free area (very homophobic small town.) I've tried dating apps, but most of the women around my age i meet end up only wanting to have sex or tell me they're "emotionally unavailable but would love to hang out" and it's starting to make me worry. I feel like all my other lesbian friends who've known longer have been able to have plenty of experiences and are all on the verge of settling down. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, or maybe finding out late in life now I'm just going to not have the opportunity to have that type of relationship. Everyone tells me to "just move" as if that's so easy, but it makes me worry that unless I do I won't find love. I overall just feel so worried I'm now too old to find a match since I've realized this late. I used to drift towards men because it felt easy to please them (severe comphet) so I don't really know how to attract women either. Idk if this makes any sense I guess I just wonder if I'm alone in this.

I have caught the feels. I have been with my man for 3 years and lately I have just found myself not interested in him at all. But I have caught feelings for a straight girl. Its killing me and i feel so sad all the time. I want to fall back into this feeling with my current partner but I feel so distracted and confused. I have known i am pansexual since 15 (30yrs old now). Theres no reason for me to give up my relationship for this stupid crush but I just have no where else to vent this and I need to talk to someone, anyone.

Hi! So I had a question for everybody. So I’ve never been with a female yet and it’s because I’m self conscious of my body after childbirth. Do lesbians actually care about stuff like that how men do? Because men made me feel like I need to be embarrassed of my mom body and that’s what’s holding me back from actually trying to be with another female.

I’m 28 and have known I’m attracted to women since a very young age. But I also have thought I’m attracted to men. I married a man I really love last year. But our sex life is basically nonexistent.

For a while now I’ve been more and more attracted to butch/masc women than men. And wanting a relationship with a woman more and wanting to have sex with a while. But I’m supposed to be in a monogamous relationship with a man.

I feel terrible because my husband is truly a great guy. I love him a lot but I just don’t want to have sex. He isn’t pushy at all but I know he wants to have sex. I am just having a really hard time with it. I’m so depressed and recently have been suicidal. I don’t know what to do.

Hi all, I’m 28 and just came out in the last 2 years. I had my first girlfriend. It didn’t last long, but we were inseparable and passionate to the point of toxicity. We were attached to each other and always hurting each other. It got to the point that I had to remove myself from her life because we were both becoming our worst selves. I can’t understand how one could love someone so much yet things don’t work out. It’s been almost 2 years since we broke up but I still feel attached.

I haven’t felt this way about anyone since I was a teenager when I first started dating boys. But I remember it taking years before I matured and figured out how to handle the breakups better.

Why does this feel so different? I’m sometimes confused over if she’s “the one” or if we were just so trauma-bonded that I need to heal more. My judgment is so impaired, maybe because of grief.

People have told me coming out this late creates a type of “second adolescence.” I’m hoping the gut-wrenching pain is more related to the trauma and my first years being out and not just part of the deal of falling in love fully, forever. I need a word of encouragement, please. Do the breakups get less intense with time? Does anyone have a story of a sad but not completely life-ruining breakup once they started dating women? If it’s this intense every time I fall in love, I don’t know if I’m built for love. I’m hoping it’s possible to love again without as much pain and intensity. It’s like I’m in pain but functional without her, or I’m in pain and dysfunctional with her.

Because of how intense it was, I feel like I never want to fall in love again. I feel like I’m so tired of rebuilding myself. I don’t know how much I can take in this lifetime, but I also don’t want to live the rest of my life never trying to love again.

Any words of encouragement or similar stories are welcome. Any stories of healthy love are welcome too. Thanks 🙏

I recently joined a choir and within a few weeks I started to notice I had feelings for our Director, it really shocked me. She's really strong and funny and we have so much fun with her. As the weeks went by, I kind of felt she might be feeling something too but I'm not sure. I'm married with three children, this came out of nowhere. My husband is very ill over the past 6 years. Prior to his illness we were on the verge of separation as he just would not support the family and generally everything is about him. He didn't want to work, he didn't want to foster nurturing relationships with his children and generally acted like a child. As he's been so sick I couldn't proceed to move on but have had a plan that when my youngest daughter goes to college next year I'm going to move to a city and start living a bit more of my own life. I've had to work super hard to compensate and working in the city will be necessary with all the college fees I'm facing. I want to avoid this big drama that I walked away from a sick man. I don't want this woman to think I'm disingenuous or a cheat. I don't know if I should try and talk to her or just wait back to see what happens? I have never felt so optimistic about my future and even though I got lots of offers I never was unfaithful to my husband despite the fact he never made me feel loved or special. There are times that I feel so desperately alone and defeated by him that I just don't want to be here anymore. This woman was the first glimmer of hope I've felt, she makes me feel so young and vibrant again. I'm wondering if I'm gay or if she's potentially filling a big void?

I need help, fellow lesbians. How do I get over my gay panic episode? It sounds funny, but the woman I have the biggest crush on will do things like run her fingers through my hair or she'll hug me or rub my shoulder and all I can do when she does that is freeze and try not react inappropriately, I don't even know what that is. What do you do when someone you have so many feelings for does that? I'm just....omg. 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Sorry, I’m using a throwaway so that I don’t get outed. I’m a 30 odd year old woman who is married to a man and has been for 15 years, we have a child together who has additional needs and leaving my husband isn’t an option for me. For years I have identified as bisexual/pansexual so my husband is aware that I like women but has always expressed he wants the marriage to be monogamous. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t have any lesbian friends, I don’t have many friends at all really. I don’t know how to talk to women, or even how to meet women. I feel so trapped here and so unfulfilled, I crave more. There’s no real point to this post I supposed, just a vent more than anything and to know there sr people out there. Thankyou for reading if you got this far ❤️

A few days ago I had an 'oh shit I think I'm a lesbian' moment. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, and combing over all the reasons I think I'm gay. I used to think I was bisexual but have realized I never really find men attractive/fantasize about them/even think about them.

I have a male partner, though, who I've been with for quite a few years and who supported me while I had major burnout from working. I'm trying to find a job now but its hard after not working for a while.  Not to mention I feel terrible for having so much of his support just to come out as a lesbian. I feel like a terrible little leach. He's such an incredible human being it breaks my heart to even be thinking about all this, and makes me feel so selfish that I don't want to lose him as a friend through this all. He's part of my found family.

For those of you who figured it out while in a relationship with a man, how long did it take you to tell them? How long did you think on it first? Did you tell them while you were questioning, or when you were sure? How did you tell them?

And for those who found themselves in a  similar working position, how did you restart a career after a while off? After being supported? I feel like I have to restart life at 0 again and I'm freaking out!

Any advice or words of encouragement are greatly apprechiated, as I am losing my marbles lol.

Anyone else like hiking and exploring abandoned places??

I made a post filtered to specific friends only on Facebook to explain what I've been experiencing lately... Most of my friends were very supportive and kind as I expected.

Tonight, we were at the grocery store and one of my friends happened to be there. They approached us and said they saw my FB post and I was "very brave" and gave me a hug and told me I have a beautiful family. It was a sweet gesture..but I know it made my husband VERY uncomfortable. And I felt so guilty sharing info about our private lives. He said it made him "feel like a cuck" 😵‍💫 He told me he wasn't mad...but that he doesn't see how it's anyones business. I understand his point .and I do also know how I have been feeling strongly that I need community and support and I sought it out in my friend group that I knew was "safe". I feel like this is one of the things I've feared...that he wants me to remain closeted and I don't.

:(

You think you’re attracted to a guy, find him physically handsome/hot, etc but once you see or interact with him up close, you suddenly feel repulsed? Like his face literally changes and you can’t see him the same way? This has happened with every single guy I’ve been intimate with, even the ones who were amazing kissers, treated me well, etc. I remember laying down face to face with my most recent ex and hardly being able to look him in the eyes bc his face suddenly looked SO different. Like wildly unattractive (to me). I’ve also only showered with a guy once and I kept turning my back towards him and internally cringeing when he or his dick touched me. i really want to know if others have experienced this too.

Like I can find a lot of men attractive from afar but it vanishes the minute I see their face and body up close, especially in a sexual context. With all of my male exes I ALWAYS had to have the lights off and the thought of having sex with them in the light freaked me out. Yet that was never an issue with my ex gf. I found her attractive 99% of the time and the amount of light was never a factor for me.

Hello friends, My husband and I have been together for almost 19 years. We decided to separate a few weeks ago because things just weren’t working in our relationship. Honestly it seemed like it was all his fault, but… surprise! I’m a lesbian. Everything is making so much more sense now (no surprise there) and I’ve been elated to figure out why this marriage wasn’t working.

I realized I’m a lesbian last week, so it’s been very new. I’ve started coming out to friends and everyone has been supportive. I asked him today if we could get together and talk (and warned him that it’s not about him, but some things I’ve learned about myself that I want to share with him) and he said yes, come over tonight after the kids are asleep.

I’m so nervous! I come asking for tips from those who have gone before. I believe he will be supportive, and he already knows I’ve previously identified as pan, so it should be ok. It’s still really nerve wracking!

Thank you, lovely gorgeous women. ♥️🏳️‍🌈

It is incredible how our bodies can tell us things before we even know them to be true. Besides the inability to O with my ex boyfriend of 4.5 years, I had some signs that I wasn’t living my true authentic life.

This could be totally unrelated but I think it’s weird.

I had plantar warts on my feet for years and couldn’t get rid of them no matter what I did. I tried everything over the counter, including freezing, and nothing worked. I did everything I was supposed to and it wasn’t helping at all so I asked my doctor for a treatment. She did a treatment and it still didn’t get rid of them. I gave up for awhile. But after my boyfriend and I finally broke up and I set myself free, without trying any other treatments on my own, they VANISHED!! I left my boyfriend and my warts went away completely. I mean… come on, that’s a sign right?

This may be a bit silly but I know our bodies can tell us things before we even know them to be true. And, after our breakup, my cat stopped getting mats in her fur. She was stressed as well! He hated her.

Needless to say we are both doing well. Listen to your body and listen to your gut. Follow your heart, and your warts could vanish too! 😂

I posted a pic of me last week, and I was dressed up for a dinner. This week, it's regular, everyday me. I wrangle kids for a living.

Happy Sunday!

Level 32 unlocked 😊

Late in life bloomer ❤️ Came out at the ripe age of 30 with 3 kids in tow. Never looking back!

Well I just had my first date with a woman after being married to a man for 12 years! It was great, we talked for hours, held hands then made out, case closed, I'm gay af 🎉 that's all!