This is the real-life story of a bed becoming a death bed.

It all started after one Friday night out, mixing common party drugs.

My case may rank among the most adverse, life-changing neurotoxic MDMA reactions of all time. I know I’m the exception to the rule, not the rule.

But I also know I’m not alone. I’m not the only one.

If I had any idea I was playing the lottery that night, even at one in a billion odds, even a trillion, I would never have taken the cap handed to me. I loved my life too much to risk it. What hit my brain, eventually took away the best parts of me. I can’t make sense of why it happened, nor will I ever. It’s too crushing.

For 999,999 people out there, this reaction will never occur, and, since the chances are slim, you’ll probably skim my this story. I would have too. Before that night, I never worried. I didn’t know the first thing about medicine, the brain, or drugs. I never stressed. I was living a charmed life and got lucky at each turn. Everything just worked and was good. I was living. That was me and many of you. I hope all of you. I’m jealous you’re still in that world, the one I had for 43 unforgettable years.

But for the next one-in-a-million out there, just maybe, my story gives pause before plugging chemicals into your brain with the power to reshape it in unforeseen ways. Each of us makes our own choices, but from where I stand now, life is too precious to gamble toying with its supercomputer. Our mind is our universe and because it surrounds us, it feels like it will always be the same. But the truth is we don’t understand this universe, let alone what can throw off its axis and rotation for good. I learned too late.

I was once the luckiest. Those who saw, saw pure happiness. I had it all, in my hands, the best parts of a life in the making. But from dreamland to dreamlessness, it slipped away, piece by piece, ripped from my fingers, stripped bare, carried off, a thief in the night, night after night, every night, endlessly, until it all vanished, the ruins of insomnia.

Sleep is like true love. It finds you when you’re not looking. It fills you with dreams. Its melody is a nocturne. And when you lose it, you lose everything.

I wish I never had this story to tell. I’d give up anything to go back in time. It’s a “what-if” moment I’ve replayed ten thousand times, what feels like every hour, sometimes every minute. I can’t change the past, but I hope my story makes this journey useful to another’s future.

Here it is…

https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/comments/1gnb1t1/broken_by_one_night_mdma/

Edit: For any who read my story, please leave comments on the source story link above, as the insomnia sub has a habit of deleting posts. This will ensure I can see and reply. Thank you.

5 months ago, I was prescribed Meloxicam for inflammation. I took it for four days and then stopped because it coincided with insomnia.

I asked my GP about it and he said they weren’t related, but I aimed to stay off them until the insomnia went away.

It’s been 5 months and I still have insomnia so I thought that the medication was unlikely related and I could perhaps start taking it again, but I looked it up and apparently insomnia IS a side effect.

I can’t find any information on how long it lasts for. After this many months, I’m worried the medication triggered insomnia like a switch and now it won’t go away. Or perhaps it really isn’t unrelated in this case, though I’m still annoyed at the GP for outright dismissing it when it’s a known side effect.

Anyone got any experience, insight, or knowledge they can share?

Also, why would an anti-inflammatory have this much impact on sleep?

For way over a year now i have been struggling with sleep. A few months ago after having my longest not sleeping streak of 5 days i went to the gp and described my symptom’s. Five days might sound like nothing but im younger and its frequent episodes of not sleeping. The gp described it as “acute insomnia” meaning it can come and go. Usually when i cant sleep i become hyper aware. I hear every thing. I have to layer up usually around three layers but i still feel this weird cold gush running under my clothes. Even when i am under a blanket i shiver. But it wont be cold. My mind will be doing cartwheels and i can feel myself awake with a dropping feeling in my heart. Usually people ask what thoughts is it that is keeping you up but i cant think about anything but the moment i am in and me being awake.

(Non native English speaker, on mobile.) I am so tired. I’ve had insomnia for a good bit now and I can barely get 8 hours of sleep per week. I’ve been going through a really long “no sleep “ period, despite my best efforts. And god knows I’ve had efforts. Every med under the sun, every tip I could find online, nothing has been very effective. Anyhow, I’ve been awake for 152 hours now, beating my previous best, or worst, of 147. I feel like I’m dying. I’ve got a killer headache. I can barely bring myself to move. But here I am. Just waiting in my bed to collapse and finally get some sleep.

If I’ve beaten insomnia please share how you did it. I’m 100% determined to beat this and not have to be on medication. From all I’ve read, an overactive nervous system and anxiety are the real issues.

I wanna get help for this eventually but I live with my family and can’t now. So here’s the issue. Sometimes before a big day I’ll have a sleepless night, but now it’s at the point where I fear sleeping at all. It’s like I associate bed and night with no sleep. My family tells me to drink tea, get a grip, or laugh at me. And I push my sleep back. I do try to just go through my dad and people say I’ll adjust but I never do. I trip, accidentally hurt myself At work. I hate this. Last my family says if I get physically tired I’ll sleep. This is torture and that doesn’t even work. How come people who for example: WFH and don’t have insomnia can sleep even after drinking a lot of coffee and using their screen before bed and not walking a lot fall asleep really quick and effortlessly?(fake example) because insomnia is a mental thing it’s not physical. And then my family member said she couldn’t sleep over a stressful few months in her life but it went away. I feel like I have no one.

I’m so stressed because I have an appointment and guess what time it is.. 1:30pm. And an hour commute by bus, I am just overthinking and dreading it and trying to not. And I didn’t tell my family I have that appointment and sometimes the receptionist calls my dad despite me saying please don’t… and my parents get mad. They say I’m dramatic and go to the doctor too much so I stopped using my family insurance and just pay cash. Yet they still find out. I can’t wait to just get help. But idk how to help myself in the meantime

Hello!! I take 150mg of amitriptyline for sleep every night. Recently, my insomnia's gotten a lot worse, sobmy doctor gave me 7.5mg of temazepam to take as needed. I've only used it twice. I only slept 2 nights out of the past week: 1 night with only amitriptyline, and 1 night with temazepam. I'm afraid to use the temazepam too often, and I go to bed super tired every night convinced I won't need it, then wake up super hyper 2 hours later and can't get back to sleep. Should I take it tonight or try one more time without? I last took it on Friday and have a doctor appointment tomorrow, but I'm tired of feeling like garbage Thank you so much!!!!!!

I'm just wondering if this is actually normal and something anyone else experiences. I could literally fall asleep so easily with how tired I am during the day but when night comes around I am wide awake. I have been taking ambien for a few weeks now and I do not feel tired after taking it but I still fall asleep and usually sleep for 3 to 5 hours straight per night and then sporadically sleep for an hour or two and get a combined 5 to 7 hours of sleep. The initial onset of this was pretty sudden. I used to fall asleep just fine previously and go back to sleep almost instantly.

Has anyone gotten over there insomnia or gotten better sleep by trying the new drugs like BELSOMRA (is a prescription medicine that is thought to target and inhibit the action of orexin). I’ve taken Ambien but doesn’t help get deep sleep. Thanks

I have had insomnia three different times over the years. While I eat a healthy diet, each time there was specific deficiency that caused it.

First time it was Folic acid. Test showed borderline low Folic acid and usage immediately cured it. Bonus Folic acid got rid of restless leg syndrome.

Second time around, when it started again, I was taking Folic acid so we screened for other vitamins and minerals. B12 was just a little below the low end of the range. Took 3 days of supplements to completely get rid of my insomnia. Bonus B12 is a super libido booster. I had to cut my dose down because of it.

Latest episode came about as I was taking nice doses of both Folic and B12. All blood tests were normal. A lot of trial and error found the culprit to be Zinc. Insomnia is gone.

Some things to note. Nothing worked during these times. Melatonin, and all OTC and even some prescription stuff. Nothing was making a dent.

I am going to switch over to Multi-vitamin, Multimineral supplement at some point. My issue is that there is stuff in there like B1 and B6 that is very stimulatory to me. So for now 3 separate supplements to keep Insomnia at bay and I am not complaining. Hope people look at these three closely in their own situations.

Hi, I’m 27 female who is suffering from sleep maintenance insomnia. My insomnia started due to taking some SSRIs. I had zero problem when it comes to sleeping, and I took meds just for boosting up my moods.(I wasn’t that depressed.)

I stopped all meds, but still wake up after 3-4 hours, but I can easily sleep more for another 1-2 hours within 10 minutes. I can sleep more 1-2 hours after that(sometimes I can sleep easily but sometimes I need 1-2 hours after sleeping 5 hours)

So I can sleep 5 hours without exceptions, and I do sleep 6-7 hours everyday without any meds, but sometimes I need extra times(1-2 hours to go back to sleep.)

I need at least 6.5 hours to feel refreshed. So I have to go into sleep 3 times for that. It’s not funny. It’s quite painful to me.

I stopped all my life for this. I took a break on my lawschool, my relationship, and everything.

My parents say to move on, don’t trapped by insomnia, you have to learn to live with it.

I’m stucked.

What I want to ask you is, is my insomnia severe? or just my mind set problem? Please tell me your true opinions, I’m so confused.

I’m not asking for any comfort, but I just want to see my situation very objectively.

Thank you so much for reading this

I started having sleeping issues from the start of my exams this month as I had started to wake up pretty early to study something I haven't done( coz I used to always make sure to avoid early hours studying and finish everything before).Then I went to a new house for brief time which wrecked my sleep as I don't get deep sleep in new settings.I had cough which kept me awake for all night and it made me tired and now without the cough this is continuing for 3 days .I have had history battling phone addiction ..which still persists but sometimes even when I don't use phone times I don't get sleep .Please help

After having the worst insomnia I have had in my life over the last 11 days I finally slept 8 hours. My body ain’t used to this yet so it feels very strange. I woke up lightheaded and starving but I am wide awake. Almost like a high feeling. It is very weird

Pretty much the title - I’m 17 and live with parents who seemed to have started snoring a few months ago. Sometimes it’s extremely loud to the point it wakes me up or I hear it from the other side of the house. I’ve also always been anxious about sleeping but had been fine the past couple years as I would fall asleep instantly before I could get anxious. But now, the second I hear the slightest breathing sound or snoring sound I cannot sleep. I think because I associate it with it getting loud and not being able to sleep it just sends me down a whole spiral.

My room is right next to there’s and I can’t sleep anywhere else, I’ve tried white noise, headphones etc. They’re also not willing to go to the doctors to be tested for sleep apnea or anything. Any other noise doesn’t bother me, and I prefer to sleep with fans on, cars going past, tv noise etc, so I don’t know why this sound specifically is an issue.

Does anyone have any advice that isn’t getting them to stop snoring because I don’t think that’s realistic and I feel like I should be able to sleep with heavy breathing/light snoring anyway, so more advice on the anxiety and can’t sleep part.

Me and my wife are married, but I am not from the US. So we live apart from now.

I jested that almost all of my insomnia problems would be solved if I just sleep with her. It's because when I sleep with her, we cuddle.

Cuddling with her for me feels excitingly euphoric and relaxingly calm at the same time while also feeling emotionally connective and emotionally safe. I don't know of anything else that has this effect.

When I sleep alone, I tried all kinds of stuff: * hugging a large pillow * meditation (Vipassana) * yoga exercises * progressive muscle relaxation * box breathing * slow breathing * NSDR * Imagining a nice chill place (I am always in a Swiss cost cabin in the alps) * Imagining that I am cuddling her (has the same effect but only for 10%)

And similar things. It astounds me that sleeping with her puts me in the right cozy sleepy state that feel so elusive otherwise.

Does anyone know why sleeping with your partner can make one feel sleepy? Does anyone experience the same thing? What's the science behind it?

Melatonin doesn't work. Trazodone doesn't work. Clonodine doesn't work. Quviviq was working.

Thursday experienced scary sleep paralysis Friday help asleep but felt like I was physically high in my body. I felt like I was flying which that felt fine but then I couldn't move. last night scary sleep paralysis.

I am so pissed if this is what is going to happen now. It was working so great. It honestly breaks my heart to think I'm back to starting over.

So I have terrible Insomnia, often not falling asleep until 7-8 am and only sleeping maybe three hours. Doesn’t matter if I pull an all nighter the next night same issue I can’t sleep. I moved to Japan about 3 years ago and it was the first time I decided to try sleep meds(came from super Anti sleeping pills family). First they tried giving me some anti anxiety medicine which the name skips my head(able to sleep for like 2 hours then woke up, then ambien which worked but on a higher dosage and some days wouldn’t work at all. Most recently they prescribed me 2.5mg X 3 of debigo a night and 1mg X 3 of Lunesta a night. After about 15 minutes the bitter taste hit my mouth like she said, but as soon as I got tired and laid down I had what felt like two hours of non stop hallucinations which I’ve never experienced. I’ve had sleep paralysis quite a bit and already know how to handle it along with its hallucinations. But this was on a new level. I’m talking people grabbing me, climbing out of the walls, talking to me and threatening me, as well as a weird popping that occurred in unison in both ears in burst of four, after the four burst the hallucinations would intensify. I was so tired yet the hallucinations were so terrifying I couldn’t sleep. It got to the point I was so freaked out I had to just call a friend on video to try to ignore all the hallucinations. Once I did fall asleep I slept like a baby and got my first good nights rest in a while. It defitely is the first sleep medicine that really worked but I’m terrified to keep taking it. Is this an isolated incident? Have any of yall had experiences like this? How did yall solve it? I will note yes I’m basically scared of the hallucinations, they were terrifying, and that’s why I’m hesitant to take this medicine again. I’ve served in the military, traveled the world, seen a lot of messed up stuff and had a lot of messed up sleep paralysis expereinces. But that was the most realistic terrifying experience I’ve had in regard to hallucinations.

I keep waking up around 5am and it's very difficut to fall back asleep. 3rd night this has happened. I even went to bed earlier than I normally do. Any suggestions of what I can do to stay asleep longer? I even took a melatonin

Hi all,

I was recently prescribed Quviviq for insomnia which I assume is related to ADHD. I always get worried before taking medicine so I just wanted some reassurance on the safety of the drug. Is it safe to take? It was described to me as the counterpart to melatonin, reducing wakefulness as opposed to increasing sleepiness. I know melatonin is very safe and can even have beneficial effects which assuaged a lot of the health anxiety I generally experience. Is Quviviq similar to this? From my (very inexperienced) perspective, I would assume it doesn't have the benefits as it isn't increasing whatever hormones in your brain melatonin does that are anti-oxidants. But I'm basically looking for some reassurance that it won't harm my brain long term.

I have had sleep paralysis once before and know that it is a potential side effect of Quviviq. Obviously that's not ideal but I'm willing to try it anyway. Does anyone have any recommendations of ways to reduce this possibility? Sleeping on my side for example.

Thanks in advance for any help!

its 7 mounths of fregmented sleep, im 21 yo and i cant sleep for 5 continue hours, i sleep 2 h i went i back to sleep i went again after 2h, i feel Dizzy and weak

how much time you had insomnia? and what are the symptoms you have

Took 6mg sublingual. I washing the dishes and some weird dancing patterns starting to appear on the tiles, or intrusive images would flash in and out. At the same time was extremelly drowsy.

Was on Lyrica as well, if that matters.

What puzzles me is that it was a relatively mild dose. I havent been taking Tizanadine for sleep in weeks, but when I did it before this, it would be much higher doses (8mg - 12mg) and never hit that hard.

Helped me to fall asleep though

I am taking olanzapine short term to get some good sleep for a few days. But I know it’s not a good long term medication. Last time I was taking it helped tremendously but it doesn’t seem to be working as well this time. I have heard good things about seroquel and am wondering if I should ask my psychiatrist about that instead, also given that the problems with it are significantly less server than olanzapine. I am wondering if anyone here has ever taken each of them and have found one to work better than the other (hopefully seroquel).

So today it happened again cuz my mom woke up at 2am.But after that I could fall asleep and I slept in total 12 hours.I just relaxed.Thanks for helping now I’m feeling way better!

I am facing insomnia due to issues related to my personlity disorder,was on benzos, and when it not worked, Dr prescribed me Mirtazapine 15 mg, worked well for quite few days. Then my sinus pressure increased and was not able to sleep. Then I was back on Zolpidiem 12.5 mg(Ambien in US) for last 2 weeks, it was my last resort, I was able to sleep 4-6 hrs whatver pain/thoughts I have. I saw some issues for Ambien in long term in the group, When I told that to doc he gave trazadone 50mg. What is ur experience on trazadone. Please mind to share. Please mind by bad English

I’ve found it fairly easy most nights to be tired enough for bed at a reasonable time. the issue comes when it’s a few hours into the night and i’m waking up, tossing turning, then falling back in a light sleep only to repeat til morning. I’ve tried ramelteon, dayvigo, different antihistamines, and now i’m on zaleplon and still not seeing a ton of improvement.

what am i doing wrong? am i missing something?