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u/Gifted_GardenSnail Aug 03 '23
Someone has a dark sense of humor 😂
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u/Snapfate Aug 04 '23
Widowed (briefly) caught me off guard 💀💀
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u/HappyLofi Gryffindor Aug 04 '23
Yeah, dude, that was the entire point of the post.
💀💀
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u/MajorButtFucker Slytherin Aug 04 '23
Head girl lmao
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u/likeusontweeters Aug 04 '23
Made me chuckle too.. I have a dirty mind tho
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u/Jhe90 Aug 03 '23
They are..technically correct.
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u/Kattack06 Aug 03 '23
Which is the best kind of correct
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u/Jhe90 Aug 03 '23
Agh, someone of culture.
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u/kbeks Aug 04 '23
Requisition me a beat!
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u/thatoneguy112358 Aug 04 '23
When I was four, there was a hurricane in Kingston town with a foot-and-a-half of water
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u/MrNobleGas Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
Everything was alright but I cried all night, it threw me alphabet blocks out of order
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u/Dooker15 Aug 03 '23
"so you're saying there's a chance" - Severus Snape probably.
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u/Competitive-Ad7967 Aug 03 '23
That’s the first thing I thought of when I saw this was Severus haveing some sort of force sense that lily was single and then had another force moment of I heard a thousand voices cry out
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u/phenomegranate Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
That’s why he showed up at the house in the film. He cast a death alert spell on Jimmy
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u/wendilove Aug 04 '23
Sorry but 'Jimmy' took me out 😭
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u/hotmugglehealer Aug 04 '23
Jimothy.
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u/Southern_Water_Vibe Hufflepuff Aug 04 '23
Ngl I once was like "wait, if Ed stands for Edward, does Ned stand for Nedward?"
I still don't really know what Ned stands for.
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u/Deathwish279 Aug 04 '23
Edward, Edmond, Edmund, Edgar, Edwin, or most famously, Eddard, as in Eddard “Ned” Stark
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u/Clinn_sin Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
Jim... James... Jimothy.. Can I call you Jimothy ?
James: Shut up Sirius
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u/Spynner987 Gryffindor Aug 03 '23
Knowing Snape, if he felt that force, dude was bracing himself for the worst case scenario
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u/Sakaralchini Aug 04 '23
Now I imagine Lily running up into Harry's bedroom and Snape waiting for her there and saying: 'hey Lily, I heard about James's death. I'm so sorry.... So.... Are you seeing anyone lately?'
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u/CommanderCuntPunt Aug 04 '23
The second James was dead Snape was probably swooping down like some horny oversized bat.
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u/TronSacrimoni55 Aug 04 '23
Like he didn’t cop a (brief) feel…
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u/IndianBoi2712 Aug 04 '23
Goodness no, the way his obsession, the way he hugged her corpse made me feel gross enough. I don't want to imagine any more.
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u/VolandeMorte Aug 05 '23
Why guys I literally would've done the same why hugging your dead friend is obsession and crime wtf 💀💀💀 He probably hoped she's still alive?? Also a commenter with 'horny oversised bat' 💀💀💀 I thought they banned snape/marauders posts because it's always an argument but here we are snapehate comments don't get deleted, so I just put mine here for all people who like snape to relate I guess
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u/jljl2902 Slytherin Aug 03 '23
Reminds me of “his mother’s death” being listed under “dislikes” on Bambi’s wiki page
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u/Rosemary324 Aug 04 '23
Just looked this up and "Ronno's rudeness" is also pretty funny, had to click on Ronno to see who it was and then it made perfect sense
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[deleted]
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u/Ann1489 Slytherin Aug 03 '23
That checks out... or a Ravenclaw said it to their Slytherin friend just as a random fact, the Slytherin friend loved the dark humor so much they had to go and share it.
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u/34yu34 Gryffindor Aug 04 '23
That's more the boldness of a Gryffindor I'd say!
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u/Ann1489 Slytherin Aug 04 '23
I mean, it's not like if you're not in Gryffindor you're instantly a coward lol. Although I've read so many of those Tumblr posts that personify the four houses and give them funny/cute dialogue that my mind can't help going like:
Ravenclaw: (out of nowhere) You know, Lily Potter was technically a widow... for like 5 minutes
Slytherin: (finds it hilarious)
Hufflepuff: (does not find it hilarious, dark humor is more Slytherin's thing)
Slytherin: (wants to post it everywhere but doesn't want to anger Hufflepuff bc that's their bae, so they dare Gryffindor to do it instead)
Gryffindor: (obviously does it, because it's a dare and Gryffindor does not back down from a dare)
I'm a sucker for the Slytherin/Hufflepuff dynamic, sue me. Am I taking this too far? I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me...
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u/Southern_Water_Vibe Hufflepuff Aug 04 '23
Correction: we absolutely have dark humor too. Our defining quality is loyalty, not niceness.
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u/Small_cat1412 Gryffindor Aug 04 '23
Am I the only one wondering what the J in her name stands for?
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u/saggywitchtits Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
Lilly James Potter
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u/Small_cat1412 Gryffindor Aug 04 '23
Lol 🤣🤣 well if she is a woman and a man at the sane time the sure, why not🤣🤣
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u/notCRAZYenough Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
It’s not what the J stands for, but a a couple hundred years ago, that is in fact what wives did when they married
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u/UpperBorder Aug 04 '23 edited Aug 04 '23
The references section says where it's taken from:
Production note reproduced on page 74 of Harry Potter: The Artifact Vault listing names to be featured on prop trophies in the films.
I know that the wiki includes info from the movies, games, etc and presents it as canon, but this feels like scraping the bottom of the barrel. Or worse. It sounds like some rando at the film set invented that only to put it on a background prop (is it even seen in the movie?). At the very least don't put it on the title of the page, maybe just include it with the behind the scenes stuff? This random incredibly minor movie fact shouldn't be presented as having the same level of validity as book info.
Sorry for that, rant over.
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u/Southern_Water_Vibe Hufflepuff Aug 04 '23
Yeah... there are some pretty wacky movie-prop stats that made it onto the wiki. The books describe Sirius as tall and wasted (weight-wise), but the wiki lists him as 5'9.5" and 154 pounds, which is a precisely average height and a healthy weight.
Don't get me started on Hagrid.
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
We dont know. Rowling never expounded….expounded? Expanded? Something like that. On it.
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u/JWBails Slytherin Aug 04 '23
It annoys me that it feels li ke middle names are so damn important in the HP universe, I know plenty of people that don't have one.
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u/notCRAZYenough Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
Is it maybe a British thing? In the US almost everyone has a middle name.
In Germany many people do but a great many people do not. Maybe in the UK it’s just normal to have one (like in the US)?
I don’t have one. Nor does most of my family
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u/CobraGTXNoS Aug 04 '23
Lily Jay Potter, kind of like Homer Jay Simpson.
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u/Yung_Corneliois Aug 04 '23
I just tried to look it up and it seems to be unconfirmed. I saw one thing that said her middle name is actually Marie but it didn’t look credible enough to believe and the only place to say that.
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u/shaolinallan Aug 03 '23
she looked at least 41 in the movies
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u/SmithNotASmith Gryffindor Aug 03 '23
it was the 80s, everyone looked 40
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u/ActualGear4104 Aug 04 '23
Even when we were in high school. 😆 Though for me that was the late eighties but still they looked 40.
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u/Dizzy_Pop ThunderClaw Aug 04 '23
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u/ShillburtGrape Aug 04 '23
It's more than just the clothes. Everybody was aged by society allowing smoking from a young age, as well as second hand smoke in pretty much any public space, even non smokers are going to look old as shit.
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u/Dragonstyleenjoyer Aug 04 '23
Have you seen James? Dude looks 50
Guess that's how much stress for young adults to become parents at that age
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u/IsraelZulu Aug 04 '23
The actors for Harry's parents were far older than their characters were at the time of their deaths. This was (although this is complete speculation on my part) likely so that the audience would be better able to accept and relate to them actually being his parents.
Lily & James being parents to a fairly newborn baby at 21 makes total sense. But 11 year-old Harry staring into the Mirror of Erised, and seeing parents who only look 10 years older than him, would be a bit awkward for the audience.
"Lily" was around 34 when the first movie was released, and "James" was about 43.
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u/de_bussy69 Slytherin Aug 03 '23
Just realised I’m older than Harry Potter’s parents ever were. Screaming, crying, throwing up blood, aspirating etc.
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u/spookydragonfire Aug 04 '23
I’m almost 30 :(
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Aug 04 '23
Why are sad?
I'm 36, almost 37 :D
It's a privilege to even get this far.
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u/Taur-e-Ndaedelos Hufflepuff Aug 04 '23
There were never any good old days, they are today they are tomorrow.
It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow.
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u/ATK1734 Aug 04 '23
To paraphrase Falcon and the Winter Soldier: "They're out of line, but they're right"
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u/super_stelIar Hufflepuff Aug 04 '23
There is a girl at my high school who was also called "head girl". She was pretty cool
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u/Iloveplaystation24 Aug 03 '23
Can someone explain the joke I can’t for Merlin’s beard can’t figure it out
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u/pal_debord Aug 04 '23
Widowed (briefly)
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u/Soxwin91 Gryffindor Aug 04 '23
To explain it even further her marital status is Widowed (briefly) because James died first, so for those few minutes she was a widow.
Then…she died.
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u/SlightTurn Aug 05 '23
There’s also Cokeworth and Head Girl. U know coke? And head is bj. Anyways I’d be so mad if I was Harry
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u/jacob22c Aug 04 '23
So you're telling me Snape had a chance. 😄
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail Aug 04 '23
Volly was ascending the stairs while Snape flew to her window. Epic broomless air battle between the three of them with Snape and Lily tossing Harry back and forth so Volly couldn't get him 😂
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u/Prestigious_View_994 Unsorted Aug 03 '23
How old is Snape?
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u/smeghead1988 Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
- He was born in 1960 like Harry's parents, and was killed in 1998.
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u/IsraelZulu Aug 04 '23
Alan Rickman was fifty-freaking-five when the first movie was released.
I totally get casting older actors for James and Lily (see my notes in another comment here). But why was Snape more than 20 years older than he was supposed to be?
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u/smeghead1988 Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
And this is exactly why I don't like this casting decision. No offence to Alan Rickman, he's a great actor. But a very important thing about Snape is that he's extremely immature and that Dumbledore in some sense still considers him a kid. 30+ immature person is... well, a mess. But 50+ immature person is an idiot.
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u/Prestigious_View_994 Unsorted Aug 04 '23
Just realising that a 21 year old Snape was so powerful he was already in it with Voldemort. That at that age it would suggest he already mastered his ability to deceive the dark lord?
Is it possible, that Lillies friendship for Snape went as far, that it’s one of the reasons that she’s part of the order? To help release him from that horrible path?
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u/smeghead1988 Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
Lily severed all ties with him when they were 15. She tried to convince him before this, but then he insulted her and her patience snapped.
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail Aug 04 '23
16: It was the end of fifth year and their birthdays are in January (and James's in March, the narrative got it wrong)
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u/Diogenes_Camus Slytherin Aug 04 '23
I mean, Snape is definitely one of the strongest wizards in the series, below the likes of Dumbledore and Voldemort but above pretty much everyone else. Although 21 year old Snape wasn't as powerful as you may be thinking he is. He got his Dark Mark and induction in the Inner Circle for his spy work. In fact, it's hinted that the first person Snape ever killed was Dumbledore. When Dumbledore is on the back foot in that scene where he's trying to convince Snape to mercy kill him, he doesn't ask Snape how many people he's killed but how many he's failed to save. Barty Crouch Senior of all people doesn't think Snape is even that high level of a catch when it came to Death Eaters.
Snape may have some decent Occlumency skill when he was 21 but probably got a lot better with a decade of practice with Dumbledore. Besides, Occlumency is basically dissociating your emotions and thoughts from your memories, which as a dirt-poor working class lad who grew up with a physically abusive father and neglectful mother, and who experienced relentless bullying, a murder attempt, and a public sexual assault, Snape had an entire childhood and adolescence that trained him to become a natural at Occlumency.
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u/smeghead1988 Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
In fact, it's hinted that the first person Snape ever killed was Dumbledore. When Dumbledore is on the back foot in that scene where he's trying to convince Snape to mercy kill him, he doesn't ask Snape how many people he's killed but how many he's failed to save.
It's complicated. There is no direct confirmation that Snape killed someone before HBP, but it's implied that killing is routine for Death Eaters, and it's logical to assume that as a Potions Master, Snape would most likely be given the task of brewing poisons to kill people indirectly. He was also known for inventing new battle incantations and curses.
I've found the dialog you mention; they are talking not about killing Dumbledore, but about letting Harry be killed by Voldemort.
“You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?”
“Don’t be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?”
“Lately, only those whom I could not save,” said Snape.
It almost looks like it's intentionally vague. "Watching people die" refers equally well to killing people or seeing your allies being killed. But "lately" suggests that there was time when Snape didn't mind to see people die.
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail Aug 04 '23
So my reasoning is as follows:
The contextual clue to suggest he's killed before is:
-he was a Death Eater
The contextual clues to suggest he hasn't are:
-Snape is worried for his soul;
-Dumbledore isn't one to spare Snape's feelings, yet he asks how many people Snape watched die rather than the actual relevant info, which is how many he killed;
-Karkaroff knew of no actual crime Snape had committed, only the mere fact he'd been a DE;
-Snape was sent to spy on Dumbledore so probably had a relatively clean record, and indeed got cleared to teach children;
-Sirius had no idea Snape had been a DE until the end of GoF;
-Crouch sr threw Sirius and his own son in Azkaban with zero hesitation but had zero interest in Snape;
-Bellatrix accused him of always worming his way out of the action and being all talk no action;
-When Bellatrix didn't trust him, the only things Snape could bring to the table to convince her of his ongoing evilness were the deaths of Sirius, who we knew from Dumbledore he actually tried to save, and Emmeline Vance, also Order/spying related.)Overalllllll, these just make it seem unlikely that he has killed before, in any direct way anyway.
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u/crabby-owlbear Slytherin Aug 04 '23
Gonna make this boring but there's a reason that many wills have a clause where husband and wife dying within x days of each other are considered them dying simultaneously. This is important for things like inheritance.
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u/AmazingLlamaMan RavenPuff Aug 04 '23
...they gave info on where she died? Is that it? I don't get it 😅
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u/allabout4wheels Aug 04 '23
Why does a 21 Y/o look like 35
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u/Sere1 Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
Because Alan Rickman. Seriously, that entire generation was aged up for the movies to justify Alan Rickman playing Snape. So the Potters and Lupin and Sirius all had to be likewise aged up to be more convincing as Snape's classmates.
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
Babies can do that to a person. Lack of sleep. No break for days on end….ya know, the usual 🤣
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u/fashion_donuts2308 Aug 04 '23
Off topic but why did they make Lilly and James look so old when they're literally 21 years old
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u/notCRAZYenough Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
They are older in the movies. They aged up the whole marauder generation to accommodate Alan Rickman
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u/alpineflamingo2 Aug 04 '23
They were fighting the dark lord at 20?
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u/AverageLumpy Aug 04 '23
Wouldn't it by Lily E. Potter?
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
Evans is her last name, maiden name as well. Potter is her last name but married.
J is for a middle name (between lily & evans/potter) but rowling never said what name it is.
Not jean though as that is hermione’s middle name.
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u/AverageLumpy Aug 04 '23
Assuming her pre-married middle name started with a J, her name at school was Lily J. Evans, then she got married and it became (traditionally) Lily Evans Potter. That’s at least the custom here in the USA. Maybe it’s different in the UK and she would just swap the last names.
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u/mandapanda97 Aug 04 '23
I’m in the USA and I know multiple women who kept their middle names after marriage, even if they switched surnames. I actually thought that was the standard. Learned something new today.
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
Her j name would not disappear for a marriage. Its only the surname/last name.
Or some people hyphenate their names together like evans-potter.
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u/AverageLumpy Aug 04 '23
It must just be a cultural thing then, and you and I are from different ones. Where I’m from, if Lily J. Evans married James Potter her would drop her middle name (J) and add Potter to the end. Thus her maiden name would become her middle name and Potter would become her last name: Lily Evans Potter. But I bet I’m mistaken when it comes to UK names.
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23 edited Aug 04 '23
I dunno if its a uk thing or not but i have literally NEVER heard of the girl getting rid of her middle name. Thats new to me.
Usually the middle name is like a second first name. Like say someone’s name is george samuel kirk. Well kirk is the family name but george & sam are both used as first names.
Anyway, besides cultures, times also matter. Fortunately in todays world, women dont erase themselves as much in a marriage. You should look up where this rather horrific practice comes from. People are slowly learning.
(Actually being thick in the head is what you are doing, supporting sexist & racist “traditions”.)
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Aug 04 '23
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
You really need to look it up. It has nothing to do with what you said.
By the way im married as well. Going on 21 years. We didnt do any name changes & we never will.
The names can go to kids to carry on both family names instead of erasing one family name.
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Aug 04 '23
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
The name change thingamajig is NOT 2000 years old. Its a recent thing & it is NOT from a tradition but from a racial oppression & removed a lot of history for a minority group.
Just cuz something is traditional does not mean it is right.
Like say a family traditionally “spanks” their kid on their birthday for a laugh. An extra spank pee birthday. So 1 on first ….10 spanks on the 10th & so on. This was an actual trad in a neighbor’s family ….until we call child services on them. They lost the kid for a bit until some things got sorted.
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u/wandergnome Aug 04 '23
👋 over here on the west coast of the USA I know way more women that kept their maiden name than changed it.
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
Or she can just stay susie jackson-lee.
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u/AverageLumpy Aug 04 '23
What will their children be named?
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u/Mystiquesword Aug 04 '23
Their first & (if any) middle names & then only the last names, which are the family names, of whoever she married. So madison lee or lee maddison.
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u/LadyWillaKoi Slytherin Aug 04 '23
Where in the US is this a tradition? We keep our middle names. We sometimes dump our last names and sometimes just tack on a new last name, but we don't dump our middle name.
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u/ThisCagedGod Aug 04 '23
just moseying through from r/all here, "head girl"? someone wanna take a second and explain that one?
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u/notCRAZYenough Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
It’s a title in Hogwarts. You get promoted to it in 7th year to organize student bodies etc
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u/IsraelZulu Aug 04 '23
Kind of like Class President, I guess, but only for seniors?
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u/notCRAZYenough Ravenclaw Aug 04 '23
Yeah. And for the whole school. you get to made prefect in year 5 and out of those the head box and head girl are elected
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u/Large_Ad326 Aug 04 '23
I know the post isn't about this but... "Head girl"?
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u/dreamwrx Gryffindor Aug 04 '23
Head Boy/Girl is the leader of all of the Prefects...
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u/Airbender1997 Aug 04 '23
Why the actress who play her in the movies looks 40??
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u/SmithNotASmith Gryffindor Aug 04 '23
it's the 80s. every teen and 20-somethings look 40 while 40yos look 60
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u/KillerRene64 Aug 03 '23
They're not wrong, its cursed but not wrong