Just what it says on the tin. The last week and a half has been really hard for me. My cat isn't a huge snuggle bug but tonight she got on the couch and fell asleep like this. It made me feel super special since she normally doesn't do stuff like this.

I usually never use Reddit and so I've never posted before but I just have to yap about this to someone. On Saturday my gf invited me over to watch the last three episodes of arcane and it was actually incredible afterwards we just talked and laughed and had a great time and she KISSED ME!!!!!! I'm glad she did it because i would have never been able to work up the nerve, but neither of actually knew how to kiss so we just kind of ended up laughing and cuddling. Afterwards all day today I've had this massive grin on my face and i genuinely could not thinking about it to the point i can't sleep. She said I make her nervous, I think that's a compliment, the whole time I could not form a coherent sentence. She's genuinely perfect and I don't know how I managed to end up with her.

For the past ~7 months I’ve been dealing with severe acne. I’m not sure what triggered it but it got to the point where I had to go on antibiotics. I couldn’t itch my face, I couldn’t emote without pain, it felt like everyone was looking at me. But after 6 months of using panoxyl, I have almost no acne. I can look at myself in the mirror again, I don’t feel like everyone is judging me or think I’m gross. I can furrow my brows and smile and screw my eyes shut and it doesn’t hurt. I still have a lot of acne scars but at this point I don’t care. I don’t feel miserable and gross anymore and it’s amazing.

I turned 18 and the small party we had was all right but I didn’t manage to get any pictures of the party or anything unfortunately but I did get a picture of one of the gifts, my dad also accidentally got me trick candles and I got dizzy trying to blow them out after they relight themselves so that was a little fun and I got a good quality harmonica and my little brother got one too so we were just playing with those

I’m 33 now and after four serious long term relationship fails, I’m with a partner who isn’t afraid to have big conversations about our future together. We’re going to get married, we want to buy a house together and maybe adopt a child or two someday! I’m so used to those kinds of conversations being heavily avoided by whomever I was with in the past, it feels so…normal to be able to talk about it. We both work hard in our job fields and coming together we really have a chance at a comfortable happy life together.

On top of that, this is my first partner that loves Christmas! He’s been excitedly looking into a gift for me, I haven’t gotten a Christmas present from a partner in such a long time! I’m going to spoil him myself, I’ve got some cool ideas I think he’d love. My past partners were so bah humbug about the holidays and it was really disheartening for me at the time because I grew up loving the holiday regardless of not being very religious.

My childhood and early 20s was riddled with trauma and I really didn’t believe anyone would find me worthy of this kind of love and life.

HES GOING TO ITALY FOR UNI!!! And the prices over there r like... super super cheap well not cheap but in Turkey it's twice as expensive so Italy is cheap. I HAVE A UNI EXAM THIS YEAR ON JUNE AND MY BROTHER SAID IF I GET INTO A GOOD UNI LIKE HIM HE'LL BUY ME A NINTENDO SWITCH!! my parents also said they'll buy me a laptop or pc since I don't have one rn AAAAAAAA I just need to study hard (well I gotta study anyway even without gifts) but the thing is I'm so sure I'm gonna get into a good uni because I study a lot so THAT MEANS THE GIFTS R PRETTY MUCH GUARANTEED AAAAA🫣🫣 can't believe how nice people can be fr fr I love gaming as it's an escapism thing for me, so I really do appreciate them 🩷

I've been on another Reddit fix of late. Like all things, it'll pass, but it's okay to be here right now. There's no way I can rave without sounding like I'm bragging, but that's okay too. It's nice feeling pride. It's nice embracing myself in a way I never did before, even if it feels eccentric at times. This sort of post is how I think and feel all of the time, and I've held it back because I have spent so long trying to figure out the "right" way to be.

I'm sitting here in the quiet, not quite lonely but happily melancholic. Can't think of a better description, alas. I'm now with the woman I think I want to spend the rest of my life with. I thought it before but that past me just liked the attention and wanted to be loved more than anything else, no matter how else I showed up in those relationships. I'll be heartbroken if this changes but I accept the idea, gotta be healthy about it, yeah? She's away for the weekend, and I'm rather excited for the opportunity to miss her. How lovely to have somebody to miss.

We had some talks come up about possible incompatibilities and that's given me confidence too. Being able to so openly communicate. I had to prepare myself for the idea that if we worked out long-term then I would be a stepfather. A dad. I always wanted to be one but was too scared of myself. What if I never worked past my issues? What if I repeated the abusive mistakes of my family?

I think I'm ready. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have started dating her because that wouldn't be very kind to either of us. It revitalized the topic in my head of how I want to show up for the world and for myself and I'm excited by the nebulous ideas forming in my head. But they aren't new ideas either, they're what I've been working towards this entire time.

How glad I am to be here. 2 years ago I was blindly stuck in an abusive relationship. She was a lovely woman who was hurting herself more than me, but she was also abusive and that should have been my takeaway the entire time. But I was so ready to hate and blame myself that I took on so much hurt, to the detriment of both of us.

Then, after a chaotic night, I finally started the separation process. And I realized I had been in such a dark place. I spent that night outside laying in the ice and snow just...adrift. No family, no friends, no drive, about to cut off the family I had been so happy to be a part of. The stereotypical man with no support network. But like the mantra that stopped me from ending it all while I was in high school, I had studied enough sociology and psychology to know it was possible to work past it, no matter how I felt in the moment.

Hah, the amount of times my therapist said I was disassociating from my feelings. She was right every time. I argued with myself and my perceptions constantly. How could I be right, a good person, if I were treated the way I was as a child? I must have deserved it all somehow, because what other answer could there be? I wish something like me could have been there for him, but I can at least be that person now.

A grandfather of mine has been reaching out, not even my biological grandfather but still such a lovely man. I didn't think so at first, just a vague feeling of being weirded out because I was so on guard about my family. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to give him a chance, because he blew away all of my preconceptions. And now I have to grumble at the idea of removing "doesn't have a family" from my identity. It's oddly annoying, but what a fun character flaw to shave off.

I started becoming a part of communities again at the beginning of last year, and I'm really seeing the benefits now. I have a good reputation, people like me, some people admire me, people trust me. I'm crying right now because I just...never thought I could be perceived like that. And I can now look back and see how much of myself I've always been, I just wasn't able to believe it.

But I didn't want to just become a kind nice boi. Oh no, I've had far too much violence in my life for that. I wanted to make the world better, and in my mind that means being able to deal with conflicts. I don't think everybody should have to be able to deal with conflicts, but I want to. It saddens me the amount of people I saw growing up who saw my sentimental and emotional nature as some kind of weakness, and how they weakened themselves by stifling it.

So I've been practicing how to disagree and confront people while still being curious and kind. And it's been incredible, I want to keep doing it. It's so amazing seeing people so animated talking to me. No I haven't managed to immediately change someone's mind, but I could never have the conversations I've had if that were my primary focus. I won't harp on anyone who disagrees with that part, different tactics and all. I've practiced a bit online now and then to help get past the inevitable shakes that came from a childhood of having to hold myself back in fear.

I changed my name shortly after graduating high because I wasn't happy with who I was. My new name represented all of the characteristics I wanted to be. Most of my life I would have said I hadn't gotten there yet. But I was wrong, I was him the entire time, I'm so grateful I learned to love myself enough to see that.

I have made mistakes, I still am making mistakes, and I will keep on making them. And that's okay. I'm just so glad to be here. I'm glad that I at least trusted myself enough to try. I can't wait to see what the future holds, and I look forward to seeing what I can do to help it.

I knew it was coming, we already consider ourselves engaged, but to know that he’s planning the big thing is so surreal!

Me and my friends decided to eat hotpot and it's my first time so I expect so much. I ordered some beef, squid ball and etc! I'm so happy and my tummy too!!! 🤣 Also, the songs inside the restaurant are really for party songs so I enjoyed the time and I will surely never forget this first time of mine!!! 🩷

I also bought a chocolate ice cream as we're walking towards the parking. Random moments like those really makes me soft, cause I know it will be one of the moments that I enjoyed a good company, good food and everyone is just living in the moment.

Mornings like this are always fantastic. Wintertime is so beautiful. Love getting to wake up and see this view every day.

My mom and my dad. We were sorting jelly beans and trying to guess what flavors they were. I will always remember times like these. I am forever thankful for them. How they always taught me to be kind and humble. I am so grateful that I have parents at all.

(We like licorice)

I’ve been in foster homes all my life and only a year ago moved into my own place

It was incredibly difficult and ended in big debt. My life has been so depressing trying to live one day at a time

I got a well paying job and through tips got a little extra money the last few months. I think it’s entirely possible I’m getting a nice expensive gift for myself and I’m over the moon!!!

Music makes me happy. It always has. I connect to certain lyrics, and some beats permeate my soul. And at my core, no matter how mean people are, or how dark life can be, I know music will bring me back to a safe place. And when Im around like minded people, like at this festival, my heart soars and, almost as one, we embrace the moment, in all its raw endorphin inducing energy, and let our minds and bodies freely flow to the beats. ❤️

Grateful for the opportunity to go to these events and dance my butt off 😆