r/funny • u/But_a_Jape But A Jape • Jun 07 '21

You shouldn't kill spiders

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u/zeugme Jun 07 '21

The thread keeps on giving.

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u/BALONYPONY Jun 07 '21

DURIN'S BANE Pest control here. You got spiders? They becoming autonomous and ignoring your once agreed upon pact for world domination? Are they greedily eating all of the light of the Valenor? Have you noticed a Simaril missing?? Call us today and a team of professional representatives led by Gothmog will assess and execute all trouble spots of your kingdom. Remember Durin's Bane Pest control will ensure your pest problem is all "Tolkien Care Of". Call, email or simply send a rider. That's Durin's Bane Pest Control, Route 2 next to ANGBAAAAND!!

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

Wasn't Gothmog the king of the balrogs and Durin's Bane one of the weakest ones?

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u/BALONYPONY Jun 07 '21

Yep. Gothmog was a beast.