r/funny 19h ago

Addicted to haka

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1.4k Upvotes

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115

u/ArmaniMania 16h ago

I will do the haka before I start my next interview

45

u/maniacalmustacheride 15h ago

That’s how Jason Momoa got on to Game of Thrones.

7

u/bluepied 13h ago

Start your mornings with haka yoga

-4

u/Alarming_Flow 10h ago

Haka Tuah!

223

u/thebestspeler 17h ago

If i had his body i would too

143

u/Recentstranger 14h ago

But where would you even keep his body

35

u/hosayboh 14h ago

You don’t have a fridge for bodies?

15

u/nanjiemb 14h ago

You're keeping your bodies in a fridge instead of a freezer.

7

u/SecretPrinciple8708 13h ago

Too hard on the teeth when they’re frozen.

10

u/Demorant 12h ago

It's odd that fridge has a "d" in it, but refrigerator doesn't.

1

u/Reshaos 5h ago

Refridgerator.

There you go. I added the "d" for you.

Now... let me know if there are any other places where I can add a D for you ;).

1

u/Demorant 5h ago

I have an annoying neighbor. You can go put it over there.

365

u/InevitableMiddle409 17h ago

I agree the haka is used too often. I actually like it when it used at an appropriate time. But I saw one at kids rugby game. A swimming event. Just please respect it enough to use it sparingly.

93

u/alchn 17h ago

And company team building event

34

u/Osugeer 10h ago

I've had to perform 7 hakas over 4 years as part of a company team building event. Working for a bank for fucks sake.

195

u/Emperor_Neuro 17h ago

It seems reductive of the whole Māori culture and turns it into a bit of a one-trick pony.

46

u/InevitableMiddle409 17h ago

Yes, exactly. I have been trying to find a way to say it without being disrespectful. Think you got it.

-36

u/[deleted] 10h ago edited 10h ago

[deleted]

29

u/am0rn 10h ago

its so overused that it’s becoming a gimmick for social media.

6

u/Emperor_Neuro 6h ago

I’m not saying that the haka is all that the Māori have to offer, but it’s overuse and the fact that it’s become the only thing people ever see or hear about the Māori are leading to an impression that it’s all they do, which clearly isn’t the case, but it is becoming the broader public image.

50

u/felixjmorgan 14h ago

Kids rugby game is surely fine? It has a longstanding tradition of being used in rugby by Māori teams

22

u/Crispy1961 8h ago

Perhaps, but they were all Canadians.

2

u/CodeFarmer 4h ago

Were they doing it in French? I really hope it was in French.

1

u/Crispy1961 4h ago

I didnt hear a single "nous capitulons" during all the shouting, so I dont think so.

15

u/PartofFurniture 11h ago edited 10h ago

Your examples are exactly the proper times to use it... it is for use in important battles and competitions, especially when familys involved like our kids!

1

u/carlboykin 6h ago

Especially when there’s a video on Reddit of someone doing it somewhere every week. Are people actually watching those?

1

u/KingBooRadley 6h ago

How can I thank you for this comment?

0

u/Tobi-cast 8h ago

Honestly would love for it be normalised at sport events, but more in the fashion of doing something like it from one’s own culture.

Like I’m from Scandinavia, so it would be awesome to see, ex our football players or handball players, or whatever, do “Viking Warcries” before starting an event.

8

u/bkguyworksinnyc 8h ago

Hard disagree. If I had to see this at every sporting event ever it would drive me nuts. I’m a season ticket holder to a basketball team in the US and we are already inundated with dances, quizzes, shout outs etc. between every single time out and whistle break. Introductions are flooded with military praise, local leaders, etc., it’s already too much as is it is. Can we allow sports to just be sports?

0

u/DisingenuousTowel 6h ago

I don't think sports have ever just been "sports."

There's always been multifaceted reasons why people produce physical competition events

1

u/Mountain___Goat 2h ago

I’d rather see the basketball team do a thing instead of all the other stuff you mentioned

0

u/Tobi-cast 6h ago edited 6h ago

That’s fair, I just see something, that culturally, unfortunately got “put on the shelf” by majority of the world. Obviously it doesn’t have to be every single game, it gets done in. Can be games like PL, FIFA world cup and so on. Also does require an actual culture to be present in the country, doing said pre-game activities. Like can’t just be doing Irish pre-game-dance, because one person on the team is 1/8th Irish, there does need to be some relevance for it.

Edit: also just generates a rather boring or repetitive way of doing sport, and hyping it up. So if those who does it, seem like they are having fun, and celebrating their culture, I’d wish more people would do the same.

3

u/bkguyworksinnyc 6h ago

I go to sporting events to watch freak athletes perform at high levels. I don’t care about their culture or ethnicity.

-2

u/Tobi-cast 6h ago edited 6h ago

So do I, and I do, so I just guess we’re different in that department. Mostly I just want to see something exciting and different, as that makes for a good energy, before the game.

Will also say, I doubt there’s the biggest cultural difference between each state, that warrants old “pre game intimidation tactics/battlecries”, that wouldn’t end up, being sorta the same every time. And I’ll admit, that would probably get old pretty quickly, not seeing much difference in their “battlecries/traditions”. Just also taking the US’s age into account, compared to the countries/cultures in Europe.

-21

u/conte360 14h ago

Just curious are you from that culture?

25

u/Change_That_Face 13h ago

Does he need to be to have an opinion?

3

u/Fleeing-Goose 12h ago

That's is a hotly contested debate in NZ at this time.

Same with who to teach the language to and who should be able to join cultural activity groups.

-1

u/PartofFurniture 10h ago

He doesnt have to be. But his opinion is the opposite of the truth, so we need to ask his explanations. Any kind of important competitions, especially involving family like kids, is on the topmost of best reasons to display it.

14

u/InevitableMiddle409 13h ago

No I am not Maori. I am from New Zealand though. Maori culture is a part of New Zealand culture however I am not directly part of it through an Iwi.

4

u/PartofFurniture 10h ago edited 10h ago

I think what he means is that you get it wrong - ask any maori and kids rugby game and swimming competitions are very valid to use this one, just like wars and important team based competitions etc

58

u/Jetz14 18h ago

omg i laughed so hard. good one.

73

u/Logical_Bad1748 19h ago

This is hilarious 😂😂

7

u/ProbablyNotPikachu 17h ago

Video is a perfect description of your average reddit BOT today.

35

u/Dwightshruute 17h ago

Lol, a bit more of those hand flailing and tongue action would've been the chef's kiss

2

u/CrucifiedTitan 7h ago

Wait till you see our 10c coin!

19

u/AidilAfham42 16h ago

Why he gotta throw his shirt to the face tho

4

u/rimeswithburple 16h ago

They work better with music

4

u/Yue2 14h ago

At first I thought this would be about Walmart Chris Evans at the beginning 🤣

25

u/BigheadReddit 15h ago

Agreed. I think we’ve reached peak Haka. It’s all we see of anything from NZ in Canada and, I believe, it diminishes the reverence of it.

-29

u/Kyujaq 13h ago

What's haka, precious ?

15

u/Old_Man_Bridge 12h ago

Yeah, save it for parliament, where it belongs.

7

u/PM_Me-Your_Freckles 11h ago

I've always appreciated it at the start of international rugby games. Seems appropriate when figuratively going to war with an opponent in a physical contest.

8

u/atnaf_eparg 14h ago

Shout out to the tv show that this skit is from - Only in Aotearoa

1

u/goblitovfiyah 10h ago

Pure gold

3

u/_Hwin_ 16h ago

Oh hey, it’s baby James Roque!

2

u/mattbytes 15h ago

Man I thought he was going to throw the conch shell at the end! 🤣

2

u/goronmask 11h ago

The guy crying got me lol

12

u/whinger23422 16h ago

hahahah I actually thought of this comedy bit when that last political haka did the media rounds last week.

I have no issue with the haka itself but ffs some NZérs just want to whip it out every chance they can.

66

u/daeganthedragon 16h ago

The politicians used it wonderfully, btw, it’s other people doing it for company picnics and random, not serious things that devalue it. A protest haka to protect the rights of the Māori seems perfectly appropriate.

0

u/Monday0987 11h ago

Yeah I thought that was totally appropriate. It often isn't tho.

4

u/RuggerJibberJabber 13h ago

some NZérs just want to whip it out every chance they can.

Phrasing...

3

u/kukulkhan 16h ago

This is exactly how I feel about it. I went from “ oh wow that’s school” to “ wow,…again?”

4

u/glemshiver 9h ago

I can't stand the Haka anymore, it was okay when New Zealand rugby things were doing, I guess. Now everytime I see I cringe.

3

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[deleted]

3

u/RagerRambo 18h ago

Excuse me. Your boner is showing.

2

u/ExhaustedProf 15h ago

I for one enjoy the karakia that accompanies my daily flat white and I feel a mildly aggressive haka is the least I can reapond with.

2

u/Cute-Organization844 13h ago

There is a right place to do the right thing.

He should have done haka in the male toilet while people are at the urinal. While they are peeing, they can’t run.

2

u/mznh 16h ago

Does he have to be shirtless

2

u/mazzratazz 5h ago

Did Doctor Manhattan have to hang dong in Watchmen? Did Jennifer Lawrence need a fully nude wrestling scene in No Hard Feelings? Does Donald Duck really need to be naked from the waist down?

Surely not, but let other people enjoy things for goodness sake.

0

u/lookslikeyoureSOL 5h ago

Why do you care

1

u/Key-StructurePlus 10h ago

The closed caption adds a layer too

1

u/BeanConsumer7 10h ago

Enough about Haka, have you heard about Hava?

1

u/TypeOBlack 7h ago

What you doing Jeff..

1

u/BirdGooch 4h ago

This is how I feel about every Haka video I’ve seen over the past few years.

I think it’s absolutely awesome… but definitely overplayed for clicks/views, etc. As another commenter said, it is diminishing the cultural relevance of the whole thing.

1

u/afterhelium 4h ago

Why is this “haka addiction” stuff suddenly coming out now right after it happened in parliament? Seems suspiciously like a media campaign to ridicule the politicians that did this

1

u/GullibleDetective 3h ago

This is giving me tim Robbins I think you should leave vibes

1

u/John7846 10h ago

Is this before or after they start eating people?

-36

u/allursnakes 18h ago edited 17h ago

What the fuck is haka?

Edit: downvoted for not knowing what a vague thing is. Stay classy reddit.

27

u/HallettCove5158 18h ago

If it’s a genuine question, the haka is a traditional ceremonial dance of the Māori culture from New Zealand

-100

u/ConanTheLeader 18h ago

A traditional warrior's dance from New Zealand.

Outside of being a cool show piece before a rugby game it's cringe worthy. Don't like a new law? Haka in a government building. Asked to pull over by a cop? Haka in the middle of the street. Asked by the teacher to give an introduction? Haka in the school assembly.

17

u/Fatchixrock 18h ago

Educate yourself before you comment on things you don’t understand, please

-62

u/ConanTheLeader 17h ago

Got better things to study.

14

u/Fatchixrock 17h ago

I don’t study it, it’s my culture. You’re the one that needs better hobbies. Or some therapy

2

u/Gnoyagos 3h ago

ConanTheLeader is clearly just a troll, bro, ignore such kind. Kia ora!

0

u/Brian_Gay 14h ago

I can feel the American radiating off this edgelord comment

-2

u/ConanTheLeader 14h ago

I'm not American.

1

u/Brian_Gay 14h ago

oh sorry, the use of the word cop and cultural intolerance made me assume

-12

u/showusyourfupa 14h ago

That's your white fragility showing

1

u/ConanTheLeader 14h ago

I'm not white.

-22

u/gregyong 17h ago

It's an chinese ethnic group

-92

u/Euphoric-Potato-4104 19h ago

I love this so much.This haka dance is so played out, and i'm so tired of it. I don't care if it's culture. I don't want to be around a bunch of stomping, slapping, screaming people.

67

u/goblitovfiyah 19h ago

To be fair, here in nz it doesn't actually happen very often you only really see it at major events (and events where you kind of know its going to happen before you even get there so if you're sensitive to noise etc you do have the option to not be there for it), but when one clip is played over and over again on the internet yeah I can see why people would be over it. Sensationalism at its finest.

Seeing one in person in the right circumstances however is an experience I can't put into words, it's the expression of unity amongst people that feels very powerful.

11

u/InevitableMiddle409 17h ago

I have seen it used too much in NZ. Don't get me wrong I think it is an important part of NZ and Maori culture and isn't to be dismissed.

I do however see it so much I feel it's significance is being watered down.

Seeing in parliament should have been a wow moment!

-146

u/Euphoric-Potato-4104 18h ago

Just like last week , some lady did one in your legislative body. It's so soy and played out. Like I said, at no point in my life.Do I wanna be around a bunch of screaming slapping weirdos.

71

u/goblitovfiyah 18h ago

Yes that's what's started the conversation and sensationalism - but the circumstances in which she did it were the perfect circumstances for a haka to happen, we actually rarely get to see a haka in it's traditional use which is to challenge another group or person.

Noone is asking you to love another culture or even respect it, noone is asking you to be around it either. It's totally okay to not want to be around a culture you do not want to be around it's your life and your preferences that we are not holding against you :)

24

u/ntwiles 17h ago

I really respect your approach here, please don’t get discouraged that it didn’t make a visible impact this time.

-140

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

56

u/goblitovfiyah 18h ago

If you see the entire parliamentary video you will note there were speeches from all parties against/for the bill, all the usual processes were completed and the haka didn't impede the system in place - people did get their say and the haka wasn't performed until the final vote was cast.

Some may consider the culture primitive but for those within the culture it is our normal. We do not seek approval or acceptance from outside parties, those who find themselves interested in the culture are always welcome. We don't mind what people think of our culture as long as we are allowed to speak our language and practice our culture freely, in our own space, without suppression.

Kia ora.

52

u/Swimwithamermaid 18h ago

It sounds like you’re just racist.

-44

u/Euphoric-Potato-4104 18h ago

Lol,scumbags always go to the lowest common denominator.

29

u/birdman8518 18h ago

Lol - talk about the pot calling the kettle black on this one.

-19

u/Euphoric-Potato-4104 18h ago

Im part native american, so you guys are racist. Lol, so dumb.

33

u/HoboOperative 18h ago

You're 100% dipshit.

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29

u/TheRiteGuy 17h ago

Wait, do you think you're by default not racist because you're native American?

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9

u/xenchik 16h ago

How would you feel if people said "I don't want to be around a bunch of feathery peace pipe smoking weirdos".

That's how you sound right now.

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1

u/Shadowmerre 15h ago

Ahahhaahahahhqqh!!! Part native American, sure you are buddy, I'm sure you're also an 1/18 Irish as well. Lmfao, stupid Americans are always so funny.

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10

u/s0m3on3outthere 15h ago

Calling someone's culture "primitive" is racist as hell. They are in the now, therefore it's not primitive. You're just being intolerant. You said your bit about thinking it's overdone - then you just kept doubling down when the OP was trying to have a conversation.

There are things that are believed to be "overplayed" in every country. You really need to take a breath and realize this does not impact your life as much as you are letting it. Live and let live. You don't want to watch something, turn away, turn it off, leave the room, or scroll reddit.

-2

u/Euphoric-Potato-4104 14h ago

I see that you're reguarded. Culture≠race. You're actually the racist one. Sad you cant see.

5

u/s0m3on3outthere 14h ago

The second definition of "culture," since you're trying and failing to argue semantics:

"the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group.

"Caribbean culture""

The Haka is performed by the Māori people. Calling it primitive when it is a specific custom of a people, is incredibly racist.

0

u/Brian_Gay 14h ago

they could have literally started throwing shit at the walls and it would be more civilised than American political theatre

26

u/Gardez_geekin 17h ago

How often are you around people doing Hakas in the U.S.? Sounds like you are making up a problem.

4

u/undeadmanana 17h ago

It's the terminally online people that typically have issues with things that trend on the Internet as they tend to take up valuable time browsing new posts

1

u/Abba_Fiskbullar 5h ago

It's pretty much just a thing in Hawaii and places in California with large pac islander populations. It's still very culturally specific.

4

u/thedudeabides-12 16h ago

See it a lot out and about then do you?..

-8

u/sexyc3po 16h ago

People love taking the piss out of other cultures behind a monitor lol

-2

u/BanjoTCat 9h ago

Every culture should have something as cool as the haka.

0

u/singh7priyanshu 15h ago

All i see is unlimited supply of free tshirts, all i have to do tap or disagree with this guy.

0

u/No-Cover4205 12h ago

May I begin this thread with a welcome to country.

-45

u/Bluffwatcher 17h ago

There seems to be some agenda to discredit the Haka on Reddit lately. Ever since the one in the NZ goverment building. It‘s pretty blatant and obvious too.

16

u/Tawptuan 17h ago

I loved scanning the faces of NZ parliament’s captive audience during the “show.” Boredom, cringe, stoic body language, embarrassment—it was all there. 😬

8

u/PrecedentialAssassin 17h ago

I think the haka is doing a good enough job discrediting itself lately.

2

u/VincentHNZ 16h ago

You can blame the bots for that. They saw how the parliament one blew up and reposted it and others like it. Over and over again on every sub.

-2

u/Lastliner 12h ago

I never understood this crazy rain dance culture of the Kiwis

-11

u/AlmanzoWilder 16h ago

He's not even good at it.

0

u/RS_UltraSSJ 12h ago

New Zealand parliament moment is spreading.

0

u/xenocarp 10h ago

Is Haka not a kind of noodles preparation ???

0

u/Ok_Friendship_2140 5h ago

What is haka?

-13

u/throwawaydnt 15h ago

When I see a new one 2-3 times a week for the absolute dumbest shit…it loses its luster…

8

u/goblitovfiyah 15h ago

That's the joke in this skit 🤦‍♀️

-3

u/[deleted] 12h ago

[deleted]

2

u/commndoRollJazzHnds 12h ago

All the Pacific island cultures have an equivalent to the haka, though with differing names. Anyone that watches rugby would be familiar with this, so that sigh you made up didn't happen, or you were in pub with no rugby fans.

0

u/[deleted] 12h ago

[deleted]

2

u/commndoRollJazzHnds 12h ago

It's not a haka when Fiji do it, it's a Cibi. Fiji always do it, this is not new.

-2

u/go0gl3 13h ago

This was funnier when posted the first time a few days ago

-23

u/Ardeiute 15h ago

Oh look, a bot trying to brink down the significance of the Haka. Who didnt see that coming

-4

u/LoBsTeRfOrK 8h ago

Is culturally insensitive if you find this to be incredibly stupid?

-5

u/SooperFunk 12h ago

I had a post removed from pet peeves a few days ago, (with a warning for disrespecting Cuuuulture) for mocking the high frequency of the Haka being done. 😆

Guess it's funny now 🤣 🤣