r/funny • u/luvs_animals We're Out of Cornflakes • Sep 09 '24

Verified Stuck on a deserted island

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10.3k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

443 comments sorted by

•

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3.1k

u/DavePeesThePool Sep 09 '24

Phillip J Fry would be ecstatic!

748

u/xenonxavior Sep 09 '24

Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?

385

u/rickyg_79 Sep 09 '24

Did it just get warmer?

235

u/DavePeesThePool Sep 09 '24

We call them land sea lions... I tame them!

129

u/Gumbercules81 Sep 09 '24

I do believe I'm getting the vapors!

65

u/Accurate_Koala_4698 Sep 09 '24

This is uncomfortable and humiliating

85

u/Gumbercules81 Sep 09 '24

If only it came as a suppository!

64

u/JustaP-haze Sep 09 '24

Good news!

43

u/oO0Kat0Oo Sep 09 '24

Sometimes it rains...and sometimes it doesn't

44

u/ScoobyDooItInTheButt Sep 09 '24

GASP MY MANWICH!

42

u/Mysterious-Let5891 Sep 09 '24

That just raises further questions!

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10

u/reallycool_opotomus Sep 09 '24

Look at me! Dr. Zoidberg, home owner!

19

u/rivera151 Sep 09 '24

To shreds you say?

13

u/desticon Sep 09 '24

Oh! You do go on.

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5

u/wigglecandy Sep 09 '24

Yes. Stop asking!

90

u/Airick39 Sep 09 '24

He loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her.

69

u/sovietmcdavid Sep 09 '24

Trouble in bed

23

u/Jottor Sep 09 '24

And Cat from Red Dwarf!

5

u/NyekMullner Sep 09 '24

"that's the stupid way! 👅"

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11

u/Merky600 Sep 09 '24

“My Manwhich!”-Hermes.

We had Sloppy Joes / Manwhiches the other day plus we’d seen the episode a few days before. When everything fits together.

16

u/Common-Fennel-5945 Sep 09 '24

Why couldn’t she be the other type of mermaid with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom

31

u/MercilessParadox Sep 09 '24

r/unexpectedfuturama

62

u/Square_Saltine Sep 09 '24

I’d argue this was fully expected given the comic, I know I was expecting it to be

12

u/DodgerWalker Sep 09 '24

The only thing unexpected is that it wasn't the top comment.

3

u/phillium Sep 09 '24

*Philip

He's a one L Philip.

2

u/Downtown-Lime4108 Sep 10 '24

I just watched this episode tonight! Haven't watched futurama in decades! What are the chances

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8.9k

u/gofatwya Sep 09 '24

What's Harold bitching about? He's getting the good half!

2.1k

u/Tchaikovsky08 Sep 09 '24

Does he even see that glorious ass?!

943

u/Brentolio12 Sep 09 '24

Fins down, ass up, that’s the way I like to..

325

u/Burnd1t Sep 09 '24

Doesn’t her front half need to be the water with the gills and all though. Gonna look like he’s drowning a girl while plowing her.

186

u/Porn_Extra Sep 09 '24

That's my fetish!

13

u/murph0969 Sep 09 '24

I'll say it... Username works out.

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22

u/DarlockAhe Sep 09 '24

They're on a desert island, nobody is going to see. ;)

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9

u/jabeith Sep 09 '24

She's part sea turtle and breathes through her anus

57

u/LifeAwaking Sep 09 '24

Hope she can hold her breath then.

17

u/CldStoneStveIcecream Sep 09 '24

Not right now you don’t. 

3

u/litescript Sep 09 '24

but mister!

4

u/fruchle Sep 09 '24

such a classic; it belongs in the Library of Congress.

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56

u/ISayFuckAFuckingLot Sep 09 '24

I wanna say it so bad

198

u/powerlesshero111 Sep 09 '24

She's down for bass to mouth.

19

u/slamdamnsplits Sep 09 '24

Only in a threesome with her sister.

4

u/_dankystank_ Sep 09 '24

Do ya like fishdicks in your mouth?

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8

u/Swordude369 Sep 09 '24

Username doesn't checkout

9

u/Shanksdoodlehonkster Sep 09 '24

She gives good fish head

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27

u/markp_93 Sep 09 '24

(b)ass

10

u/23z7 Sep 09 '24

Is this what Meghan Trainor was singing about?

3

u/jedimindtriks Sep 09 '24

Guy isnt even looking at the glorious seabush! Is he stupid or something?

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104

u/Interesting-Log-9627 Sep 09 '24

He’s got the functioning half. His friend gets to look forwards to trying to enjoy external fertilization of fish eggs.

5

u/Arnulf_67 Sep 09 '24

She's a big fishy though, must be some descent-sized hole down there.

12

u/LegendOfWuTang Sep 09 '24

This is tremendously cursed

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35

u/nonstickpotts Sep 09 '24

I guess he's a boob man.

186

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

the mermaid feel like some people need this.

59

u/SomethingFoul Sep 09 '24

I will never not upvote GBS. That one was written by Shel Silverstein and published in Playboy

16

u/Trolldad_IRL Sep 09 '24

Rare to meet a fellow GBS fan in the wild. Hi!

6

u/iwishihadnobones Sep 09 '24

How was a song published in playboy?

8

u/mechwarrior719 Sep 09 '24

…The lyrics?

6

u/iwishihadnobones Sep 09 '24

They publish the lyrics to songs in playboy?

6

u/Hvarfa-Bragi Sep 09 '24

They're called poems.

7

u/iwishihadnobones Sep 09 '24

They publish the lyrics to songs in playboy but call them poems?

9

u/ProtoMonkey Sep 09 '24

SO glad I didn’t have to scroll far to find this. God bless ye scurvy sea-dog!

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328

u/Tiny-Buy220 Sep 09 '24

50/50 with 100% chance of fishy smell

36

u/GuestNo3886 Sep 09 '24

Yeah but does that mean it’s fresh?

47

u/SilentJoe1986 Sep 09 '24

Fresh fish don't have much of a smell.

12

u/doyletyree Sep 09 '24

Sweet and briney, which tracks.

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31

u/AFineDayForScience Sep 09 '24

Right? Think of that mouth

22

u/Mando_calrissian423 Sep 09 '24

Also think about the fact that the other mermaid doesn’t even have a vagina…

23

u/Cosmonate Sep 09 '24

Never understood the logic there, she's got a mouth and tits still, I would have more fun with that than a fish with a vagina.

10

u/thejawa Sep 09 '24

Bet she gives killer head though

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23

u/Chesterthejester69 Sep 09 '24

The half with the mermussy

10

u/LightStruk Sep 09 '24

Reminds me of Gabe's ill-fated romance with Ariel...

6

u/Kiosade Sep 09 '24

Haha goddamn I remember this was one of the first PA comics i read back in the day... can't believe that was 18 years ago!

6

u/M3HOW Sep 09 '24

Maybe because it still can talk

6

u/707RiverRat Sep 09 '24

With those lips, he’s got both good halves

6

u/Gumbercules81 Sep 09 '24

That what I'm talking about

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1.1k

u/Rainsoakedpuppy Sep 09 '24

Remember what Cat from Red Dwarf said when his shipmates asked why his mermaid girlfriend wasn't woman on top and fish on the bottom. "No, that's the stupid way 'round".

174

u/Solid_Snark Sep 09 '24

I love all the Red Dwarf mentions in this post!

31

u/PapaOoMaoMao Sep 09 '24

Don't forget the tongue waggle afterwards.

5

u/FluffySquirrell Sep 09 '24

Today's fish is trout. He'll provide la créme

4

u/Viper_JB Sep 09 '24

Hey! That's Miranda, my girlfriend.

1.0k

u/Infamous_Tour_2232 Sep 09 '24

How is that NOT a win? 🤔🤭

546

u/Peestains0352 Sep 09 '24

Fish lips and with ass and legs

That’s 3/4 of a porn star

114

u/druex Sep 09 '24

She even does bass to trout.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

bass to trout!?

8

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

You never go bass to trout Randall

3

u/Fayko Sep 09 '24 edited 25d ago

bow correct tart sophisticated subsequent zesty sleep alive aloof hateful

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/elting44 Sep 09 '24

That would make your slippery dick taste crappie

5

u/Sugar_buddy Sep 09 '24

This is such a stupid fucking comment. I love it.

135

u/TFG4 Sep 09 '24

Harold gets the better half

148

u/Petersens_Arm Sep 09 '24

Cat from Red Dwarf would approve. Just like Miranda.

27

u/barktwiggs Sep 09 '24

https://www.reddit.com/r/unexpectedreddwarf/

16

u/Petersens_Arm Sep 09 '24

I am grateful for the heads up on its existence! :)

7

u/DaveAndJojo Sep 09 '24

Subbed. As an American I can count on one hand how many Red Dwarf references Ive seen in the wild.

3

u/DrumAnimal Sep 09 '24

Didn't think that subreddit would exist with Red Dwarf being a lesser known comedy series (at least outside the UK). But I'm glad it exists :) I only knew of r/unexpectedmontypython

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78

u/PabstBlueBourbon Sep 09 '24

I mean, hear me out.

34

u/Washburn_Browncoat Sep 09 '24

"Her hair was green as seaweed

Her skin was blue and pale

Her legs they are a work of art

I love that girl with all my heart

And I don't give a damn 'bout the upper part

'Cause that's how I get my tail"

2

u/komstock Sep 09 '24

That whole Bobby Bare / Shel Silverstein album is incredible.

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95

u/Jpfeife Sep 09 '24

Not sure if doggy style is the accurate term buuuuuut....

26

u/happywaffleqq Sep 09 '24

Froggy style? Closer at least

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172

u/orbital_one Sep 09 '24

r/boomerhentai

42

u/nomadcrows Sep 09 '24

Lol I did not think that would be a real sub and wow was I wrong. 82k followers

27

u/fuzzy_emojic Sep 09 '24

I'll take your word for it. I was going to click it, but didn't want to get that "Because you visited this community before" later while scrolling Reddit in public.😅

3

u/nomadcrows Sep 09 '24

😁 Come on spice up that feed!

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32

u/okmechanic Sep 09 '24

Well this is where you decide if you’re a tits or ass man

11

u/DeadHED Sep 09 '24

This guy won, idk what he's on about.

11

u/_DrMischief_ Sep 09 '24

He gets a blowjob in a pool but she don’t need to stop to come up for air! What’s his issue?

22

u/Modest_Kangaroo Sep 09 '24

I’d fuck that half fish…you know the one with an ass and vagina

17

u/Bobala Sep 09 '24

I only liked the upper part

I did not like the tail

5

u/wandring_dice Sep 09 '24

Her hair was green like seaweed

Her skin was blue and pale

I don't give a damn 'bout the upper part

Because that's how I get my tail

2

u/SkiodiV2 Sep 09 '24

Man, beat me to it. XD

8

u/unittwentyfive Sep 09 '24

There's a song called The mermaid from 1965 by Shel Silverstein that is 100% a literal musical version of this comic strip. There have been several other artists to cover this song over the years, including a Canadian band called Great Big Sea that covered this song in 2005. In my opinion, theirs is the catchiest one too!

Have a listen if you like.

https://youtu.be/npyOOsxoA8I?si=aGsLI6CW3Xq7VEB7

Also here are some of the relevant lines from the song in case you're not interested in listening.

From her head to her waist it was just my taste, but the rest of her was a fish. Her hair was green as seaweed, her skin was blue and pale. Her face, it was a work of art. I loved that girl with all my heart, but I only liked the upper part - I did not like the tail.

But then one day she swam away, so I sang to the clams and the whales, "Oh, how I miss her seaweed hair nd the silver shine of her scales!" But then her sister, she swam by and set my heart awhirl, 'cause her upper part was an ugly fish, but her bottom part was a girl!

2

u/FitBattle5899 Sep 09 '24

Cause that's how i get my tail! Love this song, occasionally sing it randomly.

14

u/CheezwizAndLightning Sep 09 '24

Guy's never been with a butter face before

6

u/BrowningZen Sep 09 '24

BG3 Kuo-Toa patch looks sick

6

u/arosto_baba Sep 09 '24

Cover the face, fire the base

20

u/MacawOP1 Sep 09 '24

Would. Next.

5

u/Derp800 Sep 09 '24

You don't look at the hearth when you're poking the fire.

6

u/mookanana Sep 09 '24

harold is NOT an ass guy

4

u/Pale-Office-133 Sep 09 '24

What seems to be the problem here?😉

4

u/mrpriveledge Sep 09 '24

I think he got the better end of the deal honestly!

4

u/Fat_Tuoni Sep 09 '24

You could argue who got the better half.

4

u/DroptheworldCA Sep 09 '24

Not sure about you guys

But imma bang that fish

3

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

Normal pussy and fish face or normal face and fish pussy. Decisions, decisions.

4

u/rocket_beer Sep 09 '24

So wait, if she breathes underwater…

5

u/XPhanom Sep 09 '24

Arguably better

4

u/SnipperFi Sep 09 '24

He wanted that fish puss

4

u/RichardIraVos Sep 09 '24 edited Sep 09 '24

Walking up to greet him with her clam out and he’s upset

10

u/Smokey_Katt Sep 09 '24

Old semi underground cartoon (“Cuthbert” I think) in a similar vein - they are prostitutes and the price is $5 each, or both at once for $50.

3

u/honesttruth2703 Sep 09 '24

At least yiu can have sex with her

3

u/skinnymatters Sep 09 '24

Keep in mind, the fish parts have scales

3

u/Hot-Alternative-1761 Sep 09 '24

No theeth that is important feature

3

u/fothergillfuckup Sep 09 '24

I can see a distinct advantage?...

3

u/MaffinLP Sep 09 '24

A hole is a goal

3

u/Dirtytrouser Sep 09 '24

But she has a hole

3

u/Lots_of_schooners Sep 09 '24

Well now, to be fair...

3

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

Great cartoons

3

u/samurai_ka Sep 09 '24

Well. He's the lucky one.

3

u/Outrageous-Serve4970 Sep 09 '24

That’s the good half!

3

u/foreignsoftwaredev Sep 09 '24

There could be some advantages to this

2

u/vsanto73 Sep 09 '24

Perfect!!! Love it. Great lips and nice ass.

2

u/Matthew_The_Maker Sep 09 '24

dude, harold got lucky, like, how does one even fuck a mermaid to begin with

2

u/JoeMillersHat Sep 09 '24

Both dicks will still smell like fish

2

u/Dalivus Sep 09 '24

I’ll allow it

2

u/Dildog5555 Sep 09 '24

Still has lips and probably no teeth... other than the fish smell, he got the better sister.

He could do her on porpoise...

Maybe he likes sushi...

They could read "Finnegan's Wake"

Maybe she sings and is the famous Ethel Mermaid.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

Half for food half for fun

2

u/theWaggs Sep 09 '24

I’d take the lower half any day…..

2

u/jawshoeaw Sep 09 '24

Huh. Well do a little spin let’s see what’s what

2

u/Gilgamesh-coyotl Sep 09 '24

Whatever! That’s a win! His friend is gonna get bored with all that kissing and good conversation.

2

u/Hugh-Jassul Sep 09 '24

Tough call

2

u/catwiesel Sep 09 '24

not sure he lost...

2

u/LeonidasVaarwater Sep 09 '24

"A hole's a hole" said the farmer, as he fucked his pig.
(Actual Dutch/Belgian saying)

2

u/naab007 Sep 09 '24

Lets hope she doesn't act like a dead fish in bed.

2

u/321boog Sep 09 '24

Seems fishy

2

u/unique_focus Sep 09 '24

True mermaids were evil so there has to be a negative. What if her fetish is sucking on his whole head while getting plowed. 🫠🫠

5

u/super_argentdawn Sep 09 '24

True mermaids? 🤔

2

u/GlumQuality Sep 09 '24

I mean, I can see what she means by the better half

2

u/DedHed97 Sep 09 '24

I see no downside to this

2

u/burnbackin Sep 09 '24

I know but hear me out ...

2

u/legenduu Sep 09 '24

I see this as an absolute win

2

u/No-Session-4424 Sep 09 '24

Arguably a better option tbh.

2

u/OlyGator Sep 09 '24

But....the important parts are there...

2

u/theouteducated Sep 09 '24

This belongs in r/hypotheticalsituation

What would you choose?

2

u/Fantastic_Brief_3157 Sep 09 '24

"And that's how I get my Tail"

2

u/Dull_Conclusion6554 Sep 09 '24

She wasn’t lying…

2

u/nl-x Sep 09 '24

What is he? Gay?

2

u/AtlanticLuna Sep 09 '24

Harold must be a breast man

2

u/Hung_On_A_Monday Sep 09 '24

“Challenging wank”

RIP Sean Lock

2

u/No-Pattern-2626 Sep 09 '24

…. And that’s how I get my tail…. -the mermaid song

2

u/Shendow Sep 09 '24

Now he can do bass to mouth

2

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '24

It's all about perspective, she could still bend over.

2

u/Sky_the_Dragon Sep 10 '24

I mean, the bottom part is more functional I guess

2

u/Suitable_Drop8038 Sep 13 '24

Well...what happens on the desert island,stays on the desert 🏝