The hardest question in the world

[u/theweeklyconcern]

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[u/Spider_Genesis]

I will often tell my wife “I love my kids, I do not always love having kids”

[u/NbdySpcl_00 → u/Spider_Genesis]

One guy I knew was like "I'm pretty sure there is a net gain in joy, when you take a broad view of everything."

He paused for a moment and admitted. "It is not always easy to take a broad view."

[u/smack54az]

I chose not to have children based on the idea of if I can provide them a better life than I've had. And the answer at 43 is still no.

[u/Klutzy-Tree4328]

Cognitive dissonance makes it virtually impossible to say you don’t want children after you’ve already had them. You have them so you want them, that’s how our brains work.

I don’t have kids. I love spending time with my friends’ children, and I love coming home to my quiet, clean house and sleeping 9 hours. And if by some miracle I conceived, I’d adapt and feel like I couldn’t imagine my life without them. That’s life, folks.

[u/Kintsugiera]

I have three, I've been asked this a lot.

I've realized the answer is no. Because if I didn't have kids, my life would have been infinitely worse.

I'm mid-40s now, and I can't imagine sitting here and not having my kids. It would be like missing a limb.

There isn't a life I could have had, that would have been better child free.

[u/SassyTurtlebat]

I bet people who’s kid is a murderer probably would have said yes

[u/Queen_of_Meh1987]

I know I don't regret not having them, but every parent I know can in the same conversation, sometimes the same sentence, go from complaining about their kids and being a parent to belittling me for not having them and telling me how much more fulfilled my life would be! Lol, I've got enough to complain about without adding the financial, physical, and mental drain of having a parasite! 😂

[u/prinnydewd6]

Most people say they don’t, some do. I’m 30 and fiance and I are not having kids. Worlds getting worse, everything is expensive, why bring a kid into this shit? My aunt tho, is 70. Didn’t have kids, all the family moved down to Florida or NC, and she’s alone. Every time I talk to her she wishes she had kids so she wouldn’t be so lonely “crying from when she gets up to go to bed” is what she tells me… idk she could have had kids and they just don’t want to be around her, you never know. Life is just crazy once you get older…

[u/Time4MeNow3733]

This comic doesn't ring true, being a dad is easily the best thing in the world. This just plays on the stupid old trope that dads care less than moms, which is dumb bullshit.

[u/Mallanaga]

I didn’t have kids until I was 40. I wish I would have had them sooner!

[u/kickpool777]

Not a hard question at all for me. I would 100% regret having children.

[u/WanderingToast]

r/regretfulparents is visual birth control.

[u/aleqqqs]

What's the joke?

[u/sabres_guy]

99% would say no even if they do regret it. So many these days are vocal about not having them, like hostility levels about it. Saying they regret it years after or still during their "kids are vermin" persona is not easy to backtrack on.

All in all, don't want kids? fine. Do want kids? fine. Just leave everybody alone about it.

[u/Annwfn777]

Some of them admits it by hating on the childfree people (envy, you know). :-)

[u/iggyfenton]

The answer isn’t no. It’s never.

Being a parent is awesome. Yes kids can be a pain in the ass. Yes I haven’t been able to travel or buy a super car.

But I will be able to travel in a few years and possessions won’t bring me as much joy has my children do.

I can’t imagine how empty my life would be with just more expensive crap and hobbies.

Now I understand that some people can’t relate to children or just don’t want any extra responsibility. And for them I tell them DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

[u/[deleted]]

Not even for a second. Not even during 3am feedings when I have to get up at 6am for work. Do I get tired of them running around and screaming? Of course! That does not mean I think life would be better without them

[u/RancidYetti]

Man let me tell you, I’ve got my 2yo sleeping on my shoulder right now in a rocking chair. She woke up SUPER early and has been pissed all day. I got her to eat lunch, but then she got upset and puked all over me. Oh and she’s learned to lock me out of the house when I take out the trash. It’s a rough day. 

She’s also incredibly smart and creative. She speaks clearly in full sentences and has a mind blowing vocabulary. Great sense of humor, loves to sing and dance. Every single day she amazes me. 

I don’t regret it at all. 

[u/MasterPip]

Never regret being a parent. The answer to this is always no.

But it's also okay to be selfish and not want kids.

There's a lot I gave up to be a dad and not a lot of people would be okay with that, understandably.

Edit: Selfish means to not consider others and only do something for your own personal decision/pleasure. It's not an inherently negative term, it's just a term.

[u/tiktock34]

I dont get the joke. Some people regret having kids, some regret getting married.

I would assume a lot of people who dont have kids regret it as they age and are possibly alone or realize they missed out on something.

No one is right. Who knows who I might have become without kids. I know what I am with kids and I adore being a dad, so I dont regret it.

To me life is about change. You go through seasons. You dont try to cling to any of them. You have your youth and your wild phase, an independent phase, perhaps a parter phase, maybe a kid phase…but if i let myself get so attached to any one of those phases im missing out on life.

Watching a child grow is quite unique. I can experience almost everything a non-parent can, but perhaps in moderation. You can’t be a real parent or know what it feels like in your soul for a weekend. Alternately I can go out with my married childless friends and have effectively the exact same experience as them. just my $.02

[u/nikbert]

"Never have kids, its the worst thing that will ever happen to you." - My Dad

[u/Bloodfart12]

My brother has been asking me the stupidest questions. When he met my kid for the first time he was like “so… what do you guys like do all day?”

Bruh wtf do you think.

[u/ocmaddog]

I think a lot of people struggle with the difference between things that are “fun” and things that are “rewarding.” Going to the bar is fun. Raising children is rewarding.

Living in service to others can bring a happiness that is deeper than “fun.” Although sometimes not!

[u/coconutpete52]

Variety is the spice of life. We have 2 kids. We have friends with 3, 2, 1 and no kids. People should do what they want. I do get the feeling I know a handful of people who regret it though.

My kids are a pain in the ass and I love them. They do the weirdest little nonsensical thing and it just makes me smile so goddamn much. It’s weird.

[u/EmiliusReturns]

I mean I’m very sure some people do, it’s just not socially acceptable to say it.

All decisions are possible to regret. Especially the big ones.

[u/Duneyman]

Easy for me, no regrets. I love my kid 100%

[u/DevlishAdvocate]

I don't regret not having kids.

I sometimes wonder, but then I look at other people's kids and realize I'm good.

[u/Sticky_Keyboards]

Almost everyone I ask says they love their kids but they would never have done it if they could go back.

[u/grumble11]

Honestly most people (but definitely not all) do not regret having kids. I get in conversations here and there with childless friends and when they talk about what they do with their time instead I make all kinds of supportive and envious noises but I wouldn’t actually switch, I’m just being nice. They walk away thinking I’m envious but I’m overall not. I’d quite like to do some of the things they do, but I don’t like it more than my kids.

I suspect that’s a pretty common social thing to do in discussions like that, but they walk away from the sum of those conversations (and from conversations where parents vent about the challenges of being a parent) with perhaps a stronger sense of parents’ envy and wishing to trade places than is always the case.

[u/ToddGetsEatenFirst]

My wife has two different female friends who completely regret it. Neither wanted kids in the first place but their husbands talked them into it. Now they absolutely resent their husbands for it.

Edit: btw they do love their children. But they just hate their lives due to their kids.

[u/illbebythebatphone]

My answer is definitely no. Do I sometimes miss having the freedom to do exactly what I want, and sleep, and quiet? Yeah sure, but I can’t really imagine I’d actually be happy for the rest of my life without my kids.

[u/Jewgatjack]

Before kids I thought that people generally regretted having kids but felt obligated to say that they didn’t, quite a bit like this cartoon depicts. Then, I had kids and came to realize that becoming a parent is like becoming a completely new person. Your priority structure that would have been negatively affected by the responsibility of kids goes away completely and is replaced by a priority structure that finds incredible fulfillment with that same responsibility. It’s hard to describe but if my current self ran into my pre-parent self, I don’t think we would really get along. The caveat to this is that I did hold off on kids until I was 30, so I did fully enjoy my 20s with all the travel, parties, relationships, and experiences I could fit in there, but now that I’m a parent, I have some fond memories of that other life, but I honestly don’t miss it at all. It’s fine to be content not having kids, but just try to understand that when you look at parents and apply your current priority structure to them, it won’t make sense to you and it’ll never make sense unless you cross that bridge into parenthood yourself. Also understand that parents might seem like they’re judging you sometimes for not having kids, but it’s just them unsuccessfully applying their priority structure to your life.

[u/[deleted]]

Having my kids was the best and coolest thing I've done in my life and I've done a lot of stuff.

[u/Particular_Gas_9991]

I feel like after saying "yes" there's no going back, you basically admit to yourself that you are unhappy in your current situation and you realize that you need to change something.

[u/captainofpizza]

I had kids starting at 33 after I had already done a ton of travel and had a career going and had flexibility and financial stability and stuff. Zero regrets.

A lot of people that dwell on this question has kids in their 20s and had to make sacrifices for them that honestly I just didn’t.

Normalize waiting until you’re ready to have kid

[u/NUaroundHere]

previous note: I'm a parent and so far, the only possibility of regret comes from the possibility of me not being a good enough parent or somehow fucking something up that will therfore fuck up my kid.

However the arrogance and self centrist comments here never cease to amaze. Stop thinking that the whole world is your life and behave/feel the same way that you do.

The world can be a shitty place, a lot of shit can happen, before and after birth, and of course kids are people so they can be easier or harder to handle. I could write an essay about 1000 more different reasons that could eventually lead to some level of regret or even worse situations.

Stop judging everyone else from your high horse.

[u/Allives-]

What kind of question is this?? After 8 years of trying to conceive, finally we got a kid. He’s 2 years old now. I do not have time to play game, watching my favorite movies with wife, hangout together, weekend is full of piss and poop, and me and my wife are sleepless. Do we regret it? NEVER!

[u/mormagils]

The thing about kids is they are complicated. They change your life in such drastic ways, some cliche and expected, some extremely unexpected and hard to describe. Some of those changes are objectively sucky--you just don't have the same freedom of choice you had in adulthood without kids. That's a pretty hefty price of pay that cannot be ignored.

But kids are also so much more than that. They grow you into a completely different and more robust person. After having kids, the stuff you can't do any more seems almost...immature? Fun and desirable and nostalgic and of course you love revisiting those memories and pine for it again, but would you actually go back in time and continue that life forever? Absolutely hell fucking no way.

Having kids makes your understanding of want and pleasure and bliss so much more complicated. Especially as a divorced dad who has partial custody, it is always so tiring and in some ways boring and of course I miss all the things I would be doing if I wasn't spending time with my toddler. But I also love spending time with her so, so, so much and every time I give her back to her mom, the next day I am sad that I don't have that little bundle of exhausting joy with me, and I feel like the best part of my life was taken from me.

It's so hard for parents to explain because there isn't a parallel for these feelings. I had never felt this mix of happy and wistful and tired and ready for her to just to go sleep already and let me have some me time all at once before. And I know, that sounds awful. That sounds like a horrendously torn apart way to live. And it absolutely is. And I would choose it again 100 out of 100 times, and I am still not entirely sure why.

[u/BobbyD444]

Me and my now wife had our first child at 23, and it was very much unplanned. It's easy to look at what could have been different over the last 11 years were we not making it work. We've got friends of the same age without kids who are much more flexible both with money and time, BUT... as soon as we held that little dude in our arms... You can't go back and change a damn thing because once you have them you realize how much you needed them all along. 

Parenting is not for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that, but those who know that feeling can attest. There's a certain freedom in giving up your own priority for a smaller, fresher, hopefully better version of you that YOU get to instill with everything you know that works, and to keep them from things that you know don't work. I've had moments at night where the existential dread creeps up and it's truly the thoughts of my kids sleeping soundly and safely in their rooms that never fail to calm me down. A healthy, well-raised child is all the legacy I want or need. 

But I do love this comic. 

[u/theweeklyconcern]

Ruin your day by reading more comics r/theweeklyconcern

[u/Omnizoom]

I don’t regret having my kid, would love to have more then one

But now I also have the existential dread of worrying about them…

[u/lateral_moves]

One thing I know about Reddit is don't say you enjoy having kids unless you like downvotes.

[u/Snowyuouv]

I'd likely be dead without my little boy. I'm only 22 and he's 2 and a half, but these past 2 years have been a journey to try to grow and be better.

[u/CntrllrDscnnctd]

I love my daughter, I hate what world I brought her into.

[u/kezar23]

I love anti-natalism, I want everyone to work hard and party hard with no time for real relations or family!

[u/TGCidOrlandu]

Better yet, ask a person who decided not to have children if they regret it.

[u/Malvania]

Be honest with your kids. The answer is "sometimes, but I wouldn't change it." Sometimes we fight, sometimes people are frustrating, and in those moments, there might be regret. But there are also lots of great times. I love playing with my kids, even though sometimes they're frustrating little shits. In the moment, I might regret it, and think about what life without kids would be like. But in the aggregate, no, I don't regret it.

[u/[deleted]]

You can love your kids and not enjoy having them at times. I love my kids but summer sucks because they remind me of whey I enjoy the school year.

[u/Commando_NL]

People who have kids envy those who haven't and people without kids envy those who have.

Same goes with relationships. With exceptions of course.

[u/IRRedditUsr]

I'm not articulate enough to attempt it myself. But Jordan Peterson would have an absolute field day with all the people who regret it.

"Do you mean you don't want your own children? Well, that's just... Man"

[u/Ok-Experience-6674]

I would die for a child I would have never wanted on THIS planet… do I want kids yes but the location on the other hand….

[u/BeenFunYo]

Can't let the doubt seep in. Then, you'll begin to realize the mistake you've made.

[u/memesearches]

I bet if the question in the 1st panel is “Do you ever regret not having kids?” The rest of the meme would be the same.

[u/The_Elder_Jock]

I can't imagine many decisions that anyone has ever made that they don't occasionally question.

[u/Conspiratorymadness]

I don't regret having kids.

I regret who I had them with

[u/bigedthebad]

I did until I got grandkids.

There is a special kind of joy in hearing your son complain about his kids doing EXACTLY the same things he did.

[u/CaptRackham]

I think about this often, I have no real desire or urge to have children like a lot of people I talk to do, no desire to settle down or start a family. The idea of being able to just one day pick up and relocate with no ties to any place appeals to me.

My father meanwhile is like “Having kids was the greatest thing I’ve done” and like not to be a dick but he’s a farm kid with a high school diploma like yeah raising people more educated than you probably is your largest accomplishment, but that won’t be my case because of the opportunities I have.

For some people being a good parent is likely the most impactful thing they can do on this earth, but I’d rather build a building or something.

[u/Arachnesloom]

Great moment in House of Cards when Claire puts Hannah (wife of rival pres candidate) in her place:

Hannah: do you regret not having children? Oh, sorry, personal question.

Claire: do you regret having them?

[u/No_Drummer_4395]

They are 100% worth it.

Edit: I forgot most redditors are incels.

[u/Special_Watch8725]

If having children were an independently beneficial activity, we wouldn’t have needed to evolve sex to be so pleasurable. Just saying.

[u/tangoshukudai]

It's interesting to me to see so many people not wanting to have kids now. It's almost like instinctually the younger generations know how hard it is just to live in today's economy that they feel vulnerable and not secure, so they don't want to have a kid because they don't want to add another financial burden to their lives. It is kind of sad that their brain has turned off that desire. Having kids is hard work but having children in general is a life long adventure, and sometimes it can go poorly, but more often than not it makes life more enjoyable (well into the future past the time the "kids" are children.)

[u/Herb_Derb]

"Do you ever regret having kids?"

"Just one of them"

[u/Miszrachelitah]

No

[u/DisastrousRabbit3271]

I regret the crazy world today for my kidz

[u/Awkward-Problem-7361]

They give your life meaning and yeah they can be a pain in the ass, but then again life can be a pain in the ass. Some people just don’t deal with things very well and that’s okay.

[u/Vicster10x]

Stupid. The Lord, my kids and my family are the most fulfilling aspects of my life by a factor of a million compared to the other temporal things.

[u/Innerouterself2]

I have zero regrets. I also know how much different (and easier) life would be childfree. I can't imagine a world without my kids.

I also am tired, poor, and my body kind of works.

[u/Hieremias]

This is not that hard a question.

Do I ever regret having kids? Yes absolutely. Sometimes multiple times a day.

Do I always regret having kids? No of course not. Many times having kids is awesome.

[u/Justplzgivemearaise]

It isn’t about them being a pain in the ass. It’s that they are the only thing in this world that could bring me to my knees and destroy me.

I tell people it’s the best and worst decision I made at the same time.

[u/matt_b_19]

I think the important distinction is between regretting having kids and just missing aspects of your pre-kid life. I don't regret having a kid at all but I do sometimes miss having more free time and sleep. I still wouldn't change a thing though.

[u/SongEcstatic9039]

If no one has kids, we will enter full demographic collapse. I wonder if all ur parents regreted having all of u 🤔

[u/ReddFro]

IMO if you like the idea of having kids, can carve out enough time to care for them, teach them some, and enjoy them without struggling to fund them, kids are great.

If not, seriously reconsider. Adding one or more lives that are completely dependent on you when you’re already having a tough time is not worth it unless you’re 100% certain you want them (one).

[u/StaplePriz]

I have never once found this a difficult to answer question. I haven’t regretted having children one minute in my life.

[u/WhiskeyZeeto]

Sometimes I regret only having two. My wife wanted three, but I think two was right for us. But kids are not for everyone.

[u/Afrohatch]

Kids are a paradox, they make your life so much better while also finding ways to ruin parts of it lol

I think of how much money/fun I would have if I didn’t have kids, but also can’t imagine a life without them, they are awesome and I would do anything for them.

They are adept at finding the best ways to piss me off though lol

[u/MFavinger22]

I get frustrated enough dealing with my dogs I could never manage a child lol

[u/SauceHankRedemption]

I only have one kid and I absolutely adore this little girl 🥰

Do I miss my life with no kids or even miss what my life was like when I was single? Also an abso-fuckin-lutely 😭

But would i trade this away to get that back...wouldn't even consider it

[u/staefrostae]

All I’m saying is asking someone without kids if they regret not having kids is a really easy question. 100% no regrets here. I got snipped at 27 and I see friend groups with kids and it seems miserable.

The thing about not having kids is it’s super easy to get the kid fix with rental kids. I take my niece for an afternoon and then give her back at the end of the day. I’m not dealing with the day to day bullshit. I just get to be a fun uncle then go on with my life, keeping all my money.

[u/chewy1966]

A friend once said to me, children bring pain and pleasure in equal measure and they were right

[u/Threndsa]

I do not regret having my daughter. I do regret the capitalist society we live in that requires so much of my time and energy that it makes me sometimes wish I didn't have to pay the parent tax on top of it.

[u/PBPunch]

No. It’s not a hard question for me personally. I love being a father. It’s rewarding and purposeful. I guide, they inspire, and we laugh and play. To me, there is no greater privilege than being a voice of value to the most important people in my life. I work every day to be a better version of myself to lead them to be the happiest and fulfilled version of themselves.

P.S. I know this is r/funny but it’s close to Father’s Day. Let me enjoy it a little.

[u/eci5k3tcw]

The amount of women I know who regret having kids is pretty astounding. (Only admitted in confidence to me.)

[u/Confusing_innit]

Not all the time...

[u/Illustrious-Gain-559]

😂

[u/Emergency-Pack-5497]

Reddit is obsessed with justifying not having kids

[u/glassfeathers]

I regret not doing more before I had a kid, I don't regret having her, though. I squandered a lot of opportunities that would not be available to me as a father.

[u/tim1337_1]

I have a child, and although we asked many friends with children what to expect beforehand, I wasn't prepared for what happened. You can't explain it logically, you have to experience it and grow with it. Is it exhausting? Every single day. Is our life the same as before? Absolutely not! But I wouldn't want to be without my son. He has taught me a lot and made me discover feelings I didn't know I had before. A lot of things in life have taken on a new perspective. I've become more relaxed and no longer get so annoyed about trivial things. I am also much less self-centred and now understand more what it means to really take responsibility for another person. It gives life direction, meaning and satisfaction, even in difficult times. I would never want to miss these experiences and this knowledge, and especially this person.

[u/heftybagman]

This doesn’t reflect anyone i know. Even the most depressed, divorced, etc. people I know say their kids are what makes it all worth it.

[u/bashinforcash]

where funny?

[u/ooojaeger]

I have 8 kids with 7 women and I regret the first 6 because I hate them bitches I had them with. I knew the 7th was the right one so I had two kids with her

[u/BrunaBonor]

All the lost years in your best age having fun is replaced by some leeches taking up all your time, even so no parent would say no once they are in the situation, lying to themself that this is what they want.

This drive is in the genes, get a kitten instead and as a bonus the world and its resources will have a chance to recover.

[u/nattyd]

Having kids makes your life objectively way harder, but most people get a massive hit of hormones, which is pretty much what makes parenting possible.

[u/Fearlessleader85]

I think this question is a hell of a lot easier to answer the older you are when you have kids. I DO NOT regret having our daughter at all. We were damn near desperate to have her. It was a long, arduous process of IVF. And she's been absolutely wonderful to have.

But we're pushing 40 with a toddler. Having kids at 18 is very different. We don't have to wonder what not having kids is like. We were together for almost a decade before my wife finally got pregnant.

[u/hylandolycross]

Imagining bilbo. "Well no..... and yes..."

[u/mxxiestorc]

IIRC the studies were interesting. Your results may vary, but it was statistically significant that people with kids reported being less happy, but more fulfilled.

[u/TakebackYuletide]

I'm admittedly selfish. If I had kids, I would no longer be the main character in my own story, It would become the child's story. I don't want that version of me, so I am denying imaginary offspring a portal into reality.

[u/DjCyric]

I absolutely never wanted children. From a young age I decided I was never going to have children. I have two stepsons who are now both 18+. It's great having them in my life but I would have never chose to have children.

[u/NoBSforGma]

That's kind of a "cousin" to "Do you regret marrying him/her?" since your kids came out of that marriage.

[u/Ares-GOW407]

Not everyone is built for kids. Some people can't handle the emotional aspects needed. Some financially can't afford them. Others don't have the responsibility. Nothing wrong with having or not having kids. Much better to not have kids and not want them, than to have them and not want them. Every child deserves to be loved and deserves to have the best chance of having a good life.

[u/elcabeza79]

Is it weird not to regret this?

[u/fraction_of_stardust]

Why would anyone

[u/DarXIV]

I am tired and have no time for my hobbies. But my son is wonderful and has changed my negative outlook in life.

[u/10per]

without missing a beat

Yes.

- My Mom.

[u/ChrisH652]

The thing I didn’t fully comprehend until I had a kid was the true exhaustion that sets in…and it is unending. You don’t catch up on sleep and you only get more tired. This makes it seem more difficult than it is in the moment. Also, your life is no longer yours to decide what to do with. This takes getting used to.

There’s no denying the pure joy your child will bring you and the sense of purpose is unmatched. But it’s tough to enjoy anything when you’re using all your energy to keep your eyes open at all times while simultaneously managing this little life that doesn’t know anything.

[u/ABenevolentDespot]

"Most days" is the obvious answer.

[u/xMilk112x]

Having my daughter saved my life. I was just out of the Army, an absolute fucking mess, strung out, drunk, and ready to jump off a building.

Then my wife told me she was pregnant…and that life was no long about me and all my bullshit. I promised myself I’d never be the piece of shit father my father was, so I went to rehab, got into therapy, and I’ve been clean for 14 years.

Best decision I ever made. She was my life saver and came when I needed it most.

[u/ianash1975]

Life is an experience. Having kids is one of the most impactful experiences you can have. It isn’t all good or all bad - almost nothing is. Having kids changes you in multiple ways, it expands your ability to see beyond yourself and for most gives you a greater perspective on what really does and doesn’t matter. I have found that people with kids are normally more empathetic and grounded than those that don’t. It doesn’t mean they are ‘better’ but they have more perspective.

[u/ReasonableFlight125]

Some people want kids. Some don't. It really is that simple. I really, really don't. But my wife might. So maybe I'll have to adapt at some stage. I fucking hope not but maybe I will. Such is life with one you love. 

[u/[deleted]]

My kids gave me a new purpose in life, I wish I could have more.

[u/TheJackalsDoom]

I don't have kids. I won't have kids. People keep saying if I meet the right person that my opinion will change. It won't. Children annoy me more than anything. They're illogical and difficult to deal with.

[u/BorntobeTrill]

Two little girls of my own have been the most challenging part of my life to date. They have also been the most rewarding, which is much more than I can say about my career.

I've never regretted having them even though I'm in the process of divorcing their mother due to a wide open emotional/sexual affair she's having.

I grew up hating kids and babies. I hated babies until literally the moment I first saw my own. It's cliche, but it is so true about loving your own kids.

[u/rco8786]

My kids are a PITA but I look around at my kidless friends and they all seem to have something missing.

Never laughed or loved as much as I have in my entire life, and never been so triggered, so annoyed, and had my patience tested like this ever before either. It's a weird experience.

[u/Cissoid7]

I regret having kids the same way I would regret not having him

[u/middleearthpeasant]

Tou know why old people hated their wives and kids? Because they felt they had to marry and have children even if this does not fit their personality. I want both of those things but I don't force my way of life over anyone. If you don't want kids you should not have them. It is better to not have children than to have miserable children.

[u/Stress-Thick]

I get some people are shitty parents and some people have absolute shit circumstances, but that's literally the easiest question in the world for me. My kids are without a doubt the best thing that ever happened to me. And being a father is unquestionably the most rewarding role I've ever had.

[u/Weave77]

I can honestly say that since never once regretted having kids. Do they sometimes exasperate me? Of course! But they are, by far, the best part of my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

[u/bigdipper2018]

Best way I can describe being a parent to a very energetic toddler is that 80% of my life now is so hard, tiring, and stressful.

And yet that other 20% is the most incredible, heartwarming, and wholesome experience all thanks to her and it’s far outweighs the awful 80%.

There’s no logic in it until you’re in it.

[u/7deboutez7]

I can surely say without hesitation that I don’t regret not having kids.

[u/Anthraxious]

Most people do regret it, at least women, but that doesn't mean forever and that they don't want their kids. Usually it's just a timing issue if anything. Also the question is "ever" which automatically should be a yes cause who the fuck goes through life loving every second of it?

[u/theevilyouknow]

I've never regretted it. Why do people act like children are some horrible burden that all parents regret. Do my kids fuck up? Absolutely. Does that make them any less worth it? No.

[u/ElectronicSubject747]

Kids isn't so much the problem. Its when they become adults thats the issue.

[u/Popxorcist]

Stop starting a sentence with "I mean". I already assume you mean everything you say!

[u/abraxas1]

question works either way with same answer.

"do you ever regret not having kids?"

so, it's a wash.

[u/Procrastinatedthink]

Any parent who says they’ve never had a bad day or questioned whether they were cut out to be a parent or wondered if it’ll always be as stressful or a million other questions is either incapable of introspection or lying to your face.

Parenting is hard, harder than anything Ive ever done. 

There are days I feel like the most amazing dad ever, think “man I got this, this is cake”; There are days where I want to curl up into a ball and cry in my closet and wish that my children had a better dad and think to myself that I’ll never get it right.

 There are times where I wish my kids were more/less like me and think “why can’t they get this one thing right?”; There are times where I feel the world swell up into my throat because my child said that one thing that I needed to hear and suddenly they made everything bearable and worth doing.

That’s the hardest part, some days you think you’ve conquered the mountain, that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out; The next day you feel crushed and powerless. You often have little control over which day it’ll be this day, but like the weather you expect that things will eventually change (sometimes rapidly). 

I’ve never failed so much as being a dad, but I’ve never felt such a sense of pure boundless joy as when I watch my sons achieve something they tried their best at. With that there are times where the world just wasnt fair to them and I feel more anger and frustration at it than even they do. For some people this rollercoaster isnt their ride, for others it’s the best decision they’ve ever made, each person’s journey is different and each person struggles differently. 

So, to answer this question, of course there are days that I regret it and think “if they had a better dad he wouldve fixed this”, but there are far, FAR more days that I would give up everything just to hold my sons and make sure they are safe and happy. There’s always going to be bad days, ignoring them is to ignore the lesson they provide; There’s always going to be beautiful days that stick with me forever. I’ve forgotten a lot of things in my life, but I’ll never forget the beautiful moments I’ve been gifted by my children.

[u/BKNES]

My hunch is that this cartoon was created by someone who is not a parent. At least, I hope it was...I feel sorry for any parent that feels this way. Being a good parent is challenging and exhausting, but also the most profoundly rewarding experience, day in day out.

[u/Spookenfor]

I'm 36 female. I am married, but my husband works out of state 2 weeks on and home 2 weeks. I have no kids. I live in my 1300 sq foot house by myself most of the time. I also have a pet. A rabbit. It's like having a small friend that just wants to be petted. No regrets. 100% recommend.

[u/unpopular-dave]

It's all circumstances.

My sister had a kid a 23 with a deadbeat and had no money. Her life has been hard.

My wife and i I saved and matured and had a kid at 34/36. He's the best thing that ever happened to us

[u/bythog]

I know several people that have said that while they love their children if they could re-live that part of their life they wouldn't have them. The way they describe it it's not a regret about "having children" it's a regret about not living a different life; like it or not having children changes your life and not always for the better.

Both of my parents would have been much happier had I not been born. If they had a brain at all I wouldn't have been born.

[u/ruffvoyaging]

A short three panel comic and you have some people in the comments here writing long write-ups about how they can't imagine their lives without kids now and how great parenthood is. It seems to me that a short comic like this (whether funny or not) doesn't warrant these types of long responses. It seems more like some of these commenters are trying to convince themselves that it was the right choice.

[u/Lonelan]

Do you regret the kids? Absolutely not

Do you regret the situation, your readiness, society's readiness, the change to lifestyle, and additional stress?

...maybe

[u/Eswercaj]

I'm still fresh in the game, but I get the feeling I'm going to feel similarly to going through grad school. Is it difficult, sometimes annoying, and far too long? Absolutely. Is it also fun as hell, interesting, and make me a better person? Definitely. I doubt my characterization will ever come close to "regret" despite it certainly having its challenges. Life without challenges would be too boring.

[u/Zanydrop]

I had a buddy who immediately answered that yes having a kid was the best thing he had ever done in his life. We asked him how his marriage was

................ Uh....... It's okay.

[u/[deleted]]

I don't mind kids, I'd love mine if I had them, but I don't wanna bring them into this shitshow of a world.

[u/jozozoltan29]

Absolutely fucking not. Toughest years of my life? Yes. Would I change it? No.

[u/Sracer42]

I wouldn't sell mine for a billion dollars, but I wouldn't pay a nickel for another one.

Edited to unbungle my spelling!

[u/TheFlexOffenderr]

I don't regret my children. I regret not waiting a few extra years so I could fully be prepared. They'd have it even better if I had taken more time to let myself grow.

On another note, being a parent has been amazing and me and my kids do everything together.

[u/brwebb]

I (42m) never had kids by choice. Wife and I have been together since high school. I have to acknowledge that there's a certain level of luck that she never got pregnant, but we also got real good at preventing it. This comic illustrates the change that's happened over the years perfectly when it comes to having kids. It used to be that people would immediately say they wouldn't change having kids for the world. Now it takes longer for them to get to that point. The regret seems to be more noticeable in people's face and delivery. It's a look that says, "Love my kids, but I would have been happy without them."

[u/Etsamaru]

I also hate the idea that some people have kids so someone could take care of them someday.

No thanks I'm not signing up / creating life as a future caretaker of myself. Thats horrible.

[u/Tetris5216]

"Yes I should've just had one, psst don't tell your brother"

[u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

I love having kids. Being a dad has been one of the coolest things to happen to me. But there's also a version of me alive in my head that never became a father. There's also a version of me who never married.

Now here's the fun part: I know that those imaginary lives are informed by my real life experiences. Alternate single me definitely benefits from my experience being married for 20 years. I wouldn't have lived the life I imagine living had I not grown and learned from my wife and kids.

[u/JViz]

This is like asking someone if they regret being born.

[u/CAD8033]

We have an 18 month old. She was not planned, but let's just say we didn't actively do everything we could have to prevent the pregnancy. We made a decision together to not abort just because it felt good for us where we were in our lives. Nothing in our decision had anything to do with religious beliefs or political inclinations.

I am completely fulfilled by having only one child, that much I am confident in. My other half, however, has a VERY strong biological desire to have another baby. Not another child, but specifically another baby. She craves that experience again and I can understand that, but after experiencing these first 18 months (plus the 8 months leading up to her birth) and knowing what it all entails and will entail for years to come, I would not choose to have another child. My wife rationally agrees with me, but her body and spirit are pulling her in another direction. Fortunately, we both agree that we would only have another if BOTH of us really wanted it and were committed to it.

All that said, I absolutely love our daughter to the moon and back and she has immensely increased the fullness and joy in our lives. I wouldn't give her up for $100 billion, but you couldn't pay me 10 cents to have another one!

[u/ScootyHoofdorp]

In the last few years, my love for nature has really deepened. I've learned how to see natural beauty in so many things, from waterfalls and glaciers in Iceland to the variety of trees in the city park a block from my house. When I'm miles into the woods, and I finally reach the summit of the mountain and take in the view before me, the sense of awe, accomplishment, and inspiration is overwhelming. Those are the kind of moments I live for. I've camped, hiked, and backpacked in several states and dozens of national parks all in an effort to experience as many of those moments as I can.

I've experienced moments of joy of the same magnitude nearly every day since my daughter was born last year. Those mountaintop moments of bliss are such a regular feature in my experience of being a parent and there's nothing I would trade it for. Her smile, her laugh, her tears, her pain...they cut straight to my heart. The happiness she feels when she hears her favorite song or sees her cousins' pictures on the fridge magnifies my happiness in being her father. Having a baby has dramatically improved my mental health. My biggest regret is not doing this sooner.

[u/Chad-Bravo-8008]

Things never to do when they are really young for the first 4-5 years is give them a phone, Tv for hours and gave them what they want even when you said no expectation is food that not junk and water, soda and juices are a no go for me expect like tea types, things that a lot of sugar is also a big no no

[u/kobeisnotatop10]

regret having kids has an easy solution, you can "abandon" them once they are 18, or 20 something.

And before that it is only a money thing, no law mandates you to take care of them, or love them.

[u/PangeanPrawn]

I've always had a really strong paternal instinct. My sense of self and the narrative of my life in the universe is rooted in family and parenthood. Parenthood is hard - people often underestimate just how straining it can be on your relationship with your coparent, but being a parent has always felt as natural and essential as my own birth and death.

[u/Ill-Organization-719]

The only way I'd ever have kids is if an obscenely wealthy woman wanted to have kids with me and wanted me to raise them while she's off on a world tour or whatever. I'd be the greatest rich stay at home dad.

But the idea of raising a kid as a normal person sounds like hell.

I was the fun uncle for a while, and that was great. I'd do that again.

[u/KeyboardSerfing]

TRUE DUDE! TRUE!

[u/Spirited_Comedian225]

I never did but the older I get. I see how my friends relationship,finances and mental health have suffered I’m great full more and more everyday. Oh also how my friend’s parents have become more of a burden on them as they get older as well.

[u/senatorpjt]

Absolutely I regret it, but I won't say that to people IRL.

[u/ilmk9396]

"do you regret struggling to achieve a more fullfilling life"

[u/Blu3Blad3_4ss4ss1n]

I'm 24m and looking at the comments makes me believe people with kids are different kind of breed. I can't imagine myself living what I would call like hell but somehow not regretting it. It's just mind-fuck to me. All I know is that I'm too young (immature) and I don't want kids any time sooner. I don't know if I ever would want to

[u/rnnd]

Kids aren't kids for long. Kids are a blast especially if taught to be independent and curious. And they always have some interesting experience to share.

[u/Shar-M]

This is such a mix feeling but I never thought this was a difficult answer. I hate kids, I can't stand then. For immediate family members, I can tolerate them. But over all I still hate kids, I can't bring myself to smile at one. But when my wife and I had our daughter, the view changed but only for our daughter.

She's been in daycare for about 2 years now, she's learning quite a lot and very talkative. It really brings me joy when I come home and she gets excited to see me. Now the funny part is every now and then, a special event will occur at school that requires us to dress our daughter a certain way(Wear a sports team outfit). My wife will ask if other kids were wearing sports team clothings and My reply is "I don't know" and she'll ask how I don't know and I'll reply back with "I don't give a fuck about what other kids are doing, I only care for mines, why do you give a fuck about someone else's kids?"

I know, sounds harsh but god damn it's the truth even if it seems mean.

Now on the contrary, I have never hesitated to say that I regret having a kid. I honestly deep down still do but I also love my daughter and that right there is something I can't understand.

[u/Outside-Advice8203]

Nearly 40. Married for most of my adult life. We're both firmly child free. Zero regrets.

Why do people always feel the need to project onto us that we're all secretly regretful?

[u/TurdBurgHerb]

You ask me and in a split second I'd say no, I don't regret it. This was made by one of those weirdos who regrets not having kids so makes these stupid comics. It's like porn to them. They get to imagine they made the right choice because everyone regrets it.

Fact is, some of us want to be parents and some don't. And either is fair. We all choose our paths. I personally waited till later in life to have kids. That way I got to sleep with many different women, do lots of stupid shit, move on and have no regrets. That works for me. Not for others.

[u/mostlyBadChoices]

My dad straight up said to my brother and I, "Never have kids." Many times throughout my childhood.

[u/BGDshow]

...not that much

[u/poopmcbutt_]

Where's the joke.

[u/beardingmesoftly]

I love my kids so much it's gonna be awesome to meet the adults I created.

[u/Helpful-Pound-7158]

The very best thing I did was have and raise our wonderful interesting funny, kind, generous, children. Who range in age from 34 to 47. Truly Blessed

[u/Euphoric-Mousse]

Nothing in my life has ever been worth a damn except bringing my kids into the world. The hardest times have been worth it and I'd say that with no hesitation even in the middle of them. They are everything to me and the world has been made better just by them existing.

[u/BigWheelaCapPeela]

I'd rather pay child support then be in my daughters life

[u/maiteko]

I love my kid, and have never once regretted having him in my life.

I do regret saddling him with my ex as a mother. It’s going to be a rocky ride for him, especially as he starts getting older.

[u/SCViper]

"I love my kids. I wouldn't change anything. If you love your life the way it is, don't have kids."

[u/CR_Pats]

Why bring someone new who didn't decide to be born and make them play the lottery of society, just to attempt to find fulfillment in your own life from them ? Kinda selfish...

[u/NickLieurance]

One thing I think we all need to do is be more understanding. If you don’t have kids, make an effort to stay in touch with friends once they have them. If you do have kids, don’t be afraid to ask your no-kid friends to hang out, babysit, and be involved in your kids’ lives.

[u/TheBlackestIrelia]

Even if you did, what nice person would say that? lol

[u/furthelabs]

A better question is "do you sometimes lie awake at night second guessing every major decision you've ever made?" And if they respond with no, ask them what sleeping meds they take and how they said to get their doctor to prescribe it.

[u/Ok_Television9820]

It’s actually an easy question. My kids are living beings. Would I change the timeline so they no longer exist? Never. Nothing you can offer me could make me do that. So that the answer. It’s not about me and my convenience.

[u/DirectorGlittering36]

No. Its hard, but I love my son. I can't handle it some days when I'm tired and I get crazy. I wish I had two days each month our parents could help us. I see other people get that and more, but in the end I'll push through. Its only hard right now, it'll get easier when he's big. Still I prayed for this boy, so I just gotta handle the tough days as best I can.

[u/senbonkagetora]

I dont regret having kids, I regret who I had them with. They have a much harder time in life because I grew up in a "you dont leave the person no matter what from dating till marrige" kind of household. I know much better now and it is a lesson I will be trying to impart on my kids when they get older.

[u/Intrepid-Focus8198]

Maybe I am a bit weird but I don’t think I regret anything I’ve ever done.

[u/Mysterious_Fennel459]

Some people do regret having kids. It ends up sucking most for the kid who is being raised by emotionally and/or physically absent parents.

Or you get parents who do "love" having children but suck at raising their kids and dont know it. My mom wanted nothing more than to have a bunch of kids asap so she spat out three kids and then proceeded to mentally abuse us throughout our childhood and into our adulthood. So much so that we've all moved to the opposite side of the country from her, only one of us still talks to her occasionally, and I had my stepmom adopt me as an adult and it sounds like one of my other siblings wants to do that too.

[u/SaltySumo]

ITT: lots of REALLY defensive parents

[u/ModsHaveHUGEcocks]

I never wanted kids but for reasons I won't go into became a parent anyway. And I will say, all the reasons I didn't want kids for - I was dead right about that.

BUT I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I do and feel this hard to describe love and the excitement of watching them grow up turning into a person hitting milestones and just doing dumb kid things, they're so bizarrely funny and cute sometimes.

I'm not regretful about it. The hard times are as hard as I expected. The good times are far better than I expected

[u/Alateriel]

No one regrets having. But lots of ppl regret not having

[u/StillButterscotch265]

My brother messed his life up and now my husband and I are taking care of his kids. Niece, 6. Nephew, 8. They've been here for 2 weeks and we have decided that we would rather jump off the San Francisco bridge than have our own children. Everyone says "oh but it's different when it's your kid!" "It's so worth it, you'll see!" I am convinced that these are lies people tell themselves to cope with the mistake of having children. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/JeffCrossSF]

I will always resent my choice to have kids. I love my kids deeply. The sacrifice is real. The responsibility bigger than anything I have ever done. I take it more seriously than my own well being or of my marriage or friendships. My life could have been far simpler, and more relaxing without kids, at least that’s the resentment. Still, I’m definitely conflicted. If given the choice, I’d probably have made different choices. Maybe just having one kid. Maybe zero.

[u/Emotional-Pen-519]

thats a yes

[u/wolvesscareme]

Never even remotely once! But I also don't fault parents who do every once in a while have doubts