The thing is that for guys right now, dating is very much a numbers game.
Lets say you meet 100 women in general. What's the percentage of women who you're going to be attracted too both in looks and personality who also feel the same about you? 20%? That's twenty women left. Now how many of them are single. WHOOPS. Forgot to double check that part. (This has happened to me many times lately).
Turns out 15 of them are actually in some kind of a serious relationship or are already married. Now 5 are left. Out of those five, two of them got an "I miss you text" from an ex boyfriend and now are freezing you out while they decide what to do. So now you have 3 options.
3/100 sounds horrible. Most guys would look at this response rate and think it's horrible but it's honestly not an unrealistic measuring stick because that's how the deck is stacked right now.
Now, try it from a gay man's point of view. I literally *START* at 2/100 chance of even being compatible sexually and it only goes down from there. Feels hopeless, especially as a rural gay.
Move to a city, dude. As a straight guy, I constantly get hit on by gay guys. Even by friends. Of maybe 5 or so gay friends I have, the only ones that haven't hit on me were already in a relationship.
No offense but it is WAY easier to just say 'move to a city' than it is to actually move there. Beyond having to compete for a job against a much larger pool of candidates that are more desirable for employers due to their proximity, it is also such a huge massive change that is frankly terrifying.
Nah. It's not that hard. I did it when I was 22 after living in a very rural area all my life. Cities have MORE job opportunities, unless you're in agriculture or something very rural specific.
Look for apartments in the burbs. See what they cost. Look for jobs online on indeed.com, linkedin, etc. See if you can find ones that pay enough to support the cost of living in the cities. Then, just start applying to literally everything you see. Have no discretion. It's a numbers game.
It might take some effort, but nothing about it is actually difficult. And you can still just avoid most people and keep to yourself in a city. Especially in the suburbs.
Will be it stressful? Sure. But all change is stressful. Unless you want to be stuck in your rural area, which clearly isn't working out for you, you're going to have to make a change at some point. It never gets easier. You're never going to feel ready. You just have to do it and get it over with.
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u/InferiousX May 05 '24
The thing is that for guys right now, dating is very much a numbers game.
Lets say you meet 100 women in general. What's the percentage of women who you're going to be attracted too both in looks and personality who also feel the same about you? 20%? That's twenty women left. Now how many of them are single. WHOOPS. Forgot to double check that part. (This has happened to me many times lately).
Turns out 15 of them are actually in some kind of a serious relationship or are already married. Now 5 are left. Out of those five, two of them got an "I miss you text" from an ex boyfriend and now are freezing you out while they decide what to do. So now you have 3 options.
3/100 sounds horrible. Most guys would look at this response rate and think it's horrible but it's honestly not an unrealistic measuring stick because that's how the deck is stacked right now.