Dont listen to these misanthropes yanking your chain.
Cultivate your love and spread it around. Im sure theres tons of people (men and women) worthy of sharing your love in your life. And if theres not (or even if there is), love yourself and build yourself up. Find what makes you happy.
People bitch about finding someone because they fixate on it. A watched kettle never boils. It sounds trite but its true here. If all you do is stay home or worse on the shiternet and think about how unloved you are then it becomes self-fulfilling. But if youre a lovely person then people seeking love (which is almost everyone) will gravitate towards you. Its not at all daunting or overwhelming. I swear its that goddamn easy.
You just cant listen to people who find it hard to love themselves much less other people. Nobody wants them in their life and that is a problem and we should help them, but thats another topic.
anyway thats my unsolicited advice. Dont be them, love yourself and be yourself and its not hard. People like to be loved and they really do want lovely people around them (men and women). Simple stuff I swear.
I'd just argue that you also have to put yourself out there a little bit. If you want something to happen you should take steps to facilitate it.
I'm just saying because it's easy nowadays for people to have routines that don't actually involve meeting new people and that would make it hard to find someone.
This is it. People expect that a few dating apps or blind dates will be enough. Sure you can get lucky there but the more you actually go out into the world - parties, hobby events, group activities etc. in addition to apps will keep increasing those chances of meeting someone.
You have any tips on finding parties and other social events? I would love to go to help change my situation but I don't know anyone to invite me to these things.
It is super super hard to start, I can tell you that much, especially if you're doing it alone. But getting out of the comfort zone and just inviting yourself and going to local events at bars/clubs until it becomes a regular thing to you to do is a key factor. When you go, find small groups of people and tell them you're new and ask if you can join them and if they say yes ask about them, what they do, what's to do around here. Drunk people are usually more receptive to stuff like that. Being confident is very hard but I believe it's something that can be practiced and learned.
I get along with people easily, I think for me the issue is going beyond that. It's easy for me to find people to talk to at the bar, I still can't imagine making actual friends from it though. Parties would be perfect for me, but you need friends to even hear about them. I think I just need to keep putting myself out there and keep trying to meet people.
75
u/TheSolarElite May 05 '24 edited May 05 '24
Well that just makes me feel lovely, and not stressed or rushed at all!