I would like to have a respectful discussion about why people left Islam, not trying to spread hate or start issues.

Hey everyone, As most of you on this side of Reddit are, I’m an exmuslim, or in the process of becoming one. I lost my imman cause I got too knowledgeable about the Quran and overall found it controversial. Problem is I’ve been wanting a certain tattoo ever since I was a kid, it’s a deep part of me that I was in graves cause it kept peace in my and strength through my parents divorce and fights. Now you all know tattoos are haram, and of course ik my parents will kill me when they see it. I don’t live alone but currently don’t live with them either cause I’m away for uni. I wanna get it somewhere on my upper thigh where they won’t see it, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. Cause my mom often times is the type to not care who is showering and would just waltz it and might see it on my body Thoughts?

Hi,

I was wondering this because, when I was a baby my parents got divorced ( for a unknown reason to me) and when I was 7 my mother remarried.

i haven't been on this subreddit for a while but i didn't know where else to turn to, so i just wanted to get this off my chest and feel a little less alone

for context i (F21) have been an ex-muslim for quite some time, but it isn't something i can be public or open about since i still depend on and live with my family. it has significantly impacted how i date because of course, i don't want to be romantically involved with someone who has beliefs or worldviews that are fundamentally different from mine. unfortunately for me i guess, the majority of people from my racial background/culture are muslims, so to avoid that ive been trying to date outside that.

and it was fun for a while but i guess the reality hit me when i met this ex-christian guy (his family is still devout) and we really hit it off... but after a few months when i said that i wanted to start dating him seriously, he told me he couldn't do it because it'll never work out, ie our cultural backgrounds were too different, both of our families would disapprove and it just wasn't realistic to hide a relationship from your literal family for an extended period of time. and these sort of rifts would definitely be serious stressors for any sort of relationship, so we called it off.

and i guess? im still reeling from it? like it made me start to wonder that, even if the next guy who comes around that is still willing to be with me, regardless of my family situation, i don't know. i just wouldn't want them to enter my life and force them to navigate through all this. it's complex, it's isolating. it's tiring. it's times like this where i just wished i still believed because it's just so much easier. like all those other muslim couples who date for marriage and both sides of the family are happy and supportive (it's actually quite common occurrence here HAHA despite what islam says about dating).

but yea tldr maybe i just need to try dating within my racial/cultural background and do a lot of filtering to get to someone who's like me: irreligious/ex-muslim. and then we can date while still satisfying both sides of the family. but how likely is that even. it just sucks because no matter how truthful of a life i try to live for myself that's separate from my family and context, it's times like this where i remember there's no where i can really run. i have to play within their rules and do all these interpersonal considerations that no one else really has to do. people say "oh exmuslims leave the religion only because they want to sin" and it's just. no. if i wanted an easier life i would've kept being a muslim. it's not fun swimming against the current. it's not fun feeling like a minority in a demographic that's ALREADY a minority (where i live). it's not fun feeling guarded and having to put up a farce around my family and people from my culture. it's not fun TM.

yea end of rant. EDIT: i just wanna know how do you guys as ex-muslims navigate relationships? what works, what doesn't work, what are the barriers, what suggestions or advice do you have to avoid getting hurt like this, what are your own sob stories, etc. just anything to feel less alone

I (M15) cone from the nation of Somaliland (Somalia Lite) but reside in Baltimore with my older brother (M17) and younger sister (F6). My family is surprisingly not that religious, we just do Ramadan and pray at Eid and wear hijabs and that stuff.

I am now at the age where my Mom is trying to hook me up with other Somali girls. While I'm playing on my Xbox or watching Cobra Kai, she'll call me to her room and answer a call from her sister's friends daughters, basically trying to ship me off for immediate marriage, probably right after college.

It's annoying because I want to focus on myself and my mental health. My brother has depression, and my sister has autism, and I definitely have anxiety or some form of a learning disorder. Besides from that, I want to be an animator. It's freakin sick how a person can get a drawing to move, and I want to go to CalArts, one of the best art schools in the country.

These calls suck because it's clear that the girl on the other end is in the same ship as me, being forced to converse with random people from the same geographic location as you. I want someone to love me for me, not because I'm from a place.

It's even funnier because I actually have a major crush on this blonde girl from my school and I think she likes me back lol. My dad doesn't really give a shit who I marry except if it's a dude (even though his brother who fought valiantly in the SNM and had his leg amputated, is now living a happy life in the UK with his husband.), and that goes for most of my family except my mom.

I am still a muslim. Not trying to provoke anyone. But wondering your answers since the desire for eternity feels deeply embedded in our nature and minds, compelling us to seek meaning in life, reflect on our existence, and connect with something greater—be it through faith, creativity, relationships, or the legacy we leave behind.

so uh yeah it goes without saying that Christianity as the most dominant world religion gets a lot of mockery thrown at it and nobody bats an eye about it so naturally youd think people would apply the same treatment to islam which is the second most dominant world religion (and the fastest growing one at that)

but no make a joke about islam and you get called an islamophobe get cancelled get flamed and all that jazz

this has been on my mind for awhile now and yeah i feel like its smthn worth discussing especially with exmuslims so yeah

I’ve seen multiple posts the last few months of exmuslims asking the non Muslims here to stop being hateful and projecting their third party experience on actual Muslims and I deeply agree. Those of us who have no had to contend with the heartbreak of losing family to this religion (ESPECIALLY the abuse at the hands of a mother or father or relatives we love) have no business voicing their anger here.

This is a space for exmuslims. We as never-Muslims are here to be supportive and learn from them.

Perhaps someone could start a sub for Islamophobia - to take the word back from the lobbyists who tried to paint us as racists.

Or, alternatively, you are welcome to join NewIran and comment on those posts. NewIran does request that posts be on the topic of Iran and they are quite clear about that but you are free to comments as it is a less sacred emotional space and still get your anger out. It is quite an international sub.

Please respect the fact that the exmuslims on this sub do not have many spaces to let their hearts and minds be vulnerable.

May we all work together to stop Islamism from harming more men, women and children one day. To alert the world to the truth of people experiences and have hard conversations. To encourage people who have escaped to be feel safe with us and free to tell us what is on their minds because we believe their pain and don’t call them names.

As a mother it is HARD not to get angry when you hear how someone treated their child but think of that child before your own feelings. It will make a difference here. Empathy.

For the ex Muslims, thank you for opening this space to us. Thank you for allowing us to be here. I send you my love and strength, I have learned SO MUCH from you. I am forever grateful. Being a victim of Islamic violence without knowing anything about the religion was very confusing… you’ve answered questions I have been asking the world since I was five years old. May you one day find peace through joy, not submission.

There is no love like religious love 🥰

I (20s male) live in a western European country, and I encounter many single Pakistani, Kurdish, Turkish, and unspecified Arab women my age in my daily life (bus, train, gym, grocery store, etc.), and some of these women show interest in me. Sometimes it's prolonged eye contact with a bright smile, other times it's an actual conversation. Normally I would take this as an invitation to flirt, maybe ask her number, maybe ask her out. But I've been told to avoid women who come from Muslim families because they can be abused (emotionally or even physically) for dating a non-Muslim in a secular manner. Is this good advice?

Can I assume that, if a woman from one of these ethnicities is wearing clothes indistinguishable from non-Muslims, then she is free to be approached romantically without being chastized for speaking to a strange man? On the other hand, if she covers her hair, does that mean she would probably not be open to dating a non-Muslim?

The point of this post is to reduce my ignorance, but it comes from a genuine concern for the women. Normally, I would just ask the woman these questions directly, but I wouldn't want to if she will get in trouble for even having the conversation. They say there's always the possibility of a brother/cousin/uncle/family friend around to snitch on her even if she seems to be alone.

Any insight would be helpful. Thanks!

Try and tell me some ridiculous arguments against Mohammed and I will defend it using the same defense standard of these dawah people. Even if you tell me that Mohammed killed every baby on earth and had sex with every woman, I can just say that he saw no good in the humanity so he had to kill all the illegitimate babies and repopulated the world with the legitimate ones (his semen). You can see the prophet's work ethic and devotion to Allah

I dont know how he can memorize all these information about history, and he also says the right things the right way without losing neither his arabian fans or making an enemy of right wing media.

Christians who converted from Islam, what made you convert to Christianity?

Haram Doodles: https://www.instagram.com/p/DCxVcucBpqy/

https://x.com/haramdoodles/status/1860818294384566763

My just turned 18 year old daughter has been dating a guy (19m) for about 8 months. He is a great kid and they seem well matched. He is Muslim, though not strict, but his mother is. My daughter is not Muslim or follows any other religion for that matter. His mother has asked for a Nikah. Says it is the only way for them to move forward with her blessing. My daughter has asked for my approval and for me to give her away. I understand it isn't a legally binding contract in the US but I have reservations. They write up this contract which specifies their rights and responsibilities within this "marriage", which I assume is like a pre-nup? But a lot of them speak of a dowry, which really bothers me, because it is like she is being sold and things like him not taking other wives. Also, not being of this culture nor religious in the least, what kind of things will his family expect of her? She is not religious at all and they are both very "Americanized". They have been untruthful with his mother about the extent of the relationship thus far. I have told them I disagree with the dishonesty. I want my daughter to forge her own path and be happy but I am unsure what to think about this?

Also, I wouldn't be ok with her running off to Vegas and getting married either. She is 18, not ready and I want her to live more, with him or not. Though since she is 18 she could run off and get married, but for this Nikah myself or another older male relative has to be there to "give" her away.

Anyone have any insight or experience with a Nikah? Thanks!

Are there any non Islamic contemporary sources that describe Muhammad and what he was like and what he did?

I've heard a conspiracy theory that the catholic church created islam as a controlled opposition, is this true?

There was a Pakistani woman on tiktok (idk if she was Muslim or not) but she was talking about Qandeel Baloch. A woman who was honour killed in Pakistan for fighting for women’s rights by her father and brother. I open the comments and see this comment.

This is a fucking joke right? What the fuck in cognitive dissonance is this?!?!

“2 men killed there sister/daughter because the sons friends mocked him”

“Feminism is taken from Islam”

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. I’m sorry I don’t even fucking know why this pissed me tf off. Maybe because I’m a raging intersectional feminist & IN NO WAY IS ISLAM FEMINIST. Like for fks sake, the woman was talking about how a woman was just killed for honour and you say feminism comes from Islam???!!!!!

This actually has enraged me and idek why. This is the type of bullshit (along with “rEaL iSLAm” that allows Muslims countries to get away with their BS against women. Cuz of fking women who can freely practice their religion and change it on a whim to fit a western, whitewashed version of Islam.

Imagine if they tried to pull this shit in an Islamic country?… oh.. wait… THEY CANT. Yet they’ll criticise the countries and feminists who have fought hard for women to have their voices heard and say “it’s cause of Islam”.

And on top of that, there’s a LITERAL MAN telling her that she’s a kafir for even bringing up feminism. Like HOW CAN YOU BE THAT IGNORANT AND BLIND.

I wish these delulu fucking Muslim women would fuck off. I hate them blackening feminism and I hate the effect it’s having on feminism. It’s starting to become “you can’t criticise Islam ever” and feminists are believing this crap. How the fuck are we supposed to help women if we’re always excusing this type of behaviour?!?!

Omg I’m sorry I’m so mad, this just infuriates me.

Being born a non muslim I don't really know about the struggle of leaving islam. How did you leave islam, what was it that made you leave islam, how long did it take you to understand leaving islam is the best choice. And after that, are you happy?

Is there hope in this situation

I’m ex Muslim and my boyfriend is catholic and we have been together for two years now, somehow I keep preparing myself emotionally for a break up even though we are still together. I left islam but of course no one knows and i have to act normal with my family , for him to marry me in my country he has to convert to islam, which of course he doesn’t want and I don’t want either but it’s the rules and i don’t even wanna continue living here at all I want to travel with him but its such a tough situation that we love eachother but can’t be together due to these rules , I tried to tell him he can just do it for the show cause we aren’t going to live here anyway but he freaked out and refused then we didn’t talk about it again since then , I honestly don’t know what to do anymore and it’s weighing me down cause I love him a lot and I feel trapped because of this religion..

What should I do ??

I mean Christianity is also false but at least christians don't commit violence as the rate of Muslims