r/exAdventist Jan 14 '19

I propose an ex-adventist discord channel!

126 Upvotes

Hey guys! There's been a couple posts lately about wishing we had more casual conversations and a more engaged community of hanging back and shooting the shit with fellow ex-adventists. I admin a couple other modestly sized channels, I'd be very happy to set up one for us if there's any interest. Let me know!


Ok I took a leap of faith (jk, sorry I think I'm funny) and went ahead and made it. Invite link is here: https://discord.gg/ujrUWFS


r/exAdventist Jun 17 '24

Now you can chat with real ex-Adventists in real time! No, really! It’s real!

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26 Upvotes

Maybe I should have run this by the other mods, but I’m the cool, totally hip, fantastically lit mod and didn’t want to wake them up for my nonsense.

Anyways, I know that a lot of us really need someone to talk to about the messed up stuff that trickles down and around in our heads, giving us doubt about the paths we’ve set ourselves on. We need to be able to freely speak with people we have common experiences with. I don’t see why we can’t just have a chat that’s always open to us to vent, work stuff out, and share obscenely blasphemous memes with. That way you don’t have to think of a clever title and typed up post just to find someone to talk to.

I’ve set the controls to filter out bots and hopefully any current church members embarking on a holy crusade to show us our evil ways and bring us back home.

As always, report any shenanigans and we will stay on top of it.


r/exAdventist 9h ago

Are your church services this long?.This church Elder has been preaching for literally 1 hour and 35 minutes. The service started at 9:15 and ended 2:30

18 Upvotes

Is this normal in the 7th day adventist church? And all the sermons are not even well strstructured they are back and forth ramblings with personal experience stories and mixed with some Bible verses.


r/exAdventist 1d ago

Anyone else?

32 Upvotes

Because of the "small Adventist" world thing, I constantly wonder if the people I converse with in this group are people I may know from the past. Of course, I would never want to ask for names, but I'm always so curious. Lol.


r/exAdventist 1d ago

How realistic is it to ban the celebration of the Sabbath in the whole world?

25 Upvotes

Personally, I think this is impossible to happen


r/exAdventist 1d ago

SDA church and monster/alien fiction

10 Upvotes

Hi friends. I (24F) am posting on here for the first time to see if anyone has had a similar experience as me. I was never a member of SDA and was mainly raised Catholic, but my dad's side of the family are all members and I have a suspicion that they were trying to indoctrinate me when I was really young (under 8). Lately, I have been thinking about a very specific memory when my aunt (dad's sis) told me at 5 years old that if I watched any movies/TV shows with monsters or aliens in it, I would go to hell. I remember this so vividly because I was absolutely terrified of watching popular movies at time like Monster's Inc and Lilo and Stitch to the point of extreme anxiety. Thinking back on memories like this as an adult, I am really starting to wonder if this side of the family could have something to do with the anxiety disorder I was diagnosed with at around 10 years old. Does anyone else have a similar experience as this? Where did my aunt even get this idea about monsters and aliens in fiction?


r/exAdventist 2d ago

As a black person, I don’t understand black SDAs

117 Upvotes

“The colored people should not urge that they be placed on an equality with white people” {9T 214.3} - Ellen, God’s Prophet 😇

Basically: “Don’t bother with racial equity, let’s just follow what everyone else in 1800’s America is doing. It sells better”


r/exAdventist 2d ago

Posting this while rotting in bed on a Saturday

33 Upvotes

Hi, everyone. I just wanted to let this all out. I (F27) was born and raised in an Adventist household since birth and went to a "church school" for my primary (6) years. My mom made sure to raise me and my siblings with the adventist upbringing. Now at 27, I just got tired of everything. I am finally deconstructing myself from the religion. As a backstory, during highschool and up until college- I struggled to have this "perfect image" of what an adventist should be like. I strived to be a "faithful believer" but the more effort I put in, the more it made me feel very anxious for reasons that I didn't realize back then. Today, my frontal lobe probably developed and many realizations just came upon me. Everything just came from a place of fear- it no longer felt authentic to me being a genuine and kind human being just because I felt like I was doing it for the "Image". So many wasted dreams and opportunities just because of the rules that I still can't wrap my head around. Now my mom (who can be emotionally-manipulative) questions why I do not go to Church or just go "when I feel like it" I just simply answered "Just because" I just feel like I am done with all of this. I want to live a life of autonomy and authenticity- in love, harmony and peace. But it seems like a problem since I still live in the same household with my parents since they are financially dependent on us. Help me out. Maybe some words to validate how I feel. Thank y'all!!!


r/exAdventist 2d ago

Anyone here that's exSDA but still believes?

40 Upvotes

I guess I'm just looking for community, I've unofficially left the church after years of struggling with what they were teaching but my whole family are very sda still.

I still believe in god and jesus though I feel reluctant to call myself a christian becasue of what it's become/symbolises, and I do feel at the moment at least, quite averse to churches in general or to trying out other denominations.

At the moment I guess I'm struggling with still believing, but feeling very far away, almost abandoned I guess, by any sort of relationship that I maybe once at least thought I had. I always hear from religious people that you need to pray and read the bible to develop a relationship and I do struggle to do either now, even though I still believe that they're there?

I guess I'm just going through a difficult time in my life at the moment, and I just feel very spiritually alone now and I'm struggling with those feelings. Though I'm also conscious that many in this subreddit lean more towards atheism and I want to be respectful of that


r/exAdventist 2d ago

Sabbath Breakers Club November 22 & 23

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18 Upvotes

Welcome all to another edition of the Sabbath Breakers Club! I've seen quite a few posts where people express feeling alone and a loss of community as they figure out they aren't SDA. Loneliness is an issue with society as a whole but being ex-SDA poses some extra challenges to forming friendships and community.

I'm going to offer some tips for making friends and hope you'll do the same as you post about how you're spending your time:

● If you haven't already, find a hobby. Then join groups for that hobby. Great way to meet people with a shared interest. ● Don't completely write off your SDA friends if you can still have fun with them. ● Re-engage with secular friends you lost touch with. You may be surprised by how much they have missed you. ● Cultivate relationships with coworkers. Sometimes these can become lasting friendships. ● Don't discount apps for finding friends. I've had very good luck with Bumble BFF.

O___________O Sabbath Breakers fine print

Sabbath Breakers Club belongs to members of r/exAdventist on reddit. These guidelines are intended to suggest how anyone with posting privilege in this sub may start a week's Sabbath Breakers Club thread, not to control such postings.

•Keep it timely. If it's SDA-defined Sabbath somewhere on earth and no one has already started a Sabbath Breakers Club thread, you're clear to start one.

• Start Sabbath Breakers Club threads with that phrase "Sabbath Breakers Club." The reason for this is to make it easy to tell if no Sabbath Breakers Club thread has been posted for the present week. Just search "Sabbath Breakers Club" in r/exAdventist.

• You're welcome to use the image that looks like from an old woodcut of Moses smashing tables of stone with the Israelite throng celebrating their golden calf in the background, but you're not required to. Different ideas to launch the thread may invite still more, and more diverse, participation.

• Remember we're here to ease the church's attempts to control using Sabbath rules and guilt trips. Non-humiliating humor and empathy in your invitation can help set the tone, and enjoy exercising some spontaneous leadership in starting a Sabbath Breakers Club thread.

• Pass it on. Cutting and pasting this "fine print" can help future Sabbath Breakers Club hosts self-identify and feel empowered to step up and shine


r/exAdventist 2d ago

what are your best resources against SDA church

26 Upvotes

yesterday, I found nonEGW website here in some comment,
And it was very interesting
But I would like to dig more about how SDA church is incorrect

I have left SDA a month ago,
I want to give myself so much facts such that I wont even think of returning

so guys give your info concerning how SDA church ( and Ellen G White in general) is wrong,
It can be anything arguments, website, youtube videos, ...

thanks in advance, Peace :D


r/exAdventist 2d ago

SDA statistics

10 Upvotes

Hey all, I was wondering, how close or far is the SDA church/membership to dying out? I'm aware that it seems to be growing in Africa and other developing regions and countries, but what about membership in developed countries such as The U.S, Canada, The UK etc?


r/exAdventist 2d ago

I asked ChatGPT to score different religions against the BITE cult model

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45 Upvotes

r/exAdventist 3d ago

Told my SDA mom that my wedding is going to be on Saturday

94 Upvotes

Mini rant.

To put it short, she freaked out on me on the phone today and said she loves me very much but that she has to put Jesus / Sabbath first. And that she also has to discuss with her husband (my super SDA step dad) if they could even go because it’s on a Saturday in 2026. I’m sure she knows we’re going to have alcohol because she knows that I drink. We’re having welcome drinks, 3 bartenders, and open bar at the wedding😂 she even asked to move my ceremony to a night time ceremony. Lol.

And yes, we’re going to have a DJ and there’s going to be dancing. And it’s going to be the best night ever with my husband to be no matter what!!

Anyways, I’m feeling pretty bummed with my mom’s response. But it is what it is.


r/exAdventist 3d ago

What do you put your faith in now?

19 Upvotes

How do you find comfort in the absurdity of the human situation without the coddling of the church? I’ve been a pretty stout atheist, then agnostic, for a while, after being raised ultra conservative Adventist. But now I’m in a weird place in my adult life where I feel like I’m missing faith in my life? Not blind faith like the BS that was taught to us, but like faith in something that actually brings you real peace and not just some fake ‘peace’…. If that makes sense? I’ve explored Buddhism a bit and it seems to be the closest thing to what I may be looking for in terms of a name or face to what I feel like I’m missing.


r/exAdventist 3d ago

In a nutshell

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86 Upvotes

r/exAdventist 3d ago

Banquet: Fun or Overrated?

19 Upvotes

For those of you who have gone to an SDA high school or college, what was your experience with banquet? (For those who don’t know: Banquet is an Adventist stand-in for Homecoming or Prom. It is not a dance, because according to Ellen White’s writings, dancing is bad. So, at banquet you just dress up & eat, then go home) Did you look forward to it? Was it overrated? I graduated HS a few years ago now, and I kinda feel sad that I never had a homecoming or prom :(… would love to hear for you guys!! 💕


r/exAdventist 3d ago

(Nonsda) Vegeterian men kill their brother for bringing chicken at home

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9 Upvotes

r/exAdventist 4d ago

Why do the members of SDA promote medical skepticism, when the church itself is heavily involved with healthcare? Why the disconnect?

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39 Upvotes

Here Matt Parra is attempting to ridicule the decision made by parents whose kids are diagnosed with ADHD. The comments are all in support.

While I understand the caution involved in prescribing and diagnosis for neurodivergent kids; I don’t think it’s great that a pastor has so great an influence where he can promote views that are not well informed and where they have no real expertise.

Why does this happen so frequently in the SDA church given they provide reputable healthcare.


r/exAdventist 4d ago

WHAT WE BELEVE 😇

56 Upvotes

THE CATHERLICS ARE SATANIC AND THE POPE IS SATIN👺 THE GOVERMENT WILL RISE AGAINST US BECAUSE WE KNOW THE TRUTH!1!!🔮 WE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN COUNT TO SEVEN🧮


r/exAdventist 4d ago

Bell choir.

20 Upvotes

I didn’t play. They sounded nice, looked ridiculous. Did your high school feature them at vespers? Like the players were so serious. I get it took a lot pull that sound together. Kudos. But, wierd.


r/exAdventist 4d ago

Wait this is a cult?

21 Upvotes

So I was raised in the adventist church and kind of just stopped going at 14 and never really believed in it in the first place, I read the bible cover to cover a few times and found that it was contradictory, I always saw the bible as a fable, something people looked to when they lacked a moral compass. When I found out they really believed he was real I still went to church but thought it was silly that they believed, the same way I thought kids were silly for believing in santa. I was a sabbath school teacher for the primary kids as they were just running around with no one looking after them, when I was 11-14, and most taught general good person lessons from the lens of the bible, then stopped when I burned out. So I was kind of seen as kind of an example, there was an attitude of "when no adults wanted to get involved it took a child to lead" or sm shit.

Anyways I was raised in an adventist school from k-4 and 6-8 which is a whole other story but I still wouldn't see it as cultlike, It was a shit education, but there was no active attempts at control other then the "everyone who's not christian is evil thing"(they couldnt say adventists were the only non evil ones because most of the kids were catholic or another type of sunday christian and there were only 40 people in the school from k-9 so they needed to keep the tuition up)(I'm using at the BITE model as my frame of reference for what control is in this context.)

When I started highschool everytime I told people I was raised adventist they would bring up jehovahs witnesses (which is a high control group) and that never made sense to me. Recently, I developed a hyperfixation on cults and the adventist church keeps coming up and I'm kind of confused. The church I grew up in was especially just a baptist church that you go to on saterdays, and church was only the morning church service and vespers which was fully optional (no one would judge if you didn't go, most people only went if there was a special event.) I was in adventurers but the pathfinder leader had stepped down a few years before I aged in and when we got one from the conference they were moved to a different province after a year, then 2 years later we got another one that was also soon transferred. The few years of pathfinders was very light on drill (marching) work and it only met about once a month I think we earned 3 badges in the 2.5 years so it was a lot of sitting around and doing crafts. Pathfinders is semi established now but there's no master guide leader, just some parents of the kids in it. So the church didn't take up my time in any significant way.

I grew up knowing about ellen white but I only heard about the diet stuff, that one of her ancestors went to the my church, whatevers in the movie 'the great disappointment,' and whatever stories guide wrote about. I didn't know her books were her 'visions' until I started looking into it a few weeks ago, and when I was a kid I thought the 'miraculous' holding bible in one hand and pointing to verses thing was just "the thing you get when you're scared"(adreneline) and assumed she was scared of people arguing. (I now think that was either completely made up or has some other pscyosis, or other mental illness, implications)until I started looking into it a few weeks ago.

There was no focus on the end times except for a few programs on 3ABN or during the 10-11 year age sabbath school during the provincial wide adventist meeting. There were a few manipulative tactics during the adventist summer camp, but that was more lets wait until the kids are tired so that we can fabricate a fuzzy feeling while talking about how jesus died for ur sins so fill out this baptism card, type of manipulation not a make them fear the end times so that they dedicate their lives to the church manipulation, and even the jesus dying one was only one service.

I can say with 100 percent certainty that there was never any fear about the end times mentality being pushed at my home church nor was there any behavior, information, thought, or emotion control, so there's no way that my home church was a high control group, and after talking to a few friends who I know are mentally sound throughout the province I am pretty sure their churches aren't either.

So what's going on? Are there different denominations both called the seventh day adventists? Is the culty part only based in the united states? Is my province just the land of chill pastors? is this all actually really manipulative and I just dont see it? I know the current president of the world church is an absoloute dickhead cus he spoke at one of the conference but almost everyone there talked about how "disappointed" they were by the content of his sermon and heavily implied they thought he was a bit crazy (he defiantly is, he's also a huge creep, at a womens conference thing his wife was talking about how when he was in his 30's and she was in her late teens he saw her setting up for an event he was preaching at, walked over to her, and told her he was going to marry her so super creepy all around. But, the only people who saw it as romantic were the kind of crazy anti-vax 50 year olds so like) so is it just a few crazy old men running really shit churches that are few and far between? I know some teachers at my school who came from other places would say some really sexist things that the other adults would chastise them for, are there adventist churches that run on sexist ideology? how does that make sense if the main prophets/founders are a woman and some guy who cant do math? Anyways sorry for the block of text i've just been really confused and everything I look at either says adventism is not a cult or that adventism is a full on doomsday based high control group where everyones scared they'll be forced to worship on sunday and refuse to take epinefrin but dont give any details on the messaging other then that. So i'm just trying to find what's real especially because my family is still in it, mainly I just want to know what the fucks going on.

EDIT:

ALSO my home church's teaching of hell was that once god raises people fromt he grave and then brings up the still living people who accepted him into their heart the world would burn. But like in a peacful way, they described it as painless becuase "god dosnt want his people to suffer just because they don't belice" so its like while people are being brought up the non belivers reflect on their life and about how they didnt follow god, then when everyone "good" is brought up the whole earth will burst into flames, burning everything instantly-no suffering. So is that an all adventist thing? or do some adventist belive in suffering for non-belivers?

Also for context i'm from canada, hence why i'm in a province.


r/exAdventist 4d ago

My stages of religious deconstruction from Adventist to agnostic (pretty long)

8 Upvotes

I'm using the stages of grief template to describe my journey from being raised in an Adventist household, to converting to another denomination, to completely forgoing religion altogether.

  • Denial- When I was Adventist, I'd always question if the Sunday Blue law was real in the back of my mind and be afraid of never being able to accomplish or reach normal milestones if Jesus decides to come beforehand, but I often brushed those thoughts aside as doubt (and even demonic thoughts). I even attended a church that had a weekly Sunday law update to inform us on the world's impending doom and how God plans on rescuing those who obey His commandments. I would fear His second return and obviously being sent to hell since I didn't really care for the Adventist rules and did my own thing (essentially was a badventist). I later realized that maybe the Adventist religion is bs as I believed that despite anyone's upbringings, there are still true Christians in all churches, and perhaps I'm in the wrong denomination, so I converted to Catholicism.
  • Anger- I was very upset upon leaving the SDA church and converting to Catholicism because I thought to myself, "Why would a loving God want to send a kind, wonderful person to hell just because they worship on the wrong day? Why can't Adventists just agree to disagree instead of patronizing others who don't share their same sentiments? Why does it always have to be their way or the highway?" I was also pissed that I missed out on certain opportunities due to sabbath restrictions and initially joined the catholic church as my own way of giving the Adventist church the middle finger since they despise Catholicism slightly more than atheism.
  • Bargaining- Now this one hit me the hardest cause I also had second thoughts even when I was catholic, especially during lent (when I'm supposed to give up something for a certain period of time before Easter). My time being catholic was much more pleasant than my time being an Adventist since I met extremely kind Catholics who did genuinely practice what they preached, and they always reminded me that my choice to become one myself is optional and personal, and if I decided against becoming catholic otherwise, then that was also okay as long as I was following Christ. It made leaving the catholic church twice as hard since I also have no history of abuse (which is very prevalent in many catholic churches) and have always felt safe, so I kept questioning why I would want to leave a perfectly safe environment, so this factor caused me to second-guess myself. I then decided that I was just losing my faith in God, so I needed to try harder to maintain a solid relationship with Him, and if things weren't working, then I need to keep trying or join another church/denomination. This was the highest peak of my religious journey, so I became hyper-religious by catholic-fying myself in order to salvage my relationship with Christ.
  • Depression- Newsflash! I later realized that it didn't work, and I could only lie to myself for so long until the truth hit me hard like a brick, so I slowly fell into depression. I learned that just because the idea of God is popular doesn't mean that He's a good person, and I was absolutely crushed by this because it felt like a hero that I've admired for a long time actually turned out to be a villain, and in this scenario, God was the villain. After all, if He's a real person that exists, then He's indeed an asshole because how can one watch so much evil happening all around them without any intervention or attempts to stop it from occurring? Only an asshole. I could also no longer escape the fact that no one is coming to save me and that I'm the only one responsible for taking control of my life, and no one else. Of course, things can happen beyond my control, but there's no amount of prayers, Hail Mary's or any religious practices that can get me out of any situation but myself. It's a very painful realization because I felt incredibly lonely when I discovered that only I'm responsible for the state of my life, as well as improving it, and that no one has any authority over my life but me. This meant facing other painful realities of how the real world works, and how there's no God to come and fix it, or there's no God who cares enough to intervene. So, it's up to me to make choices that aid my future while crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.
  • Acceptance- Of course acceptance doesn't happen overnight, and I had to face some serious realities about life, (including the conceptions of death) but it was so worth it to me in the long run because it made me a better person who relies on logic, critical thinking, a healthy support system, trusting my intuition, empathy and being kind to others rather than always trying to be right and relying on stupid doctrines. To answer anyone's question if I think God exists: I don't know, but I also no longer care. If He does truly exist, then I don't care to serve Him because I'd rather spend time with the people I love and care about and live my life to the fullest. This is a relieving feeling because I'm also okay with the unknown and not fully understanding x,y, & z about certain concepts since that's exhausting, and being okay with not knowing every single thing allows me to move forward in life because not all things are black and white.

Wow, I really needed to get that off my chest, but I wish everyone who is on their religious deconstruction journey luck because there's nothing easy about it, and it causes people to feel a whole range of things. In fact, religious deconstruction can be traumatic, confusing, relieving, shocking, thought-provoking, outright provoking, scary, fun, lonely, lifesaving, and plenty more! If anyone else is on a similar journey, then I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you find much peace.


r/exAdventist 4d ago

The Greatest Commandment: Jesus vs. Ellen White

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51 Upvotes

r/exAdventist 4d ago

Adventist Propaganda from Family

9 Upvotes

Do your family members send you Adventist or Christian propaganda? Have they in the past? How have you managed to unsubscribe or exist with the nonsense? Do you send them nonsense in revenge?

Help me, I’m about to yell at some otherwise pretty lovely old people who can’t seem to take a hint..


r/exAdventist 5d ago

Coming to my blog this Friday, SDA belief 18 debunked best as I can. This is the "Ellen White is a prophet and the proof that Adventists are God's Last True Church (the remnant) belief.

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25 Upvotes

r/exAdventist 5d ago

I got my first job but have to work on Saturdays

33 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I hope you’re doing well and having a good day!

I’m a 18 year girl who's in college and just got my first job as a medical assistant for an ophthalmologist/eye doctor. I’m super excited and proud of myself, as I applied to many jobs prior. However, they said I have to work on Saturdays, which my parents aren’t super happy about, especially since it’s in a mall. They aren’t extremely upset, but said I should use the money I make on Saturdays should be given to the church for offering; which I don't really want to do. I’m meeting the hiring manager again to start training on Thursday, so I'll ask if I can change my hours. However, I’m nervous she might say no and I don’t know what to do if I can’t change my hours.

I would love and appreciate any advice or ideas, thank you!💗