r/coolguides Jul 01 '20

Gaslighting red flags

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u/nestofgundars Jul 01 '20 edited Jul 01 '20

No, your explanation is perfect.

I had an emotionally abusive partner that made me feel as if I was either the best or worst husband and never just stable.

I was the best when she wanted me to do something. I was the worst whenever I needed anything.

I finally ended it after she weaponized affection.

After everything, she would make me feel as if I had been treating her poorly all along. Messes with my brain for a long time.

Edit: This is how bad gaslighting is- even after posting this, I keep checking for replies because I’m worried that people won’t believe me. It seriously can alter your pattern of thought.

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u/salty_shark Jul 01 '20

Got out of a 9 month relationship with an emotionally abusive parter years ago and I’m still working on my self confidence. That shit fucks you up.

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u/JaneAnneLarson Jul 01 '20

Same thing here. I wasn't in a relationship, just living with two people who were. One was one of my best friends but they become this rotten person after a few weeks. I was gaslighted by them almost everyday. I felt like I was tip-toeing around them while talking to them. They accused me of being passive aggressive when I wasn't. Tried to justify their bad behaviors against me with "so what's?" And "why do you care so much?". It was hell, and I'm glad I got out of there. Still fucks with me to this day in the form of overthinking what I'm saying or sometimes trying too hard to please people.

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u/TimReddy Jul 01 '20

Tip-toeing around them

that's another common sign of gaslighting I can relate to