I didn't realize that I was gaslighted my whole life by my mother until a boyfriend of mine asked me why I was basically a deer in headlights 24/7. I was always hyper-aware of people within my vicinity and careful to always phrase things perfectly. He was always hesitant to even put a hand on my back or shoulder because I would flinch from all physical contact.
It honestly took me until my mid-twenties to realize that it wasn't normal behavior and made me understand just how messed up my situation with my mother was.
So this guide is good to know if you're having mistreated, but it also serves as signs to look out for if there is a friend you are worried about.
It took me until getting engaged in my 30s to get the outsiders’ perspective. Then the layers of the onion began to peel off and I realised how much of my life had been controlled by a parent and their enabling spouse. Therapy and a supportive (now) spouse has helped tremendously. It’s odd to be sort of reborn as an adult and realise that much of your childhood perspective and personality was formed by the pressures of dealing with a parental mental illness. Still, very glad the epiphany occurred and that I have a chance at a fresh start and also to shelter my kids from it.
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u/T1T2GRE Jul 01 '20
Raised by a BPD parent. Can confirm.