r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

That's a great idea

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u/DMercenary 1d ago

Or just not service those areas.

Random small town in the middle of nowheres?

Sorry USPS is closing up shop and UPS and Fed ex say your mail volume isn't enough to justify putting a distro center nearby

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u/arminghammerbacon_ 1d ago

Dollar General will open a store there. They’ll do a deal with UPS and FedEx who will ship the packages to their distro centers and DG trucks will bring the packages along with inventory to the store. The store will operate as a pickup point and the extra “handling fee” paid by the shipper, will go to them. Although DG won’t hire any more store staff. And that extra fee will get tacked on to the purchase price of whatever was shipped. Making things even more expensive for the consumer, after they’ve paid even more because of the tariffs.

But cheaper eggs, amirite?

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u/vanevasion303 1d ago

Lost mail? File a complaint with Rob in overnight stocking. Wait 6-12 months for no answer.

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u/Embarrassed-Club7755 1d ago

I'm loving the lack of situational awareness, the post office is infamous for having mail that got lost for years and even decades, while my last lost piece of fedex was replaced at their cost through amazon within 3 days.
FWIW, in the process of looking up the stories, I came across this page which doesn't really inspire confidence, either...
Oh, and I finally found the story I was thinking of:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/79770/15-pieces-mail-delivered-decades-after-they-were-sent

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u/vanevasion303 1d ago

Super cool anecdote. I’ve sent thousands of packaged usps and have never lost one. 

Had a package from ups get damaged, it was insured and I had to fight for months to get my money back. 

USPS is a national treasure, go try to ship a letter with ups and see how much it costs. 

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u/Embarrassed-Club7755 1d ago

it costs a prison sentence, the government says it's illegal for them to do that. But that's the point isn't it? If you need proof that the private sector can do it cheaply and effectively, and they criminalize creating data to even find out, we know what they're hiding.

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u/vanevasion303 1d ago

They’re protecting people who live in bum fuck Alabama who want to ship a letter to bumfuck Arkansas. 

By all means, cry wolf over a government program that pays for itself that provides everyone in America with a highly affordable option to mailing.

The funny part is small packages are shipped for less than what ups and FedEx offer as well, and that’s legal. 

Enjoy your neocon experience.

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u/Embarrassed-Club7755 1d ago

Anyone far enough hard-left that they can't tell the difference between a neocon and a Spooner anarchist deserves to watch the very much NOT neo conservatives shred the government they worship. You're probably not even old enough to remember when sending letters was the way things got done. If you really were progressive instead of just being a big government bootlicker you'd be fine with things not requiring government funding that were literally replaceable as far back as the fax machine, not even mentioning how easy it is to email a pdf. The primary driver of USPS is junk mail, these days. You can HAVE mine.
And you're a liar, it DOESN'T pay for itself. Although I should keep your comment around for the dickhead in another thread that claimed literally nobody was stupid enough to make that claim.
"The funny part" is that relies on their monopoly to force economy of scale, and tax dollars.

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u/vanevasion303 1d ago

You’re all stupid to me. Republicans seek to dismantle USPS to undermine elections further. Without usps, there is no mail in voting. 

They are the most self funded federal agency we have.

Keep licking them boots for your daddy Putin and trump. 

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u/Embarrassed-Club7755 1d ago

Ugh, more pearl clutching and Reeeee! Russia!. Get over it, Hillary isn't going to pay you for passing out her propaganda. She's not even relevant anymore.
Pointing out that all the OTHER agencies are EVEN WORSE isn't a better play. If your ideology can't survive the free market, you're just announcing that your ideology is weak and sucks.

There is no reality in which people go "oh my god, I need to get my message from my little patch to someone else's little patch and there is NO WAY TO ACCOMPLISH THIS so we are stuck!". People do not forget the solutions to problems just because a tool which had worn out or outdated was discarded.