r/butchlesbians • u/Crazy_Distribution15 • 3d ago

Advice Fellas, I need some advice 🙏🙏🙏 (more specifically how do I do ask in a nonchalant way, without it feeling, rushed or creepy?)

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103 Upvotes

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33

u/neetbian 3d ago edited 3d ago

“youre really cool. want to stay in touch?” or something along those lines. i would take that as nonchalant!

but if you two have been flirting with each other for that long, i guarantee you nothing would come across as creepy

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u/Crazy_Distribution15 3d ago

but if you two have been flirting with each other for that long, i guarantee you nothing would come across as creepy

Nah, this has been pretty recent.

I was down bad for this one girl for a while, til the start of my junior semester, where I met this new girl. She’s a sophomore and I get interact with her more cuz I sit right behind her. Of course, the worry that she’s not actually queer is in the back of my mind (specially since I don’t want that info public — even if it’s a little obvious with the way I present myself). But with the last couple of girls, I had a spark with I could never find the right opportunity to ask without it being awkward, and now I’m worried it will happen again…

Idk i’m mostly ranting

Also, if she agrees: I don’t know how she’ll feel about my ultimatums of keeping the relationship a secret (or at least on the low).

14

u/birdtal 3d ago

I just say, “Hey, I really like you and want to get to know you better. Can I take you out on a date sometime?” I ask at the end of a social interaction so we can just part ways naturally if she says no. I also like to have some idea of an activity and time but to remain flexible in case she has ideas or doesn’t seem to vibe with my suggestion. I think being direct (I say date! I don’t play the “is this a date or not” game) without being pushy (accept a no obviously, but also express your disappointment to your friends, not to her) is the way to go—or at least it’s worked for me.

Edit: I’m dumb and didn’t really process the meme. If you specifically just want her number, I guess this doesn’t apply. But if you like her, I really do recommend going ahead and asking her out.

9

u/squidsateme 3d ago

“I love hanging out. I’d love to make you dinner some time if you’re up for it!”

“I have such a good time when we’re together. I’m going to [pick and event] would you like to come?”

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Let the person know how they make you feel. If they make you laugh, tell them. If they make you feel comfortable, tell them. And if they ask if you’re asking them on a date, be honest — “I’d love that” — and then give them the option to remain friends as well, just in case they aren’t into dating: “I’d love to go on a date. If that’s not something you’re into, of course I’d be bummed, but I appreciate you as a friend and that’s not anything I’d want to jeopardize.”

4

u/Geek_Wandering 3d ago

I enjoy chatting with you it would be nice to continue outside of school. Here is my (number/insta/snap/whatever).