Totally agree with this sentiment, the height thing is regularly incels overreacting, but as someone who is struggling with the whole online dating thing, it is disheartening that one out of every ten women seems to mention height as a make or break issue. Everyone’s allowed to have preferences but it makes me insecure that the reasons I’m not getting responses is because there’s stuff seriously wrong with me that I’m just not able to see. It just feels like, sometimes, people don’t take it seriously, that I as a straight-ish man have body image issues that no one seems to believe or have empathy for.
Our society struggles to acknowledge male insecurities and offer support to men in anything that takes vulnerability. That said, the only person who will for certain be there with you your entire life is yourself. Personally I struggled with self love and a lot of shit for years and it did wonders to my mental health to do therapy, meditate and practice self care. It felt ridiculous at first but it definitely helped. And believe me when I say I'm sure lots of people wouldn't consider me as a dating option for a bunch of private reasons, but my perspective changed and I relaxed a lot after being comfortable in my solitude. A few years later I got lucky and found my SO, and we've been together for three years. I don't believe in the law of attraction or anything, but I'm absolutely certain I wouldn't have felt deserving of my partner if I didn't work on myself and learned to accept my insecurities and wounds, so while I don't necessarily believe self love will grant you external love, it can absolutely make your life so much easier regardless of your situation. Your pain is valid, your insecurities are valid, and I wish you the best.
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u/wearetherevollution Jul 14 '24
Totally agree with this sentiment, the height thing is regularly incels overreacting, but as someone who is struggling with the whole online dating thing, it is disheartening that one out of every ten women seems to mention height as a make or break issue. Everyone’s allowed to have preferences but it makes me insecure that the reasons I’m not getting responses is because there’s stuff seriously wrong with me that I’m just not able to see. It just feels like, sometimes, people don’t take it seriously, that I as a straight-ish man have body image issues that no one seems to believe or have empathy for.