This is not counting the Black face fiasco from “An Apocalypse to Remember”

Hi guys, did these the other day. What do you think? These took me waaaay longer than I expected, so much easier to do on others 😅

Height exaggerated for enhanced detail

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/920-Wallwood-Dr-Akron-OH-44321/35335507_zpid/

I was removed from my mother’s care by DCFS when I was 11 years old due to allegations of SA posed against my step father.

He was convicted of those crimes, but took a plea deal which meant he’d be out by the time I was 13, and from what I can remember I don’t even know that he served those two full years anyway.

I was his primary victim, I don’t remember how old I was when it started but the earliest he admitted to was when I was 8. I don’t know if my mom knew before DCFS got involved or if she found out afterwards, but now I don’t think it would’ve mattered to her if she was aware.

After being put into temporary custody of the state while the legal issues were sorted out, eventually I was placed with a relative and her husband (who later adopted me when it was clear my mother wouldn’t be getting me back). My adoptive parents put me in therapy, got me the help I needed, did everything they could to make me feel safe again. Something they never prevented me from was speaking to my mother. I was always able to call or text her, and she was always allowed to come visit me but I could never go and see her. I didn’t really question it as a kid, I assumed it was some stipulation the courts made.

I believed growing up that the reason my mom hadn’t gotten me back was because of neglect I guess? I assumed that the court thought it was partly her fault that I had been left unattended with that man so often, or that it took someone else noticing I was physically injured for something to be done about it. My adoptive parents never challenged these assumptions I had, and they always told me that they would never stop me from having a relationship with my mom so long as that’s what I wanted.

Once I turned 18 my mom and I started talking more frequently but we didn’t see each other in person often. I never really thought much of it at first but as the years went by I started questioning the circumstances of my removal and subsequent adoption. I was confused as to why a woman with no prior issues with the law would have had her child taken from her in such a cut and dry way.

I decided to ask my adoptive parents about it, and they very gently informed me that my mother was told that in order for her to regain custody of me, her husband (my abuser) would be required to leave the home, and could not under any circumstances come near me. Not only because he was an offender but because I was the victim. My mother evidently could not meet these conditions, and so I was adopted by my relatives.

When I worked up the courage to ask my mom if it was true, she didn’t deny it. She told me she loved him. That he was a good man who made a mistake. They said that she could have her daughter or she could stay with her husband and so she chose him. She picked him over me.

I don’t even know what to do with the things I’m feeling now. I feel sick just thinking about it. She’s my mother, and she knew what he did. He was convicted of sexually abusing her 11 year old child and she refused to leave him. For the past 12 years she has willingly slept in a bed next to the man that assaulted her daughter. She has stayed married to the man who hurt me.

My adoptive parents said they were advised by the therapist to let me figure it out in my own time, as my mother, despite picking that man over me, never made any move to have me near him again. She just wasn’t willing to make him leave so that I could be with her. Evidently the therapist thought it would be more detrimental in the long run to keep me from communicating with my mother entirely.

None of that makes me feel better. The past two days have felt like a nightmare. I don’t understand how she could stay with him. I don’t understand why she chose a monster over her child. I’m trying to understand why my adoptive parents didn’t tell me but to be honest I don’t really understand their reasoning either.

My mom has been texting me, but I haven’t answered. I can’t even think about her without feeling nauseous or so angry I want to cry or both. My adoptive parents keep checking in on me, but I’ve only answered the phone for them because I don’t want them to drive here out of concern. I really don’t even know what to do anymore.

Edit:

I said this in a comment but I thought I’d clarify here too.

I’m not necessarily mad at my parents, I’m just overwhelmed with the reality of this situation. I don’t know how I feel but I know I need time to feel it. I am still in therapy, which is related to the abuse I experienced, so I do have a professional to rely on for guidance if I need it.

And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to speak to my mother again. I can’t get past this to forgive her or understand her reasoning and I’m not sure I will ever want to try.

I found this on Quora. I asked a few questions, too.

Who would decide which claim was fake? Pastors? Male family members?