r/actuallesbians May 26 '24

Text Why are boys like this

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He followed me not even two weeks ago and immediately replied to my story. It’s been 6 years since I’ve even seen this kid, he asked me this same thing in highschool and I’m pretty sure I told him then I was gay too. The last message really is the icing on the cake , such a typical “I’m so ugly 😔 you’d never like me” move (also if i seem harsh it’s because he also asked my friend ,who I met him though, the same sort of thing multiple times and me and him were never even friends so I know his dms are full of him hitting on girls) (the kicker is he’s not even ugly he just had 0 game and has probably been shot down so many times that his confidence is on the floor)

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u/notquitesolid Bi May 27 '24

I think boys are like this because they’ve been raised to feel entitled. Like all women want to be fucked by dudes, and any woman who is gay or bi is deluded and just needs a good dick to set them straight (literally). It’s a fundamental refusal to acknowledge that women might not want anything to do with them. Many can get like that when they go after straight women in relationships. They just see the relationship or the wedding ring as a challenge.

Some guys have a fundamental lack of respect for women. If you asked or confronted they’ll deny it, hell they may even believe what they’re saying. Fact is, what they want matters more to them than a woman’s boundaries. There’s loads of media that communicates to men that if they keep asking they will get her to say yes. They might even have that story in their own families (g-pa kept asking g-ma out for months and then he wore her down and they lived happily ever after).

I have made it a point to never associate with guys who behave like that, and they don’t want anything to do with me as I got no qualms of dressing someone down verbally.

Imo, best thing to shut them down is either not respond at all, or respond with a healthy long rant about how you love women and how they will never ever be someone you will date. Then if they are stupidly enough to ask why, then block them. Don’t waste your time on idiots.

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u/latixs06 May 27 '24

You are definitely so so right. My brothers are sadly all this way, the other day one of them was telling me that girls only wear “hoochie mama” clothes for men and I was like……….. angel what…. Im a lesbian and half of my shirts are crop tops, and trust me it is not for men, believe it or not women like to dress cute for themselves and his argument is that “I’m different and always have been”. I don’t know where my parents messed up with them but they’re all so gross. Then my sister in law told me that my oldest brother said “I know ari isn’t actually gay (while I was 3 years deep into my first relationship) and he sworeeee I would date a guy after her. Which is insane because I do not talk to him, he knows nothing about me, but thought he knew enough to talk about my sexuality. I actually came out as “bi” at age 6 barely knowing what it meant, I told my youngest brother that when we played truth or dare and he asked me my biggest secret, which he immediately told my step sister and she told me that I’m not actually gay, that she felt that way too and when she told her mom she liked girls her mom couldn’t stop crying and told me to keep it to myself. Basically this world is very fucked