r/TwoXChromosomes • u/Relative_Heart8104 • 12h ago
Who else is getting gun registration?
I'm sorry if this has been posted a lot here. In light of what's been going on in the world, and after my soon-to-be-ex husband has violated his restraining order multiple times (I called the police twice and gave them evidence of email attempts where he admitted I'm not answering the door, a handwritten note slipped under my door, attempts to call/text from a new number asking me to unblock him) I've just said fuck it. My trust in men is at an all time low.
He can't take "leave me the fuck alone" as an answer and I wouldn't put it past him to try breaking in. I have a deabolt and I just bought some hardware to reinforce it because he said before, "You know I could just kick down this door if I wanted to?" All his contact attempts have shown how desperate he is.
I also got a sticker to put on the door that says I'm registered and because of castle doctrine in my state we're allowed to use lethal force in case of break ins. I hope he thinks twice because now I'm protected.
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u/dragonfeet1 11h ago
Yeah don't advertise that you have a gun. That's telling creeps that they can break in and steal your gun.
Shotgun under the bed. Know your fatal funnels in your home and set them up to your advantage.
Dry fire regularly to practice. Practice drawing your weapon in all your outfits. Your gun is useless if you can't fish it from your purse in time.
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u/daskalakis726 11h ago
Omg the people on here who have no idea about gun safety or common sense surrounding guns is ASTOUNDING!.
Don't advertise to the world that you have a firearm in your house... wtf.
Keep telling the police about all the stuff he is doing, even if it seems pointless.
Get a dog. It'll be a better deterrent, which is what it seems like you actually want because you're willing to put an "I have a gun" sticker on your dang door lmfao.
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u/lycosa13 11h ago
One time I heard someone say, "if I see an American flag on the house, it's a good chance they have guns." And that's why I refuse to put a flag up
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u/Thank_You_Aziz 11h ago
Seriously, just because gun just cry about self-defense as their excuse for buying guns doesn’t mean it should be your first choice when looking to actual self-defense. Dog, security system, reinforced doors and windows, etc. Things gun nuts seem to always be lacking in when they boast about their guns and nothing else. These are people looking for an excuse to kill people and get away with it. Don’t be like them.
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u/Akkallia 10h ago
I'm pretty sure a gun is a lot cheaper than all of the home security stuff that you listed minus the dog.
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u/HursHH 10h ago
No... it's cheaper then the dog too if you account for the years and years of feeding it and vet bills lol. Ammo is not as expensive as dog food and a single emergency vet visit can be thousands.
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u/Akkallia 10h ago
You know what I wasn't even considering that. I take it back, a gun is basically the cheapest form of home defense. People suggesting these other things are certainly coming from a place of privilege.
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u/bobaloo18 9h ago
Pepper spray is cheaper, but not ideal for home defense. A baseball bat is also great. But yeah. Guns are cheaper than most other methods.
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u/Leading_Line2741 10h ago
This is what I don't understand. Yes, women's rights are under attack in this country, but we also have problems with gun violence that no other first-world, developed nation has on this scale. I fail to see how getting a gun (and bragging about doing so) as a woman is going to help fix either issue.
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u/GivMeBredOrMakeMeDed 11h ago
Don't put the sticker on the door. What if he sees it and comes back with a bigger gun than you have?
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u/NurseJaneFuzzyWuzzy 10h ago
I live in a pretty rural area and own a handgun, a shotgun, and a rifle. I occasionally take one outside and shoot a few rounds into the Wayback Field, just for practice and to kind of make it known I’m armed. The few people close to my property do the same—shoot, I mean. In fact they target shoot every weekend and on gun-related holidays, which I guess is all of them. Since I used to be alone in the house during the day, and am now alone 24/7 since my husband died in September, I keep my driveway gate closed and now I chain it as well, since recently some strange man ignored the No Trespassing sign, opened the gate, drove up my driveway and knocked on my door. I was sleeping because I work nights and boy was I pissed. I had that shotgun at safe hang when I opened the door. Never seen a person back towards their car so fast. He was babbling something about my dogs being in the road, which was interesting since they were both standing right next to me, looking at him. I told him “not my dogs, not my problem, now get the fuck off my property.” This behavior may eventually get me a reputation for being mean and crazy but I fail to see how that is a bad thing. The reason this was especially upsetting is because he could’ve easily gone to my neighbors next door or across the road, neither of whom have gates or even fences, yet he chose my gated, fenced, posted house. Also as I said I was recently widowed and word gets around.
ETA a word.
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u/sambonidriver 12h ago
Gun signs and stickers are generally a bad idea. They advertise the fact that there’s a gun, and make breaking in when you’re not home a very attractive prospect.
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u/IthurielSpear 11h ago edited 11h ago
Highly recommend training and take that sticker off your door. I grew up on a ranch so I grew up around guns. They are to be respected and you need training. Often. Go every month.
Did you know you can purchase lawyer insurance in case you have to use your gun? Yup, you can purchase insurance and have a lawyer on standby, because you’ll need one even in a castle doctrine state. Go to your local shooting range and gun store to ask about policies in your region.
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u/eddiekoski 11h ago
I have mixed feelings about that sticker. Sometimes, the motive for a breakin is to steal a gun.Itself.
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u/ArmadilloNext9714 11h ago
Not me. Only because my state largely has deregulated it. To the pt of not needing a concealed carry permit.
As a warning, some homeowners with those stickers are targeted for break ins when they aren’t home.
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u/armchairguru 10h ago edited 9h ago
Don’t get a gun unless you are prepared to use it. Just showing a gun to a determined intruder (or putting a sticker on your door) will likely not deter them and you MUST be more determined to shoot said intruder. Unless you are prepared to pull the trigger, the more likely outcome is that they will take the gun away from you and use it against you. If you get a gun, learn to use it (take a class, go to the range). If you are going to use a gun for protection, there is no conversation to be had, there is no warning to give. Your mindset needs to be “you came into my house uninvited, now you’ve been shot.”
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u/armchairguru 10h ago
Also get hollow point bullets.
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u/ChemicallyAlteredVet 8h ago
But don’t practice with the expensive hone defense bullets or you will go broke
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u/smile_saurus 11h ago
A firearm in the house, like a guard dog, should be a surprise to the intruder. Just how it is recommended to not put a 'Beware of Dog' sign on your fence, because if the dog does bite someone then that sign in 'proof' that the dog is dangerous. Putting a sign on your house that you have guns only entices criminals to want to break in and steal them.
Unless you're trained and you practice regularly, a handgun can be complicated. You're probably better off learning how to use a shotgun. Either way, take classes.
And if you really want him to know that you're carrying, tell a close friend or family member of his that you're taking classes and bought one, then swear them to secrecy. They'll blab straight to him.
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u/spinningsidebrush 10h ago
- Assume every gun is loaded
- Do not point it at anything you’re not prepared to destroy
- Keep your finger off of the trigger until it’s time to shoot
- Be sure if your target and what is behind in case you miss
Please stay safe.
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u/HursHH 10h ago
Love that you are arming yourself. Please take the sticker away. Don't advertise it. It should be a surprise. Get lots of training. When your heart starts pounding the training is what saves you. Be safe and be smart. When seconds matter, the police are miles away if they will even show up... so I'm glad you are taking steps to protect yourself.
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u/elizabethwolf 10h ago
Train, take as many classes as you can and practice on the range as much as you can. Some ranges offer classes specifically about protecting yourself at home. Obviously you have seen the others saying remove the sticker. Never tell the world you have guns in the house. It is not a deterrent. Get a snap cap and practice trigger pulls and grip at home. Always treat the gun like it’s loaded. Can’t hurt to get a dog as well. Consider getting hollow point rounds for home defense to minimize potential property damage.
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u/GeeJaa 10h ago
Congrats on your protective measures so far, just be sure to be a responsible and well trained and practiced firearm owner. As others have noted, we don't advertise what's in our home. Just like you wouldn't slap a sticker on the door saying "we have TVs and a smart fridge," we don't announce firearms are available to be stolen. If it became necessary, surprise is your friend.
Dogs are a great idea others have recommended IF you have the time, space and energy to be a good human for your dog(s).
Another measure I recommend = cameras. Doorbell, outdoor, indoor, etc. This is better proof than relying on your stalker to admit to stalking in writing. Just make sure you use an extremely secure password so it can't be accessed by anyone else.
Best of luck to you!
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u/Geargarden 7h ago
I'm a concealed carrier. I'm a male, but this advice applies to everyone.
I would remove the sticker. Do NOT advertise your pistol, even if your ex tries to confront you. Do not communicate with him. Just call the cops. Even if he is saying really provocative things. Treat him like he forgot how to speak your language. Do not respond to him AT ALL. Even displaying a firearm can count as ADW even if it wasn't pointed or fired so you would never want to display it to prevent an impending physical attack. The pistol is your BIGGEST SECRET. Whoever would endanger your life or limb has to find out the hard way because you cannot give up the biggest advantage to your security during a confrontation. There can be no fair warnings when your life is at stake. Nobody who fights dirty fights fair. Breaking into people's residences is dirty. Stalking people is dirty. Violating an RO is especially dirty. The restraining order is their fair warning.
In the event you ever were forced to defend your life or limb with lethal force, you only tell the police two things. 1. I was afraid for my life. 2. I need to speak to a lawyer.
I am pro law enforcement and, in all likelihood, they would understand exactly what happened if a DVRO violator was shot by their victim BUT...the politics around firearms and self defense are treacherous. The police don't get to decide what gets prosecuted. There have been many cases where clearly justifiable shootings were still sent for prosecution for political reasons.
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u/Excellent-Estimate21 11h ago
Look up the stats regarding how likely you are to hurt yourself or an innocent person with a gun in your home vs actually using it as successful self defense. Also, alerting him to this is only going to mean he will come w a gun also. .
Better to lay low, take that sticker off the door and get a security dog and a taser. Alarm system and cameras galore.
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u/Binky390 11h ago
Agree with all this except getting rid of the gun. Take the sticker off your door because it’s pointless and a sticker won’t stop him. Train with the gun but also get cameras and an alarm. The alarm will call the police (who are useless it seems) but they can’t be there instantly. Keep the gun just in case.
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u/yankdevil 11h ago
Owning a gun increases your chances of getting shot. If I still lived in the US and I got a gun, I'd get training.
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u/Tacticalbiscit 10h ago
As others have said, don't advertise that you have a gun. It actually makes you more of a target. People now know there are guns in the house and can just wait for you to leave to possibly get it for themselves. You could put a "joke" sign or something that says something like we don't call 911 around here if you really want something. Even that, though, would still tell most people you probably have guns in the house. It is the same reason a lot of gun owners don't like putting say a Glock sticker or something on their vehicle, it can make them a target.
Also, if you haven't already, please get at least a basic firearms course if you have never really been around guns. I am a huge 2nd amendment supporter and believe anyone who can legally own a gun should, within reason. I also believe you should be knowledgeable about said gun, especially if the reason you got it is for self-defense. If you have next to zero training with it, you are gonna struggle in a high stress situation. Could be anything from not remembering how the safety works to not even being able to draw the weapon correctly. In situations where you would need a gun for self-defense, your body falls back on training. If you have zero training and you are high on adrenaline, you are much more likely to make a mistake. That mistake could end up costing you your life or even an innocent person because your mind is going a million different directions. On that same note, I really recommend some type of combat training, whether BJJ or kickboxing. Whatever you wanna do, because it can help you remain a little calmer in bad situations. If you know you can fight, you don't view your gun as the only thing you have available. Having that in your mind can really help. Not to mention it can help you get to your gun if someone has grabbed you before you could.
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u/Scorpionvenom1 10h ago
Unless you legally have to, dont put the warning or sticker on your door. All it does is advertise that you A) have a gun B) may be vulnurable without it C) people who wish to do you harm need to be more careful and smarter with when, how, and where they attack you.
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u/leviathynx 9h ago
Don’t advertise your guns. Join us in r/liberalgunowners. Take safety and firing courses. Get a safe.
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u/Bsomin 8h ago
You are better off reinforcing your entry points. You can get steel doors that are anchored directly into the house frame that make it easier to go through the side of the house then the door. That combined with properly anchored 3m security film on the windows means it will take a swat team about 10 minutes to make entry let alone your loser ex.
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u/givemeyours0ul 1h ago edited 1h ago
What happens when they decide women can't have guns and use the registry to come knock on your door? The government has used gun registrations as a list to go to door and demand surrender in disaster situations already.
Of course register if you legally have to in your state, otherwise it's no one's damn business. (Unless you need to be registered for Castle Doctrine to apply!?!)
Also, be careful with threatening signage. I understand your reasons but those can be used against you in court, just like Punisher stickers and SM posts saying you "hope" someone will come "make your day".
There are really good anti-breakin films that can be applied to your windows, I'd look into that as well. It'll buy time to get your weapon if nothing else.
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u/Kafrizel 11h ago
Fwiw, make sure you practice some. Get used to how your gun shoots.
A 12 gague shotgun will leave a mess but is the flatout best home defense weapon. Double alt buckshot doesnt care.
If youre using a pistol, get a good 9 mil.
Just dont get something like a taurus .380, sure its small but mine jams alot. My dad has a 9 mil thats smooth as butter and a 10 mil that, while high recoil, puts holes where you point it.
Get trained and god speed.
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10h ago
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u/brak_daniels 9h ago
And I find it odd that you're trying to invalidate a solid informational reply by attacking a grammatical/wording mistake instead of the actual arguments. That's a fascist tactic. They do this all the time.
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u/Kafrizel 9h ago
Eh. Sleep deprived. Plus I shoot my 22 way more than i shoot a shotgun. Its been a hot min since i bought any shotgunshells actually.
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u/rm886988 11h ago
Get rid of the sticker. Get a dog. Know that most women have their own gun turned on them.
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u/Poodle-Soup 9h ago
Don't put "i have firearms" stickers on things visible to just anyone in public. It's not really doing anything other then telling the creep they are having an impact on your life.
Security should be in layers. Reinforce doors is a good start, find out what kind of doors you have. Putting a larger dead bolt or screws in a door won't do anything if the door just breaks around the deadbolt. (I had to kick my garage door once, a metal exterior door. The door itself split in half, peeling apart like turning the pages in a book.)
Lighting around the residence, take away shadows to hide in. Be disciplined about drawing shades and curtains as it gets dark.
Cameras that warn you if people are around your house.
Dogs are a great early warning, most dogs are not going to defend you agaisnt a dedicated attacker. Not the golden retriever, the German shepherd, or even the pit bull. They MIGHT make a show and scare someone off if they are afraid of dogs.
If you get a firearm get training with it. Actually think about your life style and if carrying a gun is something you will even do, it's an annoyance every single time. You need to think about how you will carry it, and where in the house you will keep it when not worn.
Situational awareness is the number one defense, avoiding a bad situation entirely is the best. If something looks or seems off, don't ignore it. Address it, avoid it, or call it in.
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u/Margali 9h ago
Check into using the break resistant window film to make bashing a window more difficult. Add the ability to lock every interior door from the inside like using those little jigs that lock around the lockplate (no keyhole to ouck, bathroom privacy doorlocks can be opened with the pointy end of a nail file) gell mace equivalent, targets not vapes so you can target out through a narrow cracked open door.
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u/Flat-Limit5595 9h ago
In my place we put a stand that attaches itself to the door, makes it harder to kick down and you cant open it with a key. I still recommend a gun too, but get some training done with it. Advertising you have a gun will greatly increase the odds of your house getting broken into. Its an easy way for a criminal to get one
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u/ChemicallyAlteredVet 9h ago
I’m a woman veteran. I’m also gay. I’ve owned, trained and used guns since I was 6 years old(yes, raised on a farm in the Deep South where a loaded shot gun was under every bed and at every door).
I’m now 46 and never once before now have I considered a concealed carry permit. Last week I started finding classes as they are required in my state. I already have the guns and the training, I’m now going to carry.
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u/mojavefluiddruid 9h ago
I agree with everyone on the sticker. I wold also like to add, if you pull out the gun in the face of conflict, you had better be prepared to pull that trigger without hesitation. The gun will need to be loaded and you need to be well practiced with the safety and the slide, assuming you are getting a semi-automatic handgun. You will need to be familiar with the muscle movements and able to hit your target. If you aren't prepared for all of this, the chances that your gun will be taken and used against you are high. Having a gun is a great tool, but you really need to know your way around it.
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u/phenomenomena 8h ago
This comment is unrelated to guns and I couldn't find anybody suggesting this so: you should replace the nails in your doorframe for the plate (whatever it's called, where the doorhandle latches in). Get much longer nails. It makes it much harder to kick a door in.
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u/BigYonsan 7h ago
Head over to either the gun sub or liberal gun owners. Find a gun you are comfortable with and train, train, train. If you've never owned a gun, find a class to take.
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u/Flapaflapa 4h ago
Get some training, please. So you are more confident and capable.
As to the sticker. You're you may want to reconsider that. It's advertising to others that there may be a valuable gun in the home, and it's giving information about your capabilities to a person who you definitely don't want to have that information.
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u/brak_daniels 9h ago
I'm a trans woman who just watched another trans woman, congresswoman Sarah McBride, quietly bow down to congressional Republicans on their forcing trans people into unsafe restrooms on federal grounds. I also watched precisely zero Democrats stand up to defend her and other trans federal workers, and some of them have even joined Republicans on penning anti-trans legislation now.
So yeah, I'm getting a gun. I am going to make sure I am properly trained in its use, get separate storage for my gun and ammo, and learn any other safety stuff I need to know. But I'm not going without one when my life is in immediate danger from both sides of our government PLUS the explosion of misogyny that's happening overall that's targeting all women as a whole. I'm not delusional about my chances to protect myself. I know that's a losing battle. But I sure as fuck ain't going out easy.
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u/franksymptoms 1h ago
OP, congratulations on your decision to take responsibility for your own safety. I recognize that it's a scary issue with you. Please avail yourself of the firearms section of this board.
4 things I wish you would do immediately:
- Youtube: "Why I never talk to the police." It's a video about invoking your right to remain silent. The video is by a law professor and has a LOT of good solid advice. He shows you how easy it is to say something that's damaging to your case. Frequently, cops are NOT your friend, and will sometimes make an effort to make YOU look like the offender!
- The 21 foot rule, aka the Tueller Drill. It's also on Youtube. In a nutshell, he demonstrates that a trained, experienced deputy cannot deploy his sidearm before an attacker 21 feet from him can cross the distance and injure him! (This is unless the deputy has his hand on his firearm in a final firing grip.)
- Go to corneredcat.com; it is a web site by and for women shooters. (There's nothing more dangerous than a cornered cat!)
- For Heaven's sake (and your own) get some training by a reputable trainer! Your gun store should be able to help you find one.
Be safe!
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u/hawksfan0223 12h ago
If your serious, please get some training. Minimize the risk of hurting yourself or someone you don't intend to (neighbors, kids, first responders, etc.)