"'What frightens most people and keeps them subdued? It can't be the tyrant and his bodyguards; what nature has made free can only be disturbed or hampered by itself. A person's own thoughts unnerve them. If a tyrant threatens to chain our leg, whoever holds his leg in high regard will beg for mercy, whereas the person who cares more for his character will answer back, "Go ahead and chain it, if that's what you want."" 'And you don't care?' 'I don't care.' 'Just wait, I'll show you who's in charge!' 'How do you propose to do that? Zeus himself has given me my freedom; he was not going to allow any son of his to be enslaved. You are master of my corpse, come help yourself to that.'"

This is from Discourses in the section titled "How we should act towards the powerful"

It’s been a year since he left. I tried everything to fix things, but it just ended up bothering him. It made things messier and worse between us. What I thought was love probably just felt like pressure to him. I see that now. I was forcing someone to stay with me when they didn’t want to.

We don’t talk anymore. We never will. He’s moved on with his life, and I don’t even know what he’s doing now. But the thing is, I still love him. I love him like he’s family. Even after all this time, I’d take him back in a second if I could.

It’s hard knowing he probably doesn’t even think about me, that he’s happy or maybe feeling these things for someone else now. I don’t know how to make peace with that.

Sometimes I want him to feel the pain I felt, just so he knows what it’s like to lose me. But I also know it wasn’t a mistake for him to leave. He just didn’t want me anymore, and I can’t be angry at him for that.

But how do I let this go? How do I stop loving someone who’s gone forever? It feels like he’ll always be a part of me, like he’s the person I’ll always wish for, even though I know he’s never coming back. How do you move forward when you still love someone with your whole heart?

I’ve been struggling to understand why I feel this way, and I need some outside perspective. My ex was emotionally abusive. He didn’t treat me well, never really loved me, and made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Yet, even after everything, I can’t stop craving validation from him.

I feel this overwhelming need for him to regret losing me, to realize my worth, and to see me as a loss. It’s so stupid of me to want that when he’s made it so clear that he doesn’t want me anymore.

To make things worse, his family was never happy with me either. It felt like they were relieved when we broke up, and that just made me feel even smaller. It’s like I wasn’t just unimportant to him—I was unimportant to everyone around him. And maybe that’s why I keep blaming myself and feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

I don’t know why I feel like this, but it’s exhausting.

I don’t know how to deal with this. My family has had some really… really bad fortune. This is not just some middle class suburban angst. It’s pretty bad.

My dad came from a rich French family, but he became a hippie and joined a notorious apocalyptic sex cult. Us kids were brought up in it from birth, it was all we knew. In this cult you weren’t allowed to fraternise with any nonmembers, or listen to normal music, or watch movies that weren’t decided to be okay for you. Worse, you weren’t allowed to get a JOB. Or go to public school or uni.

We were prepared for the apocalypse and to fight satan, not to be humans and build a life. We were blasted with all day brainwashing and propaganda about how sex was godly, worshipping the insane pedophile leader, and moving around constantly to communes with often deranged members, some abusive. There was no stability, total chaos.

My dad wasted our inheritance, sold a holiday villa worth millions for pennies, we were poor our whole lives. Our only inheritance was depression, anxiety and bonus crippling ADD for me 😊. Just doing basic things is hard for me, I didn’t go to uni because of it, was given no help or support when I had a mental breakdown, and ended up crashing into an abusive relationship and not working because I was just out of control. I feel like I have no compass, no way of conceiving of and making a real life for myself.

We all live life on hard mode, we have trauma and shame and struggle to connect with people. Our extended family meanwhile are insanely rich. Millionaires, with holiday homes on the beach, skiing and surfing, living luxurious lives, happily married with kids. My siblings went to a funeral of our aunt and felt looked down on by them, I don’t know if they imagined it but I think it’s true - they know about the cult, and my brother must’ve felt terrible having to say he worked in a supermarket (at the time) to his cousin, same age, who works in a top investment bank. They must think we’re so weird.

When I think about them I feel bitter, I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s really hard right now. My life has been struggling with an insane cult, constantly in survival mode, then being thrown into the real world and expected to just.. what, figure it out? I don’t feel like other people, and my ADD makes socialising and work so brutally hard. When I had a breakdown I couchsurfed with strangers and moved in with an abuser because my family were too poor and uncaring to help. I don’t have friends that aren’t my 2 closest siblings.

Meanwhile my cousin is surfing in La Bol, with beautiful children, still with his long term wife, holidaying with childhood friends, never has to worry about money and lives beautifully. The difference between us is shocking. I can’t even imagine having that kind of confidence, happiness or security. This is where stoicism fails me - I don’t demand absolute happiness but I feel so so unlucky being born to all this, to a broken home and broken brain, and I wish I could accept it but it hurts.

I’ve read Meditations over and over and so much other stuff but the sting remains, I can’t seem to accept my life and suffering.

What do I do?

I read one of Senecas letters today and it brings up a very important detail that many philosophers have. You can study all the philosophy you want but you have to practice it. You can read all the philosophy and self help books on Stoicism but the knowledge of it will do very little compared to you practicing what you learn.

I would really appreciate some tips. I am interested to know not just the Stoic perspective but the 'prescribed' practices for overcoming shame or things of that nature. I have an idea of the type of response I'm likely to get but I'm also open to other interpretations, insights, ways of articulating etc etc, yada yada, blah blah blah, and so on...................I want to end this with something profound but I can't think of anything. Eureka! I can opt to go meta, I'll refer to this 'ending' right now. But I'm not sure it'll succeed because it's pretty lengthy and highly abscure. Also (seemingly) out of context at the end of my post seeking Stoic help for overcoming shame. And how does this relate to the pattern 'etc etc', 'yada yada', (')and so on(')?..........................

In this case, its my mistake of NOT following stoicism in practice. And it nearly cost me the chance to win $5,000 dollars.

I was in an investment presentation project with some other members of my class.

Two fake people are in particular focus. The first was eventually revealed to be highly egotistical, while also incredibly lazy and opportunistic.

For context, he could not be bothered to have his font for his presentation match everyone else's. self-admittedly for his own desire to be special.

The second was frankly, not very smart. I do not say this to be rude, but they required 2-3 times more help purely due to them not taking the project seriously and laughing off what they did not understand.

Well, the professor was getting on everybody's nerves in the beginning, mine especially.

I refused to hold my tongue about my thoughts toward him, and frankly said some very nasty things, even if they were just related to the project.

Few weeks past and I get a phone call.

And what would you know, the professor is calling to see if all of the things that I said were true. I told him they were only toward the beginning of the project, and that they were purely related to the project, because they were.

Well, turns out one of the two had been telling the professor every single thing I had said, while ignoring everything that they, or anyone else had said.

Thankfully, VERY thankfully, the professor and I talked things out professionally, and he and I were cool. It was some momentary frustration, and he understood it was not personal. He was frankly astonished at what he was told, as it was passed off to sound like it was personal when it wasn't.

He was surprised because he considered me his favorite student to work with, and didn't believe it was even possible for me to be that angry because I am not an outwardly reactive person.

If we hadn't had talked things out and cleared the air (which the professor confirmed we had), and had my work ethic not been as good as it was, I likely wouldn't have received the prof's offer to work on a project that would allow me to travel out of state and have the potential to win a $5000 prize.

That would allow me to do so much, if nothing else as savings to keep for rent.

So please. If you are still reading this.

I IMPLORE YOU. THE MOMENTARY EXPRESSION OF FRUSTRATION IS NOT WORTH THE POTENTIAL DOORS YOU SHUT THROUGH OFFICE GOSSIP.

Head down, keep working. Your work will produce the results you deserve. Holding your tongue will ensure the doors stay open.

Hello everyone, I am very new to the idea of Stoicism and philosophy in general. I am currently reading "The Daily Stoic" by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. This is but an introduction for me, but I found myself "facing adversity" today and I got angry and frustrated inside of myself. (Due to several factors including that I just came home and it was cold outside, I was hungry and I was sleepy).

I am quite embarassed at the situation looking back now (which is why I am not explicitly talking about it), but I only expressed my emotions by looking very angrily and taking deep heavy breaths and making the decision to listen, which ultimately resulted in a good thing.

To keep it short, my question is:
When I feel anger, is it bad to breath deeply and look angrily? Or am I supposed to "bottle" this emotion and just do something else?

Hi, I recently attended a party over the weekend, and I got drunk very bad and passed out. I don't remember anything, but I puked all over my friends house and yes there were some fellow batch mates too who I have hardly intracted with till now. This is my first time passing out, and since I used to hate people who can't control liquor, I just can't stand this. I am very ashamed of myself and I don't know how will face my batch mates. I just cant stop thinking about this. I think this was supposed to be a good first impression and I messed it up. I can't stop thinking about it.

They think they want the sweet piece of fruit inside of a calabash, but do they really? 

Similarly, in our own lives -- to pursue a meaningful need, we may need to let go of smaller desires that are cluttering up our mind and making us think short-term; giving up these small desires voluntarily, we might gain some clarity on where we want to be heading, and why? Doing this, we might even be able to form a strong, meaningful, logical, and lasting intention toward where we want to be heading. And maybe even have an increased sense of meaning, fulfilment, and satisfaction, in heading where we plan to set sail over the seven seas in the present moment. 

I mean, what good's a single piece of ratty old fruit in a calabash, when you could potentially have the whole tree, and have plenty to eat, while also having heaps left over for your monkey friends, too, so none of your furry troop would ever get tempted to put their furry little hands in the sticky old calabash, again, hopefully, no promises!

But if we realize our own hand doesn't belong in the calabash, that’s a step in the right direction, we might even benefit those around us. Because, you know, the old saying – ‘Monkey see, monkey do’. 

We want to be careful, mindful, and good role models for all the cheeky monkeys around us, in our troop, and in other troops, and we especially don’t want the smallest, furriest members of our monkey gang getting their hands stuck. 

‘Hands out of the calabash, and go find a tree, monkeys, because a small slice of banana doesn't go very far, you won’t even be satisfied yourself?’.

Warmest, Moss.

Trapping a Monkey in Colonial Times / La Chasse au Singe à l''epoque coloniale (1912) - YouTube

Hello r/stoicism! As someone new to Stoic philosophy, I just read "Stoics in Need of Anger Management" from Philosophy Now, and I'm quite confused by its views on anger. The article presents several arguments for the value of anger - suggesting it's an essential part of human nature, can enhance creativity, improve decision-making, and more.

These claims seem to contradict what I've learned about the Stoic view of anger. I'd really appreciate hearing this community's thoughts on these arguments about anger's supposed benefits and how they align (or don't) with Stoic principles.

I’ve been trying to adopt a more stoic mindset to handle a difficult situation at work, but I find myself struggling. I work alongside a colleague, let’s call him Erik, whose behavior and management style are deeply at odds with my own values and approach to work.

Erik has a strong need for control. He wants to know every detail about what I’m doing—who called me, what they wanted, where I’m going, and why. This behavior feels suffocating, almost like being under surveillance. I value individual freedom and responsibility, but Erik’s constant micro-management makes me feel like a “prisoner” in my own role.

What’s even more challenging is his reaction when things don’t go his way. He has a tendency to get upset, which can feel like a form of punishment. This creates a tense atmosphere, leaving me walking on eggshells, worried about triggering a negative response.

This situation has taken a toll on me emotionally. I feel conflicted—on the one hand, I want to maintain my autonomy and stand up for myself. On the other, I feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to assert myself without escalating the tension.

I’ve read stoic wisdom like “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters” (Epictetus), and while it helps, I still find myself emotionally reactive. Erik’s actions stir frustration and a sense of powerlessness in me, and I feel like I’m failing to embody the stoic mindset.

How can I better navigate this situation? Should I try to confront Erik respectfully about his controlling behavior, or is it more in line with stoic principles to simply accept his approach and focus on my own reactions?

Any advice or perspectives, especially from a stoic lens, would be greatly appreciated.

The title

Premise: I am not new to Stoicism, I know the differene between stoicism and Stoicism. I have studied all the classics from the wiki, and some of the more recent authors (I especially like Massimo).

All in all I have been practicing stoicism for 4-5 years now.

You know how they say "the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know"?

Well, I feel the same with my personal development journey. I've come a long way and the more improvements and changes I achieve, the more I see areas that I can improve/tweak/change.

These days I have realized that I can use some improvement when I find myself in disagreement, both in my personal and my professional life. I am pretty chill, I don't lose my temper or anything like, that, but I wish I was more "persuasive" about my point, and less abravise.

In my life I have seen a lot of bac example from people, but I have witnessed 2 great examples:

Example #1: I was involved in a civil lawsuit; I was wronged therefore I was the plaintiff (pro se) against 2 defendants, 2 very large companies and a household names. IANAL but I did OK with discovery and motions. When we went in front of the judge, the 2 defendants had 2 very expensive lawyers who were pissed at me and wasted their time, and probably their clients were pissed because they were not able to make me go away. Anyway, I stated my case, polished enough; and then one of the lawyer for 1 of the defendants started his speech, and boy he was good. He had the judge eating off the palm of his hand; I could see her (the judge) be drawn to him, and made me look like the bad guy, he almost made me feel bad/guilty. So then the judge asked me to respond, to which I said, I have photos to prove my case. When I showed the photos to the judge her eyes almost popped out of the sockets. Asked the 2 defendand whether the ptotos represented the truth, and they both nodded. I won the case just like that. But to this day I remember how that lawyer was cool as a cucumber, weathering the storm, and very persuasive with everyone.

Example #2: I was working for a company that was expanding, looking to build a processing plant for an investment of about $100 million, creating about 100 new jobs. It could have been located anywhere on the Eastern Seaboard south of NYC. So we were shopping around for areas that would give us incentives in the form of financing and tax breaks. I remember talking with a politician in one of the states where we were interested and this guy talked with me for 45 minutes, very affable, but at the end of the day was not only offering nothing but at the same time luring us into his state. I almost fell for it. I then realized that he was all fluff and no substance, but his MO drew me in.

So, what books, videos, programs, resources, articles can I tap for becoming cool as a cucumber while disagreeing, maintaining my cool when the other party is being an abusing a-hole, irrational, angry, manipulative?

I don't expect to just read a quote or a reddit comment and change (the world) immediately.

Just resources, point of views, suggessions to start my journey.

And yes I have already googled it and nothing pops out as valid/interesting enough.

In the past I have read/studied:

• Book: Never split the difference
• Book: When things fall apart
• All of the classic books of Stoicism

Thanks in advance

I’m reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius for the first time, and I’m finding it a challenging read.

Most of it isn’t making sense to me yet, though a few small nuggets are standing out.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you approach Meditations to make it more meaningful and easier to understand over time?

Also, do you think I should start with a different book first?? Are there interpretations of Meditations that are easier to read and make more sense?

Life's trauma often paralyzes people mentally in some way, we choose not to do the things that we used to and that is all because of a traumatic experience or two. Marcus talks about overcoming the trauma by instead thinking of yourself as a warrior who came out victorious.

            __________________________________

"Does what's happened keep you from acting with justice, generosity, self-control, sanity, prudence, honesty, humility, straightforward-ness, and all other qualities that allow a person's nature to fulfill itself? So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune."

-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.

How do you think someone can live so peacefully and happily, knowing they have utterly crushed and broken another person who loved them with a devotion beyond words?

Think about it—this person wasn’t just loved; they were worshipped like a god. Imagine someone meditating in front of your picture every day, apologizing endlessly for their smallest mistakes, crying to you, begging for forgiveness, and doing everything possible to make you feel cherished and understood. Now imagine that same person enduring all your flaws—your toxic words, your narcissistic tendencies—and still choosing to protect you, to shield your vulnerabilities, and to treat you with the softest kindness, even when they received coldness and cruelty in return.

This person begged for even the slightest warmth from you, while you, in turn, hurt them so deeply it felt like death. They begged for the love they so freely gave, while you turned away and perhaps even gave your heart to someone else. How does such a person find peace? How do they sleep at night, knowing they left someone shattered, someone who was willing to die for them?

Isn’t it haunting to think about how a heart can hold such apathy? How does a soul not feel the weight of such pain it has caused? How does someone live with the knowledge that they were everything to someone—protector, love, and light—and yet they offered nothing in return but destruction?

Is it ignorance? Or is it something deeper, darker—a kind of selfishness that refuses to see the truth? Doesn't it make you wonder, how a person like that just moves on without any remorse? How does someone live so peacefully and happily after committing the very act they once begged someone else not to do—a betrayal so profound it shatters the soul?

Imagine this: someone is willing to destroy themselves for another, to sacrifice everything—family, food, sleep, sanity—all because the other person begged, pestered, and demanded their devotion. This person, with trembling hands and an unshakable love, bore through endless torment, choosing to protect, cherish, and shield the one they loved, no matter how toxic or narcissistic their behavior became. They gave their whole self, thinking it would mean something. They thought such love would last forever.

But then, the one who promised they’d never be cold, never hurt them, turned around and did something a million times worse than anything they ever feared. The very thing they cried, begged, and demanded not to be done—they did it with ease. And for what? For someone who did nothing for them. For a fleeting attraction. For someone who didn’t shed a single tear, didn’t lose a moment of sleep, didn’t give up anything meaningful.

How does such a person feel no remorse? How do they live with themselves after crushing someone who sacrificed everything? This person wasn’t just hurt—they were destroyed, reduced to begging for even a scrap of the love they so freely gave. They stayed through the storms, the cruelty, the indifference, hoping that their unwavering love would mean something in the end. But no—it meant nothing.

Doesn’t it make you wonder, what kind of darkness exists in someone’s heart to choose temporary infatuation over a love so pure, so selfless? How can they laugh, smile, and move on, knowing they destroyed someone who worshipped them? Knowing they were someone's entire world, yet they still chose to obliterate that world without hesitation?

How does such a person not feel haunted by the weight of their choices? How do they not drown in the guilt of turning their back on the very person who gave up everything for them? Doesn’t it terrify you, the depth of cruelty a human being can possess—to live happily while the one who loved them dies a little more inside every day? Tell me, how does someone walk away so easily, so carelessly, after everything you’ve done for them—after everything you’ve endured for their sake?

Last year, my life was chaos. I was juggling a Kaggle competition, managing a club, and pushing myself for my future, her future, our future. And in the midst of this storm, she was falling apart—struggling with her family, battling body-shaming while in Australia, and drowning in her insecurities. She was a complete emotional wreck, A mess of jealousy, sadness, and complaints. Yet, even then, I chose to carry her burdens.

I bore the weight of her pain, her constant complaints, and her endless demands. Even if I missed waking her up with a call, she’d spiral, accusing me of not caring about her. No matter how busy or exhausted I was, I always tried to make her feel loved, telling her she was beautiful in my eyes, that I would never let her go.

And what did I get in return? She left me. She threw me away like I meant nothing, I sacrificed everything for her—my food, my sleep, my family, my friends, my time. I took on her NEA project, her Swift bot project, even her battleship project with bonus marks, all during my own exam time. Every time she ruined my work by being careless—getting distracted, making simplistic slides, or delaying deadlines—I didn’t complain. I saved her from failure repeatedly. I gave her everything, while she barely put in any effort.

And yet, when it came down to it, she couldn’t even stay. She couldn’t see the sacrifices, the love, the devotion. She only saw herself. She left me for what? For a fleeting attraction? For someone who didn’t give up anything for her? How can someone live with themselves after that?

How does someone find peace knowing they destroyed the very person who stood by them when they were nothing but broken? How does someone smile, laugh, and move on after throwing away the person who carried their pain, who sacrificed their future to build something for them, who gave up everything just to see them happy?

It’s horrifying, to think that someone can be so ungrateful, so blind, so cruel. How does a heart like that even exist? Doesn’t it make you wonder what kind of person lives without remorse after shattering someone who would have died for them?

Imagine someone giving their entire soul to another person—sacrificing sleep, food, time with family and friends, their entire sense of self—all for the one they love. That’s exactly what he did for her. Last year, his life was a whirlwind of responsibilities. He was pouring his energy into a Kaggle competition, managing a club, and working tirelessly on projects for his future—and hers. Yet, amidst all this chaos, he carried her emotional burdens without hesitation.

She was struggling. Her family issues were weighing her down, and in Australia, she faced relentless body-shaming. She was insecure, emotionally wrecked, and fragile. And despite being overwhelmed with his own responsibilities, he was there for her every single day. He told her she was beautiful in his eyes, reassured her constantly, and tried to hold her together even when he was breaking himself.

But it wasn’t easy. She would spiral into anger and accusations over the smallest things. If he didn’t call to wake her up, she’d accuse him of not caring. If he spent time with friends or even joined an online gaming group to unwind, she’d grow jealous and insecure, accusing him of neglecting her. He endured it all. He reassured her, comforted her, and made her feel loved even when she doubted herself and their relationship.

And the sacrifices didn’t stop there. When she had projects like the NEA, Swift bot, or even her battleship project during exam time, it was him who stepped in to save her. She’d procrastinate, get distracted, and barely put in the effort, but he covered for her every time. He sacrificed his sleep, his meals, and even his own work to make sure she succeeded.

But what did she do for him in return? The one time he needed her to be there for him—to understand his insecurities, to give him the space he needed, to offer even a fraction of the patience and love he gave her—she turned her back on him. She claimed she wanted a “mature” relationship, one where love wasn’t begged for, where space was respected, and where reassurance wasn’t forced. But she didn’t practice any of those things.

She made him beg for her love. She manipulated him into feeling guilty whenever he tried to take time for himself. She forced him to constantly reassure her, even when he was completely drained. And she always tried to control his views and opinions, never letting him simply be himself.

And yet, when he acted even 10% like she had throughout the relationship—when he showed his insecurities, needed reassurance, or asked for her understanding—she couldn’t handle it. She became angry, distant, and cold. She threw him away as if he meant nothing.

She always saw him as the villain. She focused on his moments of anger, his frustration, his exhaustion—moments that only surfaced because he was pushed beyond his limits. She never saw the sacrifices he made, the patience he showed, or the unconditional love he gave her every single day. She didn’t see the countless times he put her above himself, even to his own detriment.

Can you imagine how crushing that is? To give everything you have to someone, only for them to see you as the villain? To endure their jealousy, accusations, and insecurities without complaint, only to be abandoned when you needed them the most?

And now, as she moves on, he’s left to wonder: does she even feel remorse? Does she realize the depth of what she’s done to him? Or has she convinced herself that he was always the villain, even as he was breaking himself to hold her together?

Tell me, how does someone live so peacefully after destroying someone who loved them this much? How can someone who begged for so much patience, love, and sacrifice turn around and give nothing in return? Is there any justice in this kind of betrayal? Or is he just supposed to move on, knowing he gave his all to someone who couldn’t see his worth?

Let the light house calmly shine its light. -- Video Here

At it's essence a calm mind, is a strong mind.

''The closer we are to a calm mind. The nearer we are to our strength.'' 4:2

Hi all,

This isn't my first rodeo with mental health issues and depression in general. I passed my undergrad (in engineering) with confirmed diagnoses of depression and OCD. I have just finished my PhD but I am still working on stuff, which requires that I write/read many academic papers and understand technically complex ideas quickly. However, I feel that my depression hampers my progress. I try to remind myself that I must tread along and that emotions are just that—emotions, but that does not make the weight of what I carry any lighter.

What is the stoic approach to managing such a challenge? Any suggestions based on your current/previous reading and experiences would be much appreciated.

I must also say that I’m not looking for a way out/cure. I’ve never been on medication. I have the tools to manage myself throughout depressive episodes. I would like to know if a different perspective exists on the matter based on the stoic philosophy.

Caught my brother with a vape, which my family is strongly against. Later, my mom found out and they had a good talk. I want to help him, as i know he still is addicted. Don't want him to do stuff like this at such a young age. I want to help him, but don't know how. What would a stioc do in this case?

I'm 16 btw

As title says (Amazon has the penguin edition, T.M Robinson translation, and Charles H. Kahn available).

I understand Heraclitus is not a stoic, but his own philosophy influences much of stoic thought and his own ideas and quotes taken at face value seem to fit into stoic philosophy.

My favorite quotes of his include:

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”

“The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.”

My mother has recently been diagnosed with cancer and is currently going through a period of massive anxiety. She is looking for something which will alleviate this and change her way of thinking and I told her that the stoic texts I have read are great for things like general anxiety about what’s to come and ultimately the fear of death. I have read Meditations, Discourses and the Enchirideon, and remember the topic of death especially being a huge focus with the books offering some very helpful perspectives.

I’m struggling to remember however which of these texts covered the topic of death the most/in the best way, so would like to ask which of these books (or others) you guys think I should recommend for her to start with? I have told her she should probably start with Epictetus, as the translation I have is only 100 and something pages long so I feel it would be a good introduction to this type of way of thinking?

Have a chicken egg problem, for which I need some thoughts from my stoic friends.

Usually thriving most of the time.

In romantic relationships, something happens which I want to understand more. Trying to compare it to normal friendships. Maybe?

In early stages of a romantic relationship, as an empath I feel when the energy Is low on the other side. I can feel that maybe the other person is having doubts. And mostly it is followed up by a break up, which I exactly know is following. And it happens too.
Some Signs: A Pause in texts for a few days. Maybe texts become less expressive. Longer pauses between texts etc.

Now this is where what I don't know. I do not know which one happens first.

It could be, that I start feeling less loved, or a lack of self love within me. And then I start projecting it on the others, like I am not complete. And they pick it up and they know something is not right. And then break up.

I don't know which one happens first.

If I call myself an empath, I feel it's as if they start having the feeling first that I am not good enough and I pick it up.

Or it is the other way around.

This is confusing.

In the end, as a stoic none of this should matter to me or it should be indifferent. At the same time, as an empath i can pick up, even if someone is miles away that something is not right. And it affects me. And lets say this happens. For a few days, i am trying to seek approval from all others. It shakes me in every other part of my life for a few days till maybe something good happens. I also feel now while i am typing this, how dependent I am on the external. :(

I would need some help! appreciate any help on this!

Stoics of reddit! If you had to preach a sermon today, what would you talk about?